Beauty and the Beast
by InkstainedHands1177
Summary: Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain enjoy life while they can. This is a time for them in between wars, in between criminal cases, and in between arch evil bad guys trying to kill them and the world. ((Valduggery. Fluff with a side of plot. Skulduggery Pleasant Series is owned by Derek Landy))
1. Chapter I

Chapter I

 **AU in a way, because I'm keeping all the characters I want alive to be alive. = ) Sorry if some don't like this. I just can't escape my denial. This story would be an adult T. No explicit stuff, I want everyone to be able to enjoy this. It would probably make a few uncomfortable though. Adult means….Adult.**

 **Derek Landy owns Skulduggery Pleasant Book Series. I'm only borrowing the characters for the duration of this story.**

Ghastly sighed and stared at Skulduggery. "Really?"

The detective nodded.

Ghastly looked at the ceiling. "Tell her. Just _tell_ her."

Skulduggery sighed. "It's not as easy as all that. I'm pretty sure she still likes that bad hair day boy."

Ghastly snorted. "She broke up with him almost ten years ago!"

Skulduggery groaned. His excuses were becoming lame, and he knew it.

Ghastly stared at the skeleton. "You're insecure about being only a skeleton, aren't you?"

Said skeleton grumbled. "What have I got to offer her? Seriously? I'm a skeleton. Completely made of bone, no flesh, no…necessary items…I had a farm, a future, and a family to offer Elysia, but to Valkyrie, I have…nothing…" He tilted his head down to his skeletal hands.

Ghastly sighed. "Valkyrie is twenty five now. You've been through hell, war, and grief together. You were there for her, saving her life so many thousands of times. You were holding her when she found her parents. You grounded her to reality when Darquess was driving her mad. You brought her back to herself so many times. I've seen how she looks at you. Skul, do you remember the time when you got that magic virus?"

Skulduggery tilted his head in confusion and then made a noise of realization. "The one that threatened to dissolve the bond on my bones?"

Ghastly nodded. "She didn't rest until the cure was in her hands. She insisted on giving it to you personally. Do you honestly think that she cares what you are? That you're only a skeleton?" Ghastly shook his head in exasperation. "Tell her. Tomorrow night. That would be a good time."

Skulduggery looked at his friend. "Tomorrow night? What's going on tomorrow night?"

Ghastly muttered to himself about oblivious skeletons. "There's a ball going on. I've heard that Tanith and China are giving Val dancing lessons." He smiled. Skulduggery chuckled. "The theme is perfect for you two anyways."

Skulduggery sighed and then he raised his head. "What _is_ the theme this year?"

Ghastly got up and headed to the door. Only when he was halfway out of the room did he answer. "Beauty and the Beast." He bolted out of the room and was down the hall by the time Skullduggery was off his seat.

Skulduggery was about to participate in some rather destructive means of emotional venting…meaning he was going to break the furniture; however, Valkyrie walked in so he decided to exercise delayed gratification. He was going to break furniture after Valkyrie left.

"Skulduggery, what's going on here?" She could sense the build up of power from him.

He coughed. "Nothing. Nothing at all, Valkyrie."

She smiled. Skulduggery cleared his throat. "Um…" He cursed himself. Skulduggery Pleasant did not clear his throat. It was like saying Darquess giggled, or Lord Vile belched. It just didn't _happen_.

Valkyrie thought so too. She raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"I was wondering if you had a partner for the ball tomorrow night?"

She thought for a second. He felt like rolling his nonexistent eyes. Of course she didn't have a date. Everyone knew that Skulduggery would murder them in their sleep if they tried to ask her. She smiled.

"Nope."

He nodded. "I'm taking you." He had always bent blunt.

She laughed. "Okay. Pick me up at Gordon's house?"

"Of course. I shall pick you up at 7:30pm." She smiled at him.

"Perfect." She hugged him and walked out of the room. Skulduggery decided to allow the furniture to survive another day. He walked quickly after her. He needed to know what color tie he would have to wear. It was a fastidious event. He stopped when he heard giggling.

"How was it?" That was Tanith's voice. Skulduggery stepped quietly closer. They were around the corner.

"He actually cleared his throat!" Valkyrie? What in the world was she…ah…could it possibly be…? Skulduggery would have smirked if he had lips. He stepped closer and hid behind a statue.

"Interesting…it seems as if the great Skulduggery Pleasant is _nervous_." China was in on it too, huh? Skulduggery stifled a laugh. Those two matchmakers. Suddenly, Mr. Pleasant didn't feel so nervous about his feelings toward Miss Cain. She had enlisted those two thingamabobs, while he had enlisted Ghastly.

"What did I tell you, Val! It's a sure sign! He _likes_ you! He's nearing the breaking point!" Tanith whispered loudly. Skulduggery tried rolling his eye sockets. What was the use of whispering if you were going to do it loudly?

Valkyrie was obviously blushing. He could tell from her voice. "But, why? Why would he like me?"

China laughed. "I honestly don't know."

There was a smack and then a hiss. There was a small scuffle, which he could only assume that one girl was stopping another girl from having a fight with China. "Girls, quit it." Valkyrie's voice. Skulduggery nodded to himself. Tanith must have slapped China for the comment on Val.

"Ignore her, Val; she's just jealous about all this."

He heard China laugh mockingly. "Your accusations amuse me, Tanith. I got over Skul a long time ago."

Tanith spoke up again. "Anyway, this is perfect. I think you should confess to him at the ball tomorrow."

He heard China scoff. " _She_ confess? Dearest Tanith, you know nothing of proper romance. The man should take the lead and confess first."

Tanith scoffed at China. "Since when has Val gone second?"

China spoke. He could hear a smug smile in her voice. "Skulduggery Pleasant is not Fletcher Renn. He will not be led. He is the leader, in war or in romance. Better get used to it, darling. You will _not_ be wearing the pants in this relationship."

Skulduggery visualized himself biting his lip anxiously. What would Valkyrie say to that?

"I honestly don't mind that. I need a leader. I need a man, not a boy. Fletcher just didn't match me."

The air shifted, and Skulduggery realized that they were coming towards him. He invested two second for panicking. There was no place to hide! An idea came to him. He acted quickly.

Valkyrie, China, and Tanith turned the corner and walked arm in arm past all the historical exhibits. China glanced at one.

"I didn't realized that they added a human skeleton to the collection. It looks in good condition too." She tilted her head to one side.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and didn't even look. "China you are _not_ stealing a skeleton."

Tanith giggled. "Well, if she can't have Pleasant, she'll have any old skeleton."

China huffed and walked faster, leaving the two girls behind. Valkyrie rolled her eyes again and called out to China. Tanith ran after them both. Once they left the hall, Skulduggery put his clothes back on.

"I cannot believe I just got naked in front of the girl I love." He shook his head. "What bother's me is that she didn't even _recognize_ me." He huffed.


	2. Chapter II

Chapter II

Skulduggery smiled. He knew how to punish Valkyrie for being such a tease all this time to him. He had discovered, through Dexter's insane grape vine, that Valkyrie had known just how deep his affections for her went for at least two months. However, she failed to say anything about it. She must have been trying to coax him to admit it all this time! He leaned back in his office chair. He was in his den.

He remember vividly one time when Valkyrie had been an absolute, bloody tease…

 _It had been a month ago. She was staying over at his house because it had been too late to return home. Skulduggery was sitting in his meditation chair, reading a book._

 _Valkyrie was lounging on the couch. Her long legs splayed wildly. She had been watching him for some time. He was just about to comment on it when she spoke._

" _You can feel everything an alive human can feel, right?"_

 _He looked up at her. "Yes. Why do you ask?"_

 _She shrugged lazily. Even that little motion sent him mind spinning in a direction that ought to be left alone. She smiled. "You just look so…tense." She smiled at him some more._

 _He shrugged. "I may be, but there's nothing reading and meditating can't help."_

 _She frowned. "I wouldn't say that. I helped my father plenty of times whenever he was stressed."_

 _He tilted his head at her. "And just how did you help him, oh talented and marvelous one?"_

 _She grinned and got up. She moved with the hypnotic grace of one of her shadows. He would have gulped if he could. She was as graceful as a dancer. One of those dancers that he had always seen in the inns back during the war. They had been slaves from distant countries. They always danced with thin veils covering their bodies. He envisioned Val dressed like those women and almost groaned aloud. He had the build up of pleasure, but no release. He truly was a pathetic creature…_

 _Valkyrie had been talking this whole time. She frowned. "Skul? Skul!"_

" _Hmm? What?"_

 _She rolled her eyes. "I said, do you want me to massage you?" She didn't wait for a response. Slipping her hands onto his shoulders, she lightly grazed his clavicles. He almost whimpered when he felt her warmth seep into him. It had been so long since he had indulged in human companionship. There had been no reason to. No reason to crave flesh, both on him and in his bed. Until now…_

 _Her skilled hands worked steadily upward and started lightly grazing his skull with her nails. He leaned into her touch. She quickened her pace, rubbing in intoxicating circles. He almost fell into a meditative sleep right then._

Skulduggery shook himself from his dream. Valkyrie had only massaged him for a few minutes. He growled slightly. The build up of pleasure and arousal, the first physical pleasure he had felt in centuries, was on the very tip of explosion when Valkyrie backed away. She feigned sleepiness and a headache. A _headache!_ He growled to himself. Bloody tease…

Skulduggery chuckled darkly. He would get her back for that. He couldn't do anything to himself to get release. He tried. Many, many times after that. Nothing worked. She was the only one who could do it. Well, not _only_ her, but he wasn't willing to experiment with any other woman…that would be…slightly awkward.

Skulduggery shook his head and glanced at the clock. "I need to get ready." He had to pick Val up in an hour.

He put on a tuxedo and got into the Bentley. Driving there, he made plans on how he would get Valkyrie back. Something short and vicious. Enough to let her know that he wouldn't tolerate her teasing. He snickered. A part of him was waking up. A part of him that no one had seen since Skullduggery got his first wife. Only Ghastly knew how he had courted her. Only Ghastly knew how persuasive Pleasant could be when truly getting his way with women. He hadn't cultivated his voice to sound so smooth for just nothing!

Skulduggery gave in to a full blown laugh. He was going to enjoy tonight greatly!

He arrived at Gordon's house. Even though it belonged to Valkyrie, everyone always called it Gordon's house. Politely knocking on the front door, he thought back on another moment. He and Valkyrie were on a case. An explosion occurred and she landed on top of him. She had taken her sweet time getting off too, grinding up in all the right places. Skulduggery's right hand tightened. He glanced at the door. Maybe he should've gone through the window…

The door opened and Valkyrie Cain walked out. She looked even more beautiful than she had at the Requiem Ball. Her black dress was floor length. Black lace covered the red satin skirt underneath. The upper part of the dress was sleeveless. She was just putting on black lace gloves. He bowed and took her gloved hand.

"You look ravishing." He murmured lowly.

She blinked and then smiled. "You clean up nicely, yourself."

He chuckled. When he helped her into the car, his hand ever so slightly grazed her bottom. Hearing the quick intake, he pulled back and got inside.

The car ride there was filled with compliments from Skulduggery. He didn't over do it, but the ones he did give were simple and elegant. Spoken in such a way he knew Valkyrie loved. There was a blush on her cheeks when they got out.

The ball was designed with couches and chairs on the side of a main, oval room. A higher platform was where the musicians were playing. People were already dancing. Others were talking and laughing on the sidelines. There was a refreshment table as well.

Valkyrie gasped when she saw the decorations. She gave Skulduggery a sideways glance. "You didn't tell me that the theme was Beauty and the Beast." There was a walk-in castle covered in gargoyles. A beautiful painting had been down of Beauty kissing a transforming Beast. Other paintings were tastefully scattered throughout the room, depicting the story of Beauty and the Beast.

He shrugged. "Slip of the mind."

She huffed. "Nothing ever slips your mind."

He would have smiled. "Thank you. I do try."

She rolled her eyes. "That's not what-"

Dexter Vex walked up. "Skul! Val! Welcome! Welcome! Come on in! Don't want to miss the party in your honor!"

Valkyrie's gaze snapped from Skulduggery to him. "What?"

Dexter chuckled. "Beauty and the Beast. Valkyrie and Skulduggery."

She rolled her eyes. "Skulduggery's not the Beast. I don't like you joking about that. And if, by any chance, you're referring to _me_ being the beast, all I can say is that I hope you can run fast." She said it calmly, but there was a firmness in her voice and a glint in her eyes that made Dex obey.

"Sorry! Sorry. Yeah, was kind of stupid joke." He grinned awkwardly. Skullduggery shook his head and patted Dex's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. I _was_ a beast. I suppose Valkyrie came in and changed me, so that _does_ make her Beauty."

Val blushed slightly and turned away. Skulduggery moved up behind her. "Dance with me?" He whispered. She shuddered with obvious delight at the close proximity of his body and glanced at him. He could help but tilt his head smugly.

She smirked in return. "I would love to dance with you, Mr. Pleasant."

They said goodbye to Dex who muttered something about Valduggery.

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow as Skul led her out on to the dance floor. There was a waltz playing. "Any idea what that was about?"

Skulduggery shook his head. "I only noticed that it had our names in it. I'm confused at the reasoning behind it."

Valkyrie smiled and shook her head. "I'll ask Tanith about it."

Skul tilted his head in a smile. Valkyrie stepped away from him and then moved back to him. He resituated his hands. She was acutely aware of how low his left hand truly was. Skulduggery kept his head straight with no indication of his mood, which was smug by the way. The blush hadn't left her cheeks since the Bentley.

 **Thank you for the reviews! I hope you enjoy this story as much I as I enjoyed writing it. Again, from next chapter onward, there will be moments where some readers might get uncomfortable. I hope that won't deter your ability to enjoy it. I'll try to give warning or water it down, if it gets too much. Feel free to tell me, but please keep your comments polite. = )**

 **Thanks!**

 **Ink…**


	3. Chapter III

**The latter part of this chapter is where some readers would begin to feel uncomfortable. Adult T, just to remind you.**

Chapter Three

They had danced three dances in a row. People had stopped by them, commenting on how they were such a nice couple, or giving not-so-subtle jabs at them about the theme.

Valkyrie loved dancing with Skulduggery. He was a brilliant dancer, graceful and talented. He also kept her entertained. Skulduggery kept speaking in her ear about the music, her dancing, and how everyone else was dancing, about certain mages' taste in clothes or lack thereof. He had her giggling from his constant commentary on how people were dancing.

"That lady over there, the one with the white dress, most definitely received her lessons from elephants." Valkyrie held her breath to keep from snorting. The funniest thing was it was true. The woman was thumping and jumping around madly.

Skulduggery tilted his head. "My apologies. I was mistaken. Not elephants, kangaroos." Valkyrie moved closer to him and giggled softly.

"Ah…I see another talented dancer."

"Who?"

"A certain Dexter Vex, dear Valkyrie." Her head whipped to where Dex was dancing.

"Actually, I wouldn't say he was dancing."

She raised an eyebrow. They glanced at Dexter moving along with a random woman.

"No, he's groping to the music."

Valkyrie had to bury her face into Skulduggery's jacket to keep from embarrassing herself. Even still, some people gave her concerned glances. Snorting with laughter sounded an awful lot like crying.

Her eyes were shining when she came up for air. Skulduggery decided to get serious with the music. He pulled her closer, slipping her face against his. She hummed along with the tune of the waltz.

Skul smiled. She was relaxed enough. Time to spring it on her.

"Valkyrie?"

"Hmm?" She didn't lift her head.

Skul whispered in her ear. "I need to tell you this. It's very important." She lifted her head and stared at him seriously.

"What is it?"

He looked down. "I haven't said this, or done this, since my first wife died, but...would you-" He cut himself off and pulled Valkyrie off the dance floor and into a small alcove. She looked extremely eager. "I…"

"Yes, Skul?" Her eyes were shining.

Skulduggery was, for once, glad of his lack of facial expressions. "Valkyrie, you are, by far, the closest person I have to me. Ghastly is best friend, but you, you are almost…" He paused, knowing this would either cause her to cry or to blow up. Probably cry. He second guessed and then went with it.

"Almost like a sister to me." She froze. Her eyes were wide, but her mouth was snapped shut. There was a certain air of disbelief in her eyes. He snickered. She froze even more. The disbelief turned into confusion and then quick to suspicion. Her face flushed with anger. Slowly she lifted her head to look him straight in the socket. He continued to snicker.

"Your face was the most contorted…I honestly think it turned the cutest shade of pink." He shook his head with amusement. She glared at him and then prepared to storm off. Blow up then… He clucked and grabbed her arms. He pulled her back to rest against his chest.

"Easy there." He manipulated wind to tickle her ear as if it were his breath. She quickened her own breath at the sensation. Pulling her tightly against him, he slipped his gloved hands along her torso. "Don't go off on a huff, Valkyrie Cain. I was only participating in a bit of revenge."

"F-for what?" She didn't turn her head to look at him. She was blushing too deeply to let him see, but he could see it all the same.

He would have given all his magic to be human right then. The quiver in her voice almost made him go undone.

"Massaging me? Grinding up against me? Walking directly out of my shower into the living room, wearing only one of _my_ shirts with those _lace_ underwear?!"

She giggled at that one. "China's idea."

"I guessed as much." He grazed his teeth against her neck. She breathed faster. "I wish I could... I would give anything to be able to be human again. I hadn't given it much thought before, no need to. What would be would be and such, but now I have a _reason_ to crave flesh."

Valkyrie sighed and leaned into him. "Skulduggery, I find you attractive without skin anyway. After all," her voice had a seductive note to it. "I'm sure someone as _inventive_ as you could find some way to go about things…" He growled quietly at that. His hands massaging Valkyrie's torso. She arched and gasped.

He wished he had a tongue so he could taste her. He stiffened as a thought came to him. Before Valkyrie could ask what was wrong, he spoke. His velvet voice slithering into her ears.

"I wish I had a tongue to taste you. I'd swipe it along your neck, down your spine." He grazed his teeth where he would place his tongue. "And when we kiss, I'd taste every single millimeter of your mouth. Battling against you in a oral war of wills. I'd win obviously, and then I would taste you. Taste every flavor that is Valkyrie Cain." He massaged her chest gently. She moaned his name. His nonexistent breath quickened.

"I love you, Valkyrie Cain. I'll love you till the end."

She leaned into him. "I love you too. I love all of you. In fact," her eyes sparkled with sexual intensity. "I'm going to kiss and lick every single bone you have."

Skulduggery shuddered at the ghost sensations he imagined that would bring. He suddenly realized that they were in a room with hundreds of people. He growled. "Let's get out of here."

She swipe her tongue along his teeth. "Yesss…lets."


	4. Chapter IV

Chapter IV

Valkyrie stretched on her bed and smiled at the meditating Skulduggery. He was relaxing on a chair in her room in his house. Last night had been absolute _heaven_. She looked around for her dress. Skulduggery had personally, and delicately removed it from her. It had been excruciatingly pleasurable. She saw it hanging in the open closet. Moving quietly she started to reach for it when she got an idea. She grinned and grabbed one of Skulduggery's shirts. It was long on her and reached just past her bottom. She slipped onto Skul's lap.

"Skul? Wake up. Time to face another day." She kissed him lightly on his jaw.

He stirred and turned to face her. She smiled. He took her in and then tilted his head in confusion. "Isn't that my shirt."

"Hmm? Oh, yes it is. I didn't want to put on the dress and possibly spoil it. I also didn't have anything else to wear…" she kissed his jaw again. "Hope you don't mind, love."

"Mind? You are heretofore forbidden from wearing anything _but_ that."

She laughed. She honestly hadn't felt this light in years. She could only imagine what Skulduggery was feeling. He told her last night that had been his first orgasm since he was flesh. His voice had held awe.

"What would Ghastly say about that? All that work he's put into my clothes…"

Skulduggery chuckled.

She squirmed on his lap in excitement. He grunted slightly. Even if he didn't have the flesh, the ghost sensations were still there. She smirked and spoke. "Tanith is going to squeal like a school girl when she finds out."

Skulduggery started laughing. He held Valkyrie close. She curled up on his lap. He could feel the smoothness of her bare skin on him. He felt himself shudder. _Later. Love later. Talk now._

"I'm going to have to speak with Gordon."

Valkyrie stilled and then chuckled. "He'll love that. He's always loved that fact that you treat him like a human. A real human."

"If I didn't, I would be denying my own humanity."

She looked at him. "You are a human Skul. Never doubt that. Never."

He chuckled. "I'm not doubting that _now._ You make me feel alive in ways I didn't know I came back with."

She laughed. "I guess I've inherited your ability to do things that have never been done before."

He tilted his head in a smile. She laughed lightly and kissed him repeatedly. "I've always wanted to do this. I've always wanted to know how it felt to be held by you."

He tightened his hold. "Valkyrie, you need to understand that I'm relatively rusty at romance-"

She scoffed. "You were doing alright last night, buddy."

He chuckled. "I'm talking about the rules of romance."

"Ah."

He cleared his throat. "I'm very serious about my love. By serious, I mean, I am not interested in just _living_ with you. I want you to…to be my wife."

She stared at him. He held his nonexistent breath. She squealed and hugged him.

"Skulduggery! Yes! I want to be you fiancé. I want to be your wife. I want to be your partner in more than just crime."

He felt like the world had been lifted from him. He scooped her up and twirled her around the room. He allowed the laughter to bubble up. He had never felt so free. The burden of his memories, the guilt of his crimes, the grief of the deaths he has seen all were eating away, chaining him to the wall of his agony one link at a time. Then along came Valkyrie Cain. She unlocked him from those chains and taught him how to be human again.

"I will love you to the end." He kissed her as best as he could. She didn't mind in the least.

 **Gordon's House**

Skulduggery pulled at his tie as they walked up to the house. Valkyrie laughed. "Honestly, why are you so afraid? He trusts you more than anyone else!"

Skulduggery nodded. "I know that. I'm just…I don't like being vulnerable."

She nodded in understanding. "I completely agree. I don't like being vulnerable either, but we've got to learn to do that with each other."

He tilted his head in a smile. "Miss Cain, I do believe I love you."

She laughed as she opened the front door. "Mr. Pleasant, I love you more than life itself." She was smiling lightly, but her eyes betrayed her seriousness. She would never survive if he were to leave her. If his soul was somehow destroyed, she would reap vengeance and then end her life. He knew that she was thinking this, so, pulling her close to him, he hugged her from behind.

"I have survived 400 years, Miss Cain. I will survive 400 more."

She smiled. Her eyes were slightly misty. "After all, Mr. Pleasant, you are too clever to die."

He kissed her. "And you, are too pretty."

They continued up the stairs until they reached the study. She opened the secret room and they entered.

Gordon had the recorder turn off. "Well now! Both of you come to call? Is there another end of the world?"

Val laughed. "No, the beginning of one."

Skulduggery shook his head. "Cheesy. Very Cheesy."

She punched him. "Oh shut up."

He chuckled and slipped an arm around her waist. Gordon saw this and smiled. "Ah…well, you have my blessing." He adopted a stern pose. "Treat her well, Skulduggery Pleasant! You will have me to face!" He smiled. "I think you two are a very adorable pair." He nodded matter-of-factly. "Yes, very adorable." He honestly didn't care about the age gap, or the little issue of him being a skeleton. Skulduggery Pleasant was the best thing that happened to Valkyrie, and Valkyrie was the best thing that happened to Skulduggery. They needed each other.

Skulduggery laughed. Valkyrie blushed.


	5. Chapter V

**Adult T**

Chapter V

Tanith and China smiled, no, beamed at Valkyrie. Tanith squealed like a school girl and hugged Val tightly.

"I hope you have all the happiness in the world!"

China smirked. "I hope you have the biggest libido of the world."

Valkyrie froze. Her smile still on her face. Her eyes were wide. "Huh?!"

China snickered. "Think on it. Skulduggery hasn't had female companionship in roughly 300 years…"

Tanith started laughing. "You are going to be dead tired!"

China chuckled. "He can't get worn out, either."

Valkyrie paled. "Fuck."

"Exactly, dear." China stood up and walked to the door. "Now, get out. I have some reading to do."

Tanith stood up and headed for the window. She glanced out and then looked back into the room to smirk at Valkyrie. "He's here."

Valkyrie stood up. She turned to face her friends. "If that's how he wants it, I should be complimented instead of uneasy. After all, he's exceptionally good at what he does!" She winked at a gagging Tanith and an amused China.

Walking up to the Bentley she barely had time to react when he pulled her to him and kissed her. She like kissing his real face more, but the façade was an interesting change. She tapped his collarbone and his skull appeared.

"I want to kiss _you_."

He held her tighter and started nibbling at all her exposed skin. "Sk-Skul-Skuldugger, w-wait. No-not in p-public!"

He pulled back. "Yes in public. The world has been deprived of witnessing my romantic capabilities for long enough!"

She laughed. "It will never grow tired of witnessing the staggering size of your ego."

He tilted his in a smile. She kissed him gently on the teeth. She loved every single bone in his body. She loved every little thing that made up Skulduggery Pleasant.

She arched when she felt his hands slip up her blouse. Her eyes immediately found China's window. "Tanith and China are watching." She whispered.

"Let them wet themselves in envy." Was his only reply. She moaned when he massaged her torso and chest.

"Skulduggery….oh…AH!"

He didn't stop until she was exhausted and spent. She slumped into his arms. He, himself, had experienced a brilliant explosion of pleasure just by seeing her enjoy his…affection. He was still tingling with it as he drove them to Gordon's house. He carried her inside and set her on her bed. She grabbed him suddenly and yanked his tie off.

"You are wearing far too many clothes for my taste, Mr. Pleasant." He chuckled.

"You get back on your feet quickly, don't you?"

She smiled at him. "What can I say? I have _stamina_." He moaned as she started kissing him all over.

 **Two Weeks of Smut Later…**

Valkyrie sighed and stared at a meditating skeleton. She never got tired of having him hold her. China had been right. Every time they were together, in public or in private, Skul had to at _least_ maintain physical contact. In public, his arm was around her waist, or he was holding her hand, or he had his hand on her thigh, while sitting of course. In private, he worshipped every inch of her skin. They had set the date for their engagement party and their marriage ceremony. The engagement would be next month.

She shifted and then winced. Tanith said she would be tired. No one had ever mentioned how _sore_ she would be. Skulduggery continually surprised her by bringing home little toys to amplify things he was incapable of providing. At first she had refused, saying that he was enough, but he explained that he got off just from watching her in pleasure. She eventually gave in.

She felt Skulduggery stir. _Uh-oh…_ She wasn't ready for more affection just yet. She slipped off the bed and hobbled off to take a shower. Heat would help.

Skulduggery woke up completely five minutes after the shower started. He scanned the room before the sound of water registered in his mind. _Ah…_

He stood up and started dressing himself. If he had his way, Valkyrie would never wear clothes again. Even if he wasn't touching her, he couldn't help but just stare at her beauty. He chuckled and went to the kitchen. She would be hungry.

Valkyrie smiled. The smell of bacon and eggs wafted through the house, from the kitchen, and into her room. She raised an eyebrow. Throwing on a negligee that Skul bought for her, she wandered down to the kitchen.

"It's interesting that the smell of bacon is only in my room but no where else in the house…is someone participating in air manipulation, Mr. Pleasant?"

He laughed and turned to speak with her but froze. Oh yes, this had been the first time she had worn it. She smiled and twisted around. "Like?"

He set down the skillet, turned the fire off, and stalked over to her. "Very much…" He practically purred. She laughed and skipped out of his grasp.

"I'm the prize, but you've got to work for me." She pranced out of the room, and he chased after her. She laughed and dodged his hand.

Kicking off her slippers and hiking up her dress, she raced up the stairs. She passed a full length mirror and paused for a second to admire the negligee. Black lace in flower patterns was sewn over the top of the dress and tapered down into the skirt part. The cream colored chiffon cloth hugged her torso and then became loose at the hips down. The cream cloth covered her breasts, but the V cut dipped all the way to her navel. Black lace covered the bare skin that the V showed off. There were lace sleeves that fell off her shoulders. The negligee was backless and dipped down to her hips.

She started running again when she heard Skulduggery almost upon her. He cursed and chased her again. She laughed and fled down the carpeted hall. Her bare feet almost invisible beneath the skirt. He finally pinned her in the study. She circled around the desk. He watched her carefully in case she might spring for the door. Leaping directly over the desk, she tried to escape, but he moved up fast and caught her while she was still in the air. She laughed.

"You've caught me. Do with me as you like, my captor!"

He chuckled and nuzzled her neck. "Why, Miss Cain, I take offense to that. The word 'caught' gives the connotation that you are here against your will."

She winked at him and smiled seductively. "Am I?"

He chuckled. His voice was rough. "You weren't of that mind last night, dearest."

She blushed deeply.

He pulled back. "We need to plan the party. Things need to be decided."

Valkyrie sighed and nodded. "But breakfast first, please?" She was not ashamed to pout.

He laughed. "Of course." Carrying her downstairs, they proceeded to eat breakfast. Once they left the room, Echo-Gordon appeared and shook his head in amusement. They truly did act like newlyweds. Young newlyweds at that.


	6. Chapter VI

Chapter VI

"So, are we having a theme for the party?" He asked. Valkyrie sighed.

"I have an idea, but I don't like it, so never mind."

He tilted his head. "Beauty and the Beast?"

She groaned. "In our case it would the Psychopath and the Skeleton."

He chuckled. "I think Beauty and the Beast is a very apt analogy for us. We'll have that as a theme."

Valkyrie sat up. "Costume party! Everyone has to dress up as a Disney character!"

He thought about it and tilted his head to one side.

She pleaded with him. "Please…"

He laughed. "Very well. However, as host, I am retaining the right to dress in a tux."

She smiled. "Fine. Suit yourself. Chicken."

"Valkyrie, I am not a chicken."

"Yes you are. You're afraid of dressing up."

He shook his head in mock exasperation. "Look at my face. I am being perfectly serious. I thought I told you that this was my serious face."

She couldn't help it. She started laughing. "Dress as you like, love." She kissed him gently.

He sighed and pulled her up to him. They were sitting on a couch. She was still dressed in the negligee. Skullduggery hadn't let her change. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Guests?"

"This isn't a Sanctuary event, so I would say just our friends."

Valkyrie smiled. "Lucky we don't have to invite our enemies. The house would be packed to the brim."

He chuckled. She mused. "So…obviously the Dead Men, which are five, Tanith and Fletcher is two…" She glanced at Skullduggery. "Is it okay if Fletch comes?"

"Of course. I don't feel threatened by him in the slightest."

She laughed, then she became grim. "What of China?"

Skulduggery stilled. "That's a bit ironic, don't you think? Inviting the woman who killed my first wife to my engagement of my second wife?"

She could have sworn she heard a raised eyebrow in that tone of voice. She shook her head sadly.

"We can't keep things against everyone. What she did was wrong, yes, but our own actions have created widows and widowers as well."

Skulduggery nodded. "I know. I just can't…" He shook his head in despondency.

Valkyrie put her hand on his cheek bone. "She's not going to make a habit of it, love."

Skulduggery sighed and nodded. "I'll think about it."

She kissed him. That was the best she could hope for. "Okay, what about Wreath."

Skulduggery growled. "Keep him out in the cold."

"Skul!"

He shook his head. "He's not coming."

She sighed and huffed. "Fine. At least tell me why."

Skullduggery stared at her. "Ever since you began training with him, he has been pushing you to revert to Necromancy. He's even tried to split us up!"

She gaped at him. "What?!"

He sighed. "I found out only a few months ago that he had once approached Erskin and tried to get us split. He came with legal documents explaining how I broke the law all those years ago by taking and training a minor. He tried to get _me_ dishonored, and _you_ transferred to the Temple."

Valkyrie stared at him for a whole minute. She picked up the pad and the pencil and firmly crossed through Wreath's name. "Next...all our Sanctuary friends." She wrote down the names.

Skulduggery stopped groping Val and focused on her. "How many do we have?"

"At least twenty." She twisted around on his lap. "That enough?"

He slipped his hands up her skirt. "That's plenty."

She nodded. Setting down the pad of paper and the pencil with care, she turned to the man who was feeling her up.

She straddled him, causing her skirt to bunch up at her hips. He hummed happily as she started kissing him.

In between kisses, he spoke to her. "Valkyrie…the party…should be set…for…seven…on the…twenty first…of July."

She nodded. "Then…dinner…at eight…good?"

"Perfect."

 **July 10** **th**

Skulduggery left the house and drove away in his Bentley. Valkyrie had banished him when he started kissing her while she was talking to Ghastly about her costume.

He stopped at a red light and re-read the list. "Talk to Edibles Catering Service, order twenty crates of long taper candles, and send out the invites." He sighed and pocketed the list. "First things first. Visit China."

He drove to her new library. It was larger than the last one. China had been very busy with finding replacements for her collection. He entered the library and walked straight up to China's apartment. He felt awkward doing this without Valkyrie, but he wanted to see if it were possible before getting her hopes up."

China opened the door. She hid her surprise very well. He pretended not to notice how her hand hovered over a symbol on her body. "Come in." She sat down after he did. "What brings you to my humble abode?"

He glanced around. The apartments were even more spacious and elegant than the last ones. She laughed.

He spoke. "I've heard a rumor about how far a magic can go to bring back the dead."

China froze. She stared at Skulduggery. "Why?"

"I want to be human again."

China breathed a sigh of relief. "It is not like me to jump to conclusions. I must not be well."

Skullduggery tilted his head in the equivalent of raising an eyebrow. "What did you think?"

"I don't want to say." She put down her cup. "I think I have a book that might interest you. It's about magic concerning the human body. I had just found it recently. A mage was kind enough to let me have it…" She flashed him a smile, trying to lighten up the mood. She led him to a cooler room, where she kept all the really old tomes. Lifting one up, gently, she flipped the pages and came to a part about reanimating the dead.

"Yes…it says here that it's possible to restore worldly flesh and muscle."

He stepped closer. "How?"

She read further, lifted one eyebrow, and lowered the book. "Winning a wizard to your side and offering a deal." She sighed and handed the book to him gently. "Meaning, it's hopeless."

Skulduggery read it himself and closed the book. Giving it back to her, he sat down and put his head in his hands.

China looked at him. There was sadness in her eyes. "I'll keep looking. It's…the least I can do…"

He stood up, thanked her numbly, and left the apartment. He finished all his tasks in a daze. Forcing himself to snap out of it when he returned to Gordon's house, he tilted his head in a smile when Val opened the door.


	7. Chapter VII

Chapter VII

Valkyrie led Skul to the living room. She pushed him down and sat on his lap. "Tell me what's wrong."

He leaned his head back in resignation. "You are the only bloody human being who can read me so bloody well. Not even when I had flesh could someone read me so well!"

She laughed. "I'm Valkyrie Cain. You shouldn't be surprised. Now tell me what's wrong."

He shook his head. "I went to China's today. I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to change this." He gestured to himself.

Valkyrie bit her lip. "Is there?"

"Short of making a deal with a wizard? No."

She sighed. Wizards hated Skulduggery. Something he did about a century ago, made him their mortal enemy. It was something trivial…like killing the man they wanted as their leader.

"Skulduggery, I'm…sorry." She twisted in his lap to face him proper. "You shouldn't feel pressured to find flesh again. I'm quite happy with how you are now." She smiled at him.

Skul shook his head. "How do you do that?"

Cocking her head, she raised an eyebrow. He laughed. "Make me feel human already."

She laughed. "I'm Valkyrie Cain, love. Soon to be Mrs. Valkyrie Cain Pleasant."

He chuckled and held her tighter. "I've been thinking of making a new crest."

Valkyrie stared at him. "What?"

He tilted his head in a smile. "What do you think our crest should be?"

Valkyrie thought for a minute and then snickered. "Skull and Crossed Bones?"

He threatened to push her off his lap. She squealed and held on tighter. "I'm being serious."

Valkyrie sighed. "Fine…something that symbolizes what we are…" Her eyes lit up. "Sparrow flying south!"

Skulduggery tilted his head in thought. "Sparrows flying south…make the birds black on a white field. Represents winter and snow…"

Valkyrie laughed and kissed him. "We can have small pictures on the four corners. One a skull, the other a hat, another will be a ring, and the last one a car."

Skulduggery chuckled. "No."

Valkyrie pouted.

"Just the sparrows flying southward on a white field. Elegant in its simplicity."

Valkyrie sighed. "Please have one of the sparrows carrying a hat…"

He sighed. "Very well. The lead sparrow will be holding a hat in it's claws."

She smiled and snuggled closer to him. "Darling?"

"Hmm?"

"Erskine wants to make our engagement party a Sanctuary event."

Skulduggery stiffened. "Oh he does, does he?" She scrambled off him as he got up and took out his phone…and proceeded to give Erskine a lecture about privacy and 'bloody boundaries that shouldn't be crossed'.

Valkyrie clapped her hands. "Perfect! That's giving him a piece of your mind!"

He nodded and then froze. "Was that…? Did you just…?" The impish grin on her face gave him all the answer he needed. He launched himself at her. She screamed and jumped off the couch. He prowled closer to her, moving around the couch slowly.

"Valkyrie Cain, I told you the next time you make an anatomy pun, I was going to spank you. COME HERE!"

"NEVERRRRRRRR!" She bolted to the left and fled up the stairs. She ran into one of the bedrooms, locking the door. She gasped for breath and then opened the window and climbed out. Briefly she heard the door busting open. _He kills more doors that way._ She climbed to the roof.

She heard him curse. She new he was going to fly after her. Reaching the roof, Valkyrie ran across the slanted shingles like a cat. She sensed, rather than heard, Skulduggery reach out and try to grab her with the air. She gathered her shadows and traveled to Gordon's secret study. She panted for breath, thanking her lucky stars that she was the type of magic that could do both elemental and necromancy. Gordon looked at her curiously.

"Is something the matter?"

She shook her head and giggled. "I made an anatomy joke again. He wants to spank me." She realized the door was slowly opening. She screamed and tried to travel, but Skullduggery grabbed her and pulled her over to the desk.

"Skulduggery! Please! No! Stop! Please!"

He pulled her onto his lap and started smacking her rear. Smack! "You" Smack! "brought" Smack! "this" Smack! "on" Smack! "yourself!" Smack! He spanked her two more times, before he let her go. She sprang away from him angrily, blushing deep crimson and rubbing her bottom.

She spluttered. "Never! I've never been spanked before! H-ho-how _dare_ you!"

Skulduggery started laughing insanely. "I'm going to be your husband. I _dare_ to!"

She suddenly stopped looking angry. "I like hearing you say that."

He turned to look at her, cocking his head in curiosity. "Say what?"

She moved toward him. "You're going to my husband. I'm going to be your wife." He tilted his head in a smile and pulled her gently to him. She kissed him along his jaw.

Gordon cleared his throat. They pulled away grudgingly. "Children…" He muttered.

Skulduggery snickered. "Gordon, I'm 478 years old."

Gordon looked proud. "I'm dead. That means I'm older in maturity level."

Valkyrie cleared her throat. "You're talking to a skeleton, Uncle."

Gordon looked somewhat flustered at that. Skulduggery just laughed and pulled Valkyrie out of the room. "Let's leave him alone to pout."

"I AM NOT POUTING!"

They just laughed and walked downstairs again. Valkyrie stopped to straighten her clothes. "I'm going to Tanith's."

He nodded and went to his case files. "We might have another case coming up. I'm not sure if Erskine will give it to me after that lecture though."

Valkyrie laughed. "What's the crime?" She put her hair in a ponytail.

"Murder."

"How nice." She smiled happily. She always like a good murder. It livened things up.

"Isn't it?" She could hear a smirk in his voice.

"How many dead?" She walked to the closet to grab her boots.

"Only one so far."

She pouted. "Boring."

"I'm quite sure it wasn't boring for the victim." He said dryly.

Valkyrie laughed and slipped her indoor shoes off and her boots on.

"Give me a ring if you want me home sooner. I'll be at Tanith's for a while. Okay?"

Skulduggery looked up then. His posture was confusing. It looked at if he was relaxed, and yet, he looked disheartened.

She frowned. "What's wrong?"

He straightened. "Nothing." She walked to him.

"Darling…"

He sighed. "I'm just…the closer we get to our marriage day, the more uneasy I feel about letting you go off alone."

Valkyrie smiled. "Skul, this isn't wartime. I've been pardoned, and so have you. No governments are going to be out hunting me. No villains will be able to hurt me. All the _real_ villains are in jail now. I'll be fine." She kissed him on his jaw. He pulled her to him and they shared a lips/teeth kiss.

"I love you."

She threaded her put her hands behind his neck and threaded her fingers. "I know you do. I love you as well. Everything will be fine, Skul. _Everything_ will be fine."

He nodded and released his hold on her waist. She smiled and ducked out the door. However, she popped her head back to say one last thing. "Skul?"

"Hmm?" He looked up at her from where he was sitting. "Yes?"

"Sorry to have gotten under your skin earlier." She ran to her car, laughing. He shook his head and chuckled.

He smiled to himself. "Still the girl who stole my hat."


	8. Chapter VIII

Chapter VIII

 **July 21** **st** **, 5:00 PM – Gordon's house**

Valkyrie was running around the house like her head was chopped off. Skulduggery was trying to tie his tie. For some reason the cursed thing wasn't working. He ripped it off and set it on fire. He did it right beside the window so the fire alarm wouldn't go off. Valkyrie walked in and saw him burning his tie.

"What'd the tie do to you?"

"Attempted to assassinate me by strangulation."

"Ah. Come here." She grabbed another tie and started tying it around his collar. She did it perfectly. He cocked his head in the equivalent of raising an eyebrow.

She chuckled. "Mom used to do this for Dad all the time. I started helping when she was too busy getting ready herself." Valkyrie's eyes became distant. She looked down at her hands. Skulduggery quickly pulled her to him.

"Shh…remember the good times. Don't dwell on something you can't change. They wouldn't want you to."

She shook her head. "I wish I had come home sooner. I wish I had been there to _stop_ those bastards."

Skulduggery held her tightly, just like he did when she called him from her parents house two years ago. Seven year old Alice was over at a friends house when the men came looking for revenge on what they deemed Darquesse's family. Valkyrie came home to find her parents dead, murdered. Skulduggery helped her hunt them down.

"It's over. Their dead. You found closure. It's done. Don't looked back on it."

She nodded and sniffled. Pulling away from him she looked at him up and down. "You look good." She tried to smile.

He eyed her. "You look better."

She laughed and shook her head.

He tried to bring levity back to the situation. "You should wear that for the party. It's my favorite."

She raised an eyebrow and looked at herself in the mirror. "This?! It's a _nightgown_!"

He chuckled and pulled her back to his chest. "That's why it's my favorite." She laughed.

"Oh you!" Valkyrie pulled away. Sitting at the vanity, she started putting on makeup. "Skul?"

"Yes love?" Skul sat on the bed and started tying his shoes.

"We've never really talked about it. Are you moving into Gordon's house, once we marry? Or am I moving in with you?"

He finished tying his shoes. "Considering that almost all my clothes are here, I would suppose that I'm moving here. Unless Gordon minds."

She laughed. "He won't. I can contact Gordon's lawyer in the morning."

He looked over at her. "What for?"

She laughed. "Putting the house in your name, silly. Also, I need to make a will. I haven't done that, and I think I should."

He sighed. "Will writing is a depressing thing."

She smiled. "That's why everyone wants to put it off. It makes them think of death. Makes them feel mortal."

He shook his head. "We'll talk to the lawyer person. I suppose I should make a will as well."

She smiled and turned back to her vanity. She raised a bottle of perfume. "Is this one better?"

"Oh ha ha. Pick on the person who can't smell anything."

She giggled and moved back to her vanity.

Skulduggery stilled for a second. He tried to ask as casually as possible, "Val, what does you shampoo smell like?"

"Strawberries." She continued putting her makeup on. "I never found out, is China coming?" She looked over at him through the reflection of her mirror. Smirking she said, "Or actually I should call her Elder Sorrows. She's doing a better job at it than Mist ever did."

Skulduggery stopped trying to remember what strawberries smelled like and focused on Valkyrie's question. "Yes. She is coming."

Val smiled and nodded. She glanced at the clock. It was 6:30 PM. "Damn it, time's gotten away from me." She rushed the rest of her makeup and turned to Skulduggery. "How do I look?"

"Perfect." She smiled.

"I shouldn't have asked someone so biased." He chuckled. His fingers clicked. That was a hand signal that made up to let her know he was winking. She laughed and kissed him. The kiss was about to deepen when Skulduggery's phone went off. Skul growled.

"I will eviscerate that person." Valkyrie started laughing.

Skulduggery answered and growled again. "Yes!"

His posture changed. "What is it, China?"

Valkyrie immediately when to his side. She heard China's faint voice.

"…found…another way for you…flesh…"

Skulduggery spoke. "What is it?"

"…bring tonight…owe…big time…"

Skulduggery chuckled. "Yes China, I'll pay you back somehow." China said something else, and he laughed even harder. "I'll pay for the book case too. Valkyrie is still sorry for that….good bye."

Valkyrie smirked. "You fibbed."

He cocked his head at her in an affronted manner. "I always tell the truth."

She raised a dubious eyebrow.

He chuckled. "Very well, I very often tell the truth."

Her eyebrow was still raised.

He sighed. "Often."

Another eyebrow joined the first.

"Seldom." He lowered his head.

Valkyrie nodded and went back to getting ready. She went to her walk in closet and stared at her clothes. There were all black.

"Skul?"

He walked over to her. "Yes?"

"How traditional are you?"

He glanced at the clothes and chuckled. "No, Valkyrie, you are not wearing a black wedding dress."

She pouted but then smiled. "I guess I'll just have to try white for one day."

He chuckled again and glanced at his watch. "Better get ready faster. The first guests will be arriving in thirty minutes."

She nodded and grabbed a cream dress with gold trim. There were multiple layers of soft white charmeuse under the main outer cloth. Skulduggery made an approving noise. She was wearing a dressed fashioned like the one Pocahontas wore.

He helped her fit inside it. She blushed slightly, still not used to how his hands felt along her skin. She couldn't wait till they were married. It seemed to solidify and cement the reality that they were together. She smiled at Skulduggery.

He had taken over her wardrobe since they had gotten together. While all her clothes were primarily black, he had taken the liberty of introducing other colors into the black to offset the mono-color of her wardrobe. Ghastly had made everything for her. Not as invincible as her work clothes, but still they were bullet proof and fireproof. She grabbed her high heels right when the doorbell rang.


	9. Chapter IX

Chapter IX

Skulduggery glanced at his watch. "Probably Ghastly. He always comes early to these sorts of things."

Valkyrie put a hand on Skullduggery's arm. "What do you mean 'to these sorts of things'?"

Skullduggery cocked his head at her. "Parties. He comes early and leaves early. That's the way he is. What did you suspect I meant?"

Valkyrie put on a smile. "Nothing, I'm just being stupid. Go answer the door. I'm almost finished."

"Alright." He kissed her cheek and left the room. She heaved a shuddering sigh. _What is the matter with me?!_ She knew what the matter with her was. She was starting to have nightmares again. Not Darquesse this time. Something much worse actually. She was having nightmares of some woman; Valkyrie has never seen her face. The woman was beating Valkyrie to death with elemental magic. Skulduggery was just standing there watching, doing nothing. Valkyrie had tried using her own peculiar light magic and the necromancy magic that she still had but nothing worked on the woman.

Valkyrie clutched her stomach and felt ill. She pulled herself together forcibly. She shook her head. "He loves me. He loves me. He loves _me._ " She murmured quietly. Walking out of her room, she plastered a smile on her face. It was _her_ engagement party. _She_ was the future Mrs. Cain-Pleasant.

Another group of guests were just coming in. Valkyrie quickly started playing hostess. China gushed about her dress and Tanith joined in. Crystal had also been invited. Her parents thought she was going over to spend the night with someone.

"Val! You look _stunning_!" Val hugged Crystal. They had come closer after Crystal found out about her sister's death. Crystal had also grown into a beautiful young woman. Her hair was grown longer. She had lost a lot of weight, though not by her choice. Her grief had hurt her physically more than anyone had anticipated. She had also dumped that sorry excuse for a boyfriend long ago. Crystal was wearing a blue Princess Aurora dress.

Tanith rushed over to Val and started complimenting her on the decorations. Valkyrie laughed.

"I love your dress!"

Tanith grinned and twirled for Val. "Ghastly made it for me." She was wearing Rapunzel's dress.

Valkyrie laughed. "Of course. When are you two getting hitched?" She winked at Tanith. Valkyrie always asked this question.

Tanith grinned and whispered the answer. Valkyrie whooped and called Skul over. "Skul! Ghastly proposed to Tanith! They're getting married next month!"

Skul tilted his head in a smile. "I'm very happy for you Tanith. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into?"

She laughed and nodded. "I do." She caught sight of her new fiancé, waved to Skul and Val, and ran over to where Ghastly was and pulled him onto the dance floor.

Valkyrie saw Dexter Vex and burst out laughing. He was dressed as Flynn Rider. Dexter just gave her the 'smolder' and started talking to Skul. He started teasing Skulduggery about stealing his future bride away from the detective. "She's too pretty to go with you, you old man! She needs someone younger, like me!" He puffed out his chest.

Skulduggery laughed. "Vex, allow me to remind you that you are actually ten years older than I am."

Valkyrie chuckled. Fletcher teleported to the front door and Valkyrie hugged him. "Thanks for coming, Fletch." She looked embarrassed. Fletch laughed. His hair had toned down a little now.

"Skulduggery's good for you. He'll lead you, keep you in line. That's what you need." He smiled. "I don't feel angry at you." He looked at her sharply. "About _anything._ "

She let out a relieved sighed. "Thanks." She complimented him on his outfit. He had gone with the Gaston's outfit.

Erskine walked over to Valkyrie as the last guest entered and the music started playing. "May I have this dance?" He was in Prince Philip's attire.

Skulduggery swooped in. "It is customary for the fiancé to dance the first dance."

Erskine stared at him. "No it isn't!"

Skulduggery shrugged. "Somewhere in the world, I bet it is."

Valkyrie laughed and took Skulduggery's proffered hand. "I'll dance the second one with you."

Dexter spoke over Erskine. "I'll be looking forward to it!"

Erskine glared poisoned daggers at Dex, who started laughing.

From where they were dancing, Valkyrie could tell that everyone was having fun. China was speaking with Tanith about something until Ghastly shyly asked Tanith to dance another dance with him.

Valkyrie giggled. Skulduggery glanced down at her. "Yes?"

"Ghastly is so funny when he's nervous."

Skulduggery glanced around and saw Ghastly dancing with Tanith, or rather, attempting to dance. Tanith was trying hard not to laugh.

Skulduggery chuckled. Valkyrie glanced back at China, who was dressed as Princess Jasmine. She was talking with the Sanctuary Librarian. She whispered to Skul. He glanced over at China.

"It seems that China is still trying to re-collect the books she has lost for her own _personal_ library." His voice had a clear tone of amusement. The librarian was nodding earnestly.

"The librarian position will be available by next week." Valkyrie said. Her eyes were alight with amusement.

"Indeed." Skulduggery laughed. "And on a side note, I truly think China should have gone with Mulan instead."

Valkyrie chuckled and glanced around the room. It was a success so far. Crystal was dancing with Dexter. Heaven help her cousin, she looked as if she was in Paradise. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. Since when did her cousin learn how to dance? Val frowned. She really needed to stay in touch with her normal family. She was losing touch with the world that she had fought so hard to protect.

 **Hey guys, I hope you're enjoying this story.**

 **I need some feedback from you guys. What you like, what you don't like, encouragement, heads up about OOCness…I really want some feedback. I feel like I'm writing for nothing. I don't think anyone likes that feeling. I'm not going all soap opera on you guys. I understand that some people just honestly forget to review. But if you read a part made you chuckle or laugh outright, please, it would be encouraging to know. = )**

 **Thanks,**

 **Ink...**


	10. Chapter X

Chapter X

It went downhill, for Valkyrie at least, when Dexter and Erskine were talking with her about Skulduggery.

"We were in a German village, and that was where it happened."

Valkyrie looked at Dexter expectantly. "Where what happened?"

"Where he met Elysia. I remember, she was like China. She was poised, elegant, and the very _definition_ of beautiful. Skulduggery couldn't take his eyes off her. He fell into a ditch!" Dexter laughed so hard he didn't notice Valkyrie not joining in.

"Skulduggery, he likes elegant women?"

Dexter smirked. "And how! All things fine and elegant, that him!" Dexter found himself thirsty and went for a drink. Erskine laughed.

He glanced at drinks selection for the night. "Interesting…"

Valkyrie blinked a couple of times and then glanced at Erskine. "What is?"

"Oh nothing. I'm just surprised that Skulduggery was willing to serve that."

"Serve what?" She was starting to get annoyed.

Erskine laughed. "He hates beer. Hates it with all his heart, or would have, if he still had one."

Valkyrie blinked. She hadn't known. He hadn't even mentioned it once during the planning. "Why?"

Erskine shrugged. "I think he picked it up from his wife. Elysia hated beer as well."

Valkyrie nodded, murmured some random farewell and walked away. She knew Skulduggery for 13 years. She could read him better than anyone, present or past. However, she knew nothing about his preferences. She knew nothing of his favorites things. Well, she knew a few, but clearly not as much as his… _former_ wife had. She kept saying former over and over again, trying to make herself believe it.

"Something wrong, dear?"

She gasped. "Oh! You startled me. No, everything's fine." She smiled at him. She swallowed. "Skul, would you call me poised? Like China?"

Skullduggery laughed. "You're very graceful, but you're not _poised_." He grazed his teeth against her temple. "What's wrong?" He sounded concerned.

She blinked. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong." She smiled at him and spoke again. "Let's get everyone ready for dinner."

He nodded. They walked out together.

"Everyone!" No one heard her. She turned to Gordon. "Cut the music."

He did. Everyone stopped and looked around. Valkyrie smiled. "Excellent. Now, dinner is ready. The table is assigned seating. Everyone behave. Anton Shudder is our bouncer for the night." Skulduggery chuckled. Anton smiled. He had dressed up too, which had surprised Skulduggery and a lot of others. He was dressed as John Smith.

The dinner went well. The food selection was perfect. Valkyrie smiled at a job well done. When the last guest had left she sighed in relief and slumped against the door.

She wrapped her arms around Skulduggery's neck. "Let's not do that again, hmm?"

"What about the reception for the wedding."

She groaned. "Let's elope."

He laughed and scooped her up in his arms. She glanced at the mess. "The mess? The dishes?"

"The cleaners are coming tomorrow. Let them do it."

She frowned. "I didn't order any cleaners."

Skul tilted his head in a smirk. "I did." She sighed in happiness and leaned her head against his shoulder and started humming the song that he had sung to her earlier. It had been a popular song for dancing back when he was flesh. She liked the melody.

"I love the ring, darling." She admired the ring and he carried her up the stairs. He laughed.

"I'm glad you do."

She jolted as a realization came to her. "China! Did she give you-?"

"Yes she did."

She kissed him. "What's it about?"

He sighed. "When we're in our room."

She nodded. They past the study. "Goodnight Uncle!"

They heard him say goodnight. Skulduggery laughed quietly.

She smacked his arm slightly. "Stop!"

He laughed even harder. Kicking the door closed, he plopped her down on the bed. Her dress hoop poofed up into her face, causing him to laugh harder. She cursed. "How did they bloody wear these things?! I could barely sit down at dinner!"

Skulduggery shook his head. "I haven't the foggiest." He stood up from the bed and started removing his tie. He became serious quickly.

"This second option of getting flesh…" He shook his head. "It's almost as impossible as the first one was. You remember that book that Gordon wrote. The one about the fountain of youth."

She nodded. "He wrote that the fountain, in order to work, had to take a life to give a life." She paled. "Is that the same for this spell?"

Skulduggery nodded. "I don't know who it should be. I don't even know if I want to do this to someone. To become human at the cost of a person's life. That's one more death that I don't want to have on my conscience."

She nodded. "I understand."

He looked at her. Surprise was evident in his stance. "You do?"

She nodded. "Of course. Why would you think that I wouldn't?"

He shrugged. "Elysia was always so black and white on things. She would have called nonsense and said 'just do it.'"

Valkyrie ground her teeth. "I'm not Elysia."

Skulduggery picked up on that tone. He turned quickly. "What have people been saying tonight? That's reason you were upset this whole night, wasn't it?" He had always been in tune with Valkyrie's thoughts and emotions. There was a bond that they shared.

She sighed. "Erskine started comparing my food selection to what _Elysia_ would have chosen. Dexter started comparing me to what _Elysia_ was like. China later came to me and made a few innocuous comments about how _Elysia_ would have worn a different style of dress for her engagement. Even Ghastly commented on how _Elysia_ was your life's hope during the war, the only reason you kept on fighting. How you _worshipped_ her." Valkyrie didn't notice until now how tightly her fists were clenched. She heaved a sigh. "Ignore me, Skul. I'm not myself right now." She didn't feel like starting an argument, not with Skulduggery. Not about this. She felt too insecure. She _despised_ feeling insecure.

Skulduggery walked over to her slowly. He crouched down so they could look at each other face to face. "I love Valkyrie Cain. I love _you_. Elysia is dead. I grieve her death, yes, but I love _you_! I would have chosen you over her, actually."

Valkyrie snapped her head up and stared at him. "What?" She whispered.

He tilted his head in a smile. "She was a strong woman, yes. She loved me dearly, yes. I loved her extremely much, but we were never close. We were never as close as you and I are."

Valkyrie gave a small sob and threw herself into his arms. He chuckled. "You poor girl. Tonight was suppose to be a lovely evening for you, and it turned out to be hell." He pressed his teeth against her neck. "I'm sorry."

She sniffled. "Don't be." She pulled away and stared at him. "I love you. These words have become so trite and commonplace, but I mean every single ounce of feeling and emotion in them. _I love you_. I will always love you…"

""To the very end."" Skulduggery spoke in unison with her. They kissed.

She sniffed but got serious again. "So, are you planning on doing it?"

He shook his head. "The chance of it failing is too high. I…the only reason I want my body back is because of you. If I die, then that sort of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?"

She smiled. "I agree. I'd rather you mostly dead than completely dead."

He cocked his head at her. "You know…that's not exactly reassuring."

She grinned at him. "Really? I had meant to give you encouragement."

He shook his head sadly. "What ever happened to that young, little girl who always hung on my every word and obeyed my wishes?"

Valkyrie laughed and kicked her feet up. "She never existed!"

Skulduggery grabbed her ankles and flipped Valkyrie over her head and off the bed.

Valkyrie screamed and then took off after him, chasing him all through the house. They finally quieted down because Gordon screamed at them to 'STOP ALL THAT RACKET! SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO GET SOME WRITING DONE!'

They snickered and giggled like a young couple.

Skulduggery finished taking of his suit. He looked over at Valkyrie. "Something wrong dear? You're still wearing your corset."

She turned to him. "I can't get it off!" She stomped her foot.

He laughed.

"Stop laughing at my pain!"

He didn't stop, but he did help her remove it. She gave him a thank you kiss and reached for her nightgown.

He pulled her hand away from it and pulled her into bed. "You're not going to need that." She gulped and then kissed him.

 **Hey guys! I'm going to update this story every Thursday from now on. I'm currently running out of chapters that I had written ahead of time. I'm going to try and start writing more. However, I might have to put a hold on the story** _ **when**_ **I do. Of course, this will be a little while in coming, so don't worry about it now. I'm just giving you guys a heads up.**

 **Thanks for reviewing!**

 **Ink…**


	11. Chapter XI

Chapter XI

 **The Next Day**

Erskine looked up from his paper's. "Yes, Skulduggery?"

Skulduggery slammed his fist into the table. His voice was low and dangerous. "Tell me, Erskine, what possessed you to speak about my _first_ wife to my _future_ wife during her _engagement party_?!"

Erskine blinked and then paled. "Oh hell."

Skulduggery nodded. "I've already beaten up Dexter for it, and tongue lashed China. Bashed Ghastly around too. You, since you're a Grand Mage, I can't beat up. However, I _can_ make your life miserable. I demand a vacation period for both Valkyrie and myself, for as long as we want. Grant it…now. Before I use your name like Mist did! This time Ghastly won't be around to cancel out the orders!"

Erskine sighed dismally and nodded. "Granted."

Skulduggery nodded curtly. "Don't speak of Elysia to Valkyrie again."

"Yes, Skulduggery."

"And don't tell Valkyrie what went on today."

"Yes, Skulduggery."

"Goodbye, Erskine."

"Goodbye, Skulduggery."

The door slammed shut, and Erskine rested his head on his table with a miserable groan. He was an idiot, and unfeeling, insensitive idiot.

 **Gordon's House**

Valkyrie hugged Skulduggery as he walked in. "How was the meeting? Are you sure I shouldn't have gone?"

"And be bored out of your life? No. Besides, it wasn't formal. I just needed to talk to Erskine, and" He waved two vacation passes. "Get a two weeks vacation for the both of us."

Valkyrie tackled Skulduggery in a hug. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Skulduggery laughed. "Where do you want to go?"

"Out of Ireland." Came the immediate reply. "And definitely _not_ Texas!" She walked back into the kitchen to get her tea, which was whistling.

Skulduggery laughed again. He collapsed gracefully into a chair. He watched her walk past him to sit on the couch. She was wearing a black, full length negligee. Completely black, and completely shear. He could see the outline of her legs as she walked.

"You packing that." There was no room for argument.

She looked down at herself and laughed. "If you had your way, that's all I would be taking." She set her tea down and slipped onto his lap. His hands immediately found her waist. "Tell you what. Take me to someplace tropical, and I'll show you what I look like in a string bikini and thong."

He was pretty sure his sockets bulged. "Deal. Absolutely a deal. Tropical…hmm…Bahamas? Greece? Hawaii? Florida Keys? Cayman Islands? Fiji? Virgin Isles? Costa Rica? Caribbean Islands? Seychelles? Solomon Islands? Maldives? Thailand? Philippines? Indonesia?"

She laughed and kissed his jaw. Funny, he just realized that his bones were less cold now that she was always close to him, warming him up.

"Bahamas."

He nodded. "Bahamas it is then." She handed him their debit card from her purse. They only had one credit card and one debit card between them. He made the proper phone calls and made reservations for a suite of rooms at a five star hotel in Nassau. When he finished he looked around the room. Climbing the stairs, he heard her in their bedroom.

He opened the door silently and froze. She was fiddling with one of the things that he bought. He saw how innocently she was looking at it. Here was a girl who had experience hell, war, and torture, but when it came to a sex toy, she was as innocent as a new born babe. He chuckled at the irony. The contrast wasn't doing anything good for his self-control. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

She looked up and laughed. "What do you do with this thing?"

He raised his hand and the item flew to him. He tilted his head the way he did when he was feeling particularly sexual. He had been tilting his head like that quite often since they got together. "Let me show you." Her eyes widened, and she gulped.

 **Nine hours later, Four of which were…occupied**

"Darling? Are you all packed?"

Skulduggery looked at his closet. He couldn't decide what hats to bring and what hats to leave behind. "Almost."

She walked in on him holding two hats as if weighing them. She rolled her eyes. "Idiot." She grabbed the one in his right. "This one obviously. It goes with all your suits." He nodded and put the others away.

She paused while putting some toiletries in her check. "Can you swim?"

He froze and then resumed packing. "Of course."

"Skulduggery…"

He cleared his throat. "Albeit…not very well."

She turned and stared at him. He looked down sheepishly.

"Hardly at all, actually."

She put her hands on her hips.

He sighed. "Not one stroke."

She groaned. "Why didn't you ever learn?"

He shuffled a bit. "Rivers were too swift to learn in. I didn't live by the ocean. There wasn't any need to learn."

She nodded. "Ah." She beamed at him. "I'll teach you." The doorbell rang.

He nodded doubtfully. She left to go answer the door. He went to make a call.

"China?" He knew he would regret keeping this from Valkyrie, but he couldn't get this option out of his mind.

"Yes?"

"I've decided to do it."

"Good for you, Skulduggery. I knew you hadn't gone completely soft."

He sighed. "When would it be best?"

He heard her hum in thought. "Tonight? Six. Better come to my apartments, not the Sanctuary. This is technically illegal."

He clicked his teeth anxiously. "I'll be there." He hung up. Valkyrie walked in.

"That was the service man. He's repairing that AC unit Fletcher broke."

Skulduggery snickered. "I still don't see how he could have managed to break the AC by looking at it."

Valkyrie smirked. "The AC saw his hair."

Skulduggery laughed and then turned serious. "Val, I need to go off tonight. I'll be back, late. I just need to tie up some loose ends before our trip. Okay?"

She studied him. She knew he was going to do something stupidly dangerous. She could see it in the way he was tensing up. Hear it in his voice. "Very well. Call me if you need someone to save your old bones."

He chuckled. "I will." He kissed her on her neck, his favorite place to kiss, and left.

Valkyrie sat on the bed and sighed. She didn't like being left out of the loop. She hated it actually. She picked up her phone. "Tanith? Can you do some stalking for me, please? Really! Thanks. Well, you see, Skul is going to do something stupid, and he doesn't want me around…yeah…could you?...Thanks, Tanith! I owe you. Wait! If he's about to do something suicidal. Don't get caught in the crossfire. Get out of there and call me, okay? I doubt you'll do that, but I just wanted to tell you to anyway." Valkyrie laughed. "Thanks girl!" She hung up and smiled. She felt marginally better.


	12. Chapter XII

Chapter XII

Tanith followed the Bentley all the way to China's new apartments. She sighed. She had a hunch China was involved somehow. She sent a text telling Val where she was. She snuck inside and quickly followed. China deactivated the alarms and she slipped in alongside Skulduggery.

"Are you ready? I've researched this process, and it's suppose to be excruciatingly painful."

Skulduggery only nodded tensely. "Who did you choose?"

China shook her head. "No good guys. Actually, he's a serial rapist. However, it's better if you don't have a name or a face to the person you're about to use."

Skulduggery sighed. "I feel wrong."

China put her hands on her hips. "Stop being so wishy-washy. Choose a course of action and bloody stick with it!"

"Let's do this." His voice was stern. Much like it used to be in the old days. Tanith texted Val what she heard.

Val texted back to stop him. By the time Tanith made a move to Skulduggery the door of the basement closed. She texted Val an update of what was going on. A few minutes later she got the text to come to Gordon's house.

Tanith hesitantly left China's place. She arrived at the house in ten minutes.

"Val?" She heard a scream of anger and a crash. _Fuck, she's furious. Whatever Skul did this time, he is in some serious shit when he gets back._ She hesitantly walked up the stairs, as if approaching her execution. "…Val…?"

Another shout and another crash. Coming from her bedroom. She smelled smoke. Pushing open the door she sniffed and realized Val had thrown a perfume bottle against a mirror. Tanith waded through the destruction and moved into the master bedroom. There were two suitcases on the bed. Val was preoccupied with burning one of Skul's hats. Tanith winced. That was crossing the Rubicon right there.

"You sure you want to do that?"

"Fair trade." She growled. "One hat for one lie." She flung the now burned carcass of a hat across the room. Tanith quickly stamped out the still alive embers. Valkyrie was obviously uncaring what she burned. The younger woman flung herself on the bed and shouted at her friend. "He promised that he wouldn't do it! He said that he wouldn't! What's the use of promising something? What's the use of trusting someone if they only break their promises?!"

That wasn't exactly fair. Skulduggery's record so far had been almost flawless, but Valkyrie was beyond reasoning right then. Tanith calmly sat with her friend as Valkyrie ranted about what a stupid skeleton he was. Tanith glanced at her watch. _It's 6:30pm_ …

She stared at Valkyrie. The girl was shouting. Tanith was pretty sure that Darquesse would have been in control by now…

 **Time Passes**

Tanith looked up from her the magazine she had found and stared at Valkyrie. The girl was still shouting. She glanced at watch. _7:45pm_. She closed her eyes for a few seconds. _What was Skulduggery was doing?_

 **Time Passes Some More**

Valkyrie had stopped shouting and was now threatening to "kill that stupid skeleton if he dares show his numbskull in this house tonight". Tanith glanced at her watch and bit her lip. _8:20pm_. _What was happening right now?_

 **More Time Passes**

Tanith had finished reading her magazine long ago and was now trying to offer words of encouragement to a panic stricken Valkyrie. Val was now blaming herself for whatever danger Skul could be in. Tanith offered multiple times to go and check it out but was shot down. She could never get back inside China's place without starting alarms and possibly messing up the delicate ritual. Tanith stared at the clock across the room. _9:55pm. It's almost been three and a half hours now._

 **Time Slowly Passes**

Valkyrie had cried herself to sleep. Tanith was in a fit. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to storm the place and demand Skulduggery back, but Val had said that the process of returning to flesh was an extremely complicated one. She didn't want to offset that and ruin Skul's only chance at being human again and possibly kill him permanently. She stared at the clock. _11:15pm._ She grabbed her phone and called Ghastly.

"Ghastly? I need you're help."

"Tanith? Is something wrong?"

"Terribly. Skul's gone and done something stupid."

"Again?"

"It's not funny Ghast!" Tanith glanced guiltily at a sleeping Valkyrie. She lowered her voice. "He's gone to China's to go through a dangerous process to get his flesh back. He's trying to become human again. From what Val's told me, it's extremely dangerous for everyone present in the room. There's a high chance of a rebound happening or something. He promised her not to do it, and now he's gone and done it…doing it actually. That's what's got me so worried. He left at 6:30 and its 11:20 now! Ghastly, what should we do?"

Ghastly was silent and then said. "I'll go over there."

Tanith heard the front door unlock. "Wait! I think he's just got home. I'm going out the window. I'll keep watch, just in case something goes wrong."

She woke Valkyrie up. "He's back." Valkyrie's eyes widened, and she ran out the door. Tanith jumped out the window and climbed onto the roof; she listened quietly for any scream.

Valkyrie's heart was beating harshly. She was half afraid that it would rupture. Would she see a discouraged skeleton? His real face? Or…she didn't want to think about it…a monster? There were so many unknowns about that ritual! It might have changed him…mentally.

She ran out of her room and fled to the hall. She saw him close the front door.

"Skulduggery!"

He stiffened, but didn't turn around. Valkyrie ran down the steps and up to him. She stood uncertainly a few feet away. "Skul? Darling? Say something? Let me see you."

"You figured it out?"

It was the same voice. She tried hard not to let her hope rise.

"That you broke your promise, went back on your word, and underwent a dangerous process that could have killed you? Yes, I know. I also know that ever since you left, I have been on an emotional roller coaster. I was enraged that you broke your promise. Then I was furious that you didn't let me come with you. Finally I was worried _sick_ because it took you so long!" Her voice sounded both harsh and broken at the same time.

He still hadn't turned around. However, she could see that his shoulders were drooping more and more with each word she said.

She spoke in a more gentler voice. "Skul? Dear, please turn around. I don't care what you look like. I just want you to hold me. I thought…" Her voice cracked. "I thought I had lost you."

He turned and grabbed her so fast that she didn't get a chance to see his face, except that it was tan. His hair was soft and black and silky. She put her fingers through his hair. "This is real?"

"Yes."

She tried to pull away to look at him but he held her close. "Not yet. Let me apologize for tonight. Love, I'm sorry for doing this to you. I had no idea that it would have affected you so. I…I really am an ass sometimes aren't I?"

She gave a laughing sob. "Yes, you are. So, was this evening of pain, panic, and torture worth it? Did it work?"

"See for yourself." She pulled away and stared at him. Her eyes widened.


	13. Chapter XIII

Chapter XIII

"Skul…" Her eyes took in every detail. Flesh. He had eyes. Lips. Eyebrows! He gulped and looked at her with a slight trace of uncertainty in his eyes. She smiled a brilliant smile. "You even more handsome that I thought you could possibly be!" She kissed him on his soft lips. He gave a laugh and picked her up and twirled her around the room.

"You like? You really like my looks?"

She laughed. "Of course I do, ninny! How fit are you? Do you need to work your muscles back into shape?"

He shook his head. "I'm exactly as I was when I died. Meaning, I was, am, in perfect condition." He preened slightly. She licked her lips.

"You know, there's just one small problem with you."

He looked at her sharply. He raised an eyebrow, and then he smiled at the fact that he could raise an eyebrow. He quickly made his face stern again. She giggled. He rolled his eyes, and then he did it again, just to be able to do it. He stared at her. "What problem is that?"

She moved closer to him. "You, are wearing far too much clothing, my dear." She started unbuttoning his shirt. He let her do it, too busy enjoying the sensations of flesh against flesh. She slipped his shirt off and stared at his toned muscles. She made a happy sound and kissed his skin all over and licked it.

"This is where your ribs are." She kissed that spot and nibbled. He felt his knees go weak. Before he lost all his strength, he picked her up and carried her to the car. He had a plan that he needed to fulfill. He grabbed his shirt on the way out. She was in a white negligee, just because he had said that he wanted to see more color on her. Tonight that option would be perfect. A bit sketchy but perfect nonetheless.

 **The Next Morning, Gordon's House**

Valkyrie hummed in appreciation to herself. She stared at her sleeping husband. Oh yes. Skulduggery had eloped with her last night because he wanted to marry her as a true virgin. Then he would claim her on their bridal bed. She had thought the gesture incredibly sweet and caring and had agreed wholeheartedly.

She stared at her husband's face. He truly was a handsome devil. Silky, black, straight hair, a little on the long side, framed his face. His skin was smooth and tan. He really did have high cheek bones. His jaw was strong, and angular. He had laugh lines. His eyes were dark blue. Very dark, almost grey. They were big and expressive. She smiled. He would have to learn how to hide his emotions again. His body was that of a Greek god. Perfect in every single, sexy way.

She truly was a lucky girl. She smiled and then looked at the clock. Her eyes widened. They had a plane to catch! She blinked as she tried to remember the departure time. She yelped. They only had four hours before is took off!

"Skulduggery! Get up!" He bolted up and stared at her.

She bounced off the bed. "The plane!"

He paled and jumped out of bed too. His legs almost buckled. She helped him. "What just happened?"

"Over extended them. Bones don't need to be stretched. I'm still not used to muscles."

She nodded and they walked to the outer bedroom room together. They closed their suitcases. Skulduggery put on one of his suits. It fit him, but just barely. They would have to go shopping in Nassau. He looked for his hat. "Darling? Where's my black hat? My favorite one?"

Valkyrie froze. Her eyes widened and she pushed the remains of his black hat under the bed. Unfortunately the smoke smell, mixed with the perfume, still lingered in the air, and there were ashes rubbed into the carpet.

He walked in. Three hundred years of being a detective trained him to pick up on those little details. He narrowed his brand new eyes at Valkyrie. She gulped and raised her hands. "Now, Skul, we have a plane to catch. We can't become distracted by little things-"

"LITTLE THINGS?! MY HAT IS NOT A LITTLE THING!"

She winced and then got angry. "IT'S YOUR BLOODY FAULT! ONE HAT FOR ONE LIE AND BROKEN PROMISE!"

He blinked and then nodded with a sigh. "I see your point." He pouted with those delicious lips. "But why did you burn my _favorite_?"

She rolled her eyes. "It wouldn't have stung as much if you lost a hat that you didn't like."

He sighed. "I guess I've learned my lesson never to break promises with you again. Or lie."

She smiled. "Excellent. Shall we go?"

He grumbled but nodded. He put on his second favorite hat. She was glad to see that it still looked good on him. They grabbed their bags said goodbye to Gordon, who complimented Skulduggery on such a nice façade. They didn't correct him. They were in a hurry.

Skulduggery drove to the airport quickly and they checked their bags, went through security, and arrived at their gate all within three hours. Valkyrie gasped for breath. Skulduggery was little out of breath as well.

"I like having a body, but there were some good points to not having lungs."

She laughed. Her phone rang. She gasped when she realized that it was Tanith. "Tanith! He's alright. Yes, it worked. Well…" She looked Skul up and down and then nodded head left and right in a 'so-so' motion. "He looks pretty good." He made an affronted sound. He grabbed the phone.

"Tanith, I have two things to say. One, I am an extremely handsome creature. And two, when did she tell you about my transformation? She was a bit… _busy_ last night." He smirked at her. She stuck her tongue out at him.

He listened for a while, and then he flushed in anger. His voice was low and menacing. "You just stood there and _watched_ as she burned my _hat_?!"

Valkyrie glanced around and noticed people were watching with confused faces. She tired to shush Skul, but he ignored her. He turned away and focused on berating Tanith, who sounded like she was laughing at the other end. Valkyrie shook her head with amusement.

"Well, of _course_ I'm the same old Skulduggery! Just because my face changed doesn't mean my personality did!"

He listened some more. "Oh, shut up and put Ghastly on. I'd rather talk to a more intelligent person anyway!"

Valkyrie started giggling. Now other people were watching with amusement.

"Ghastly? Yes, I look the same. Exactly like I had before…the accident." He glanced around. People stopped staring, but it was obvious that they were listening. "Dr. China really was superb. She did an absolutely flawless operation. Hmm? Yes it did take a while and it was painful, but I think it was worth it, don't you?"

He listened. His face became clouded. "No. I don't…Ghastly…Very well, yes. It was that style of operation… _Valerie_ and I decided to not know…" He sighed. Valkyrie frowned. He obviously didn't want to talk to Ghastly about the switching part of the process. She sighed and took the phone from his lax grip.

"Shut up Ghastly. You are not going to ruin our vacation. We've made the choice; stop criticizing Skul for it. What's done is done….What? Oh, we'll be back in two weeks…The Bahamas…No, I won't tell you what city. I know Erskine will find Fletcher, and you'll ruin our vacation. Goodbye, Ghastly. Enjoy rainy Ireland!" She hung up on Ghastly shouting at her about security and safety procedures.

Skulduggery smiled at his wife. "I love you darling." She grinned toothily at him.


	14. Chapter XIV

**Warning: BJ later on in the chapter.**

Chapter XIV

 **Airplane to Nassau, Bahamas**

Valkyrie sighed. "I hate leaving Alice. She was furious that she couldn't come to my engagement party. We'll have to do something with just the three of us."

Skul smiled slightly with his brand new lips. "I'm sure that Ghastly and Tanith are taking care of her very well. She'll also get to visit Gordon while we're gone. Don't worry about her. She nine years old now. She's a big girl. And I've already got a little something planned. Don't worry about that."

Valkyrie chuckled. "She wants to learn magic you know? Wants me to train her, like I did with Crystal."

"I think that's a splendid idea. Then you'll have a sister forever."

Valkyrie thought about it. "You know, I didn't think of it that way…"

Skul smirked. "Of course you didn't." She shoved him slightly in retaliation.

Skulduggery leaned against Valkyrie in return. She had a sudden thought. "Do you snore?"

He looked at her affronted. "No! I do not!"

She snickered. He glared at her. "I don't!"

She kissed him on his _flesh_ cheek. She gave an internal squeal at that fact. "I'll buy earplugs."

He huffed. "Anton does. Ghastly does. Dexter sounds like a buzz saw, but _I_ do not!"

She smiled. "Saracen? Erskine?"

He chuckled. "Saracen kicks in his sleep. Erskine sleep walks. We had to rescue him from a cliff once." He shook his head. "Almost became a dead man." He chuckled.

Valkyrie frowned. "I used to sleep walk. When I was seven. It was scary. One night I woke up and found myself swimming in the ocean. I almost drowned when I woke up, because I was so exhausted. Another time, I found myself in the middle of street. My father and mother were in shock when the police called them. I was in tears. I think I was around nine at the time."

Skul shook his head. "Incredible. How many times have you almost died before you met me?"

Her smiled flickered. "Only one other time."

He cocked his head automatically, and then he realized what he was doing and showed his curiosity on his face.

She sighed. "Skul, I'll tell you only if you promise me something."

"Very well…" He sounded unsure.

"Promise me that you won't get all overdramatic and vow revenge and crap."

He raised an eyebrow. "Fine."

"It was when I was around ten. Gordon had become a successful author by that time. It was well-known in many circles that I was his favorite niece. We were often seen together, walking in parks and such." Skul knew where this was going. His hands tightened on the armrests. Valkyrie's voice carried on.

"One night, I was kidnapped from my bed at home. The very same bed you've seen in my old room. Gordon received a ransom note. It was an exorbitant amount, but he paid it anyway. The kidnappers had never allowed me to see their faces, or hear their voices. They had used sign language and signals and masks. Anyway, once they receive the money, they dumped me in the middle of Dublin. I wandered around until I found a police station. They contacted my parents were immediately picked me up."

Skulduggery nodded and then stared at her.

"What?"

"The criminals? What happened to them?"

She sighed. "They got away."

He could tell that there was more to the story. "Val, those scars on your back, the faded ones…did they come from those kidnappers?"

She only nodded. "True meaning of the word 'sadistic'. They got an actual physical rush from my cries of pain."

Skulduggery's hands gripped the armrests tighter. "Enough. Don't tell me any more. Not right now. I don't want to lose control."

Valkyrie realized that damage control need to be implemented before the plane crashed. She chuckled. "I'm sure that's not the only type of self-control you could lose…" She slipped a hand into his shirt and started whispering dirty little things that she wanted to him do with her into his ear. He moaned silently. She giggled. Glancing up at the seat belt light, she saw that it was off. Tying her hair into a tight bun, she unfolded a blanket and draped it over him.

He looked at her. "What are you doing?"

 **Warning**

She grinned toothily at him. "Helping you." She slipped under the blanket. Thanking Skulduggery for packing light and not putting anything under the seat in front of him, she wedged herself between his legs.

Skulduggery stiffened as he felt her slender fingers unzipping his pants. He felt himself being lifted out of the confines of his pants, which had become rather tight when she started whispering those…things to him. It was a new sensation to him and not entirely unwelcome. He stifled a moan as she began to fondle him. Oh, she was good! He resisted the urge to squirm. He wanted her to go faster!

Wait… _what?_! Was she… His head hit the head rest of the seat with a thud. Her lips… Her…her _tongue_ ….oh…

He jerked. Nudging her slightly as a warning, he released three seconds later. He slumped against his seat, completely shocked that he had been able to keep his mouth shut the whole time. His self-control was extreme. He smiled tiredly. Even under extreme pressure, he didn't cave.

She slipped out from under the blanket. She pushed the armrest between them upward and curled into his side.

 **Done**

"Share the blanket, darling?" Her voice was completely normal. As if she hadn't just given him a blow job in public!

He spluttered something in reply. He was flushed. He wasn't used to actually giving his seed. He felt spent. He felt exhausted. This wasn't something that he had felt with all his other skeletal orgasms. Interesting…

She took his incoherence as an affirmative and slipped the blanket over herself as well. She fell asleep in his arms. His flesh arms. He was still marveling at the fact that after three hundred years, he had finally become human again. He wanted to sleep, but he didn't feel comfortable sleeping in public. He turned on the TV in the seat back in front of him. Idly flicking through the movies he came across Disney's _Beauty and the Beast._ He snickered and watched it.

 **Two hours later**

Valkyrie stirred in his arms just as Belle and the Beast were dancing. He cocked his head. _I should convince Ghastly to make a dress like that for Valkyrie._ He grinned.

"Skul, where are we?"

"On the way to the Bahamas for our honeymoon."

She smiled and stretched. He was reminded of a cat. Sleek, black, and dangerous. She curled into him again and practically purred. "How are you feeling?" Her voice held a flirtatious undertone.

He couldn't help but grin as he answered. "I feel wonderful. However, darling, could you please warn a fellow?"

She laughed. "That's half the allure! The element of surprise mixed with the erotic fact that it was in _public_ excites you! Admit it!"

He sighed but his smile was still in place. "Point."

She smiled and snuggled closer. "I loved you as a skeleton, but knowing that this is your original form, this is much nicer to snuggle with."

He chuckled and kissed her temple. "You're a strange girl, Val."

"Of course I am. I'm an Edgley, and I'm your former student! I am suppose to be strange."

He smiled. "You know, I didn't get the chance to talk to about what went on, in detail at least."

She shuddered. "Do I want to know?"

He pondered this for a moment. "No, I don't think you do. Anyway, Tanith told me that you knew that China took me to the basement. While we were inside, she turned off the lights so I wouldn't see the man that would be the…swap."

Neither Skulduggery nor Valkyrie wanted to say sacrifice.

He continued to speak, nuzzling his new wife with his brand new nose. He could actually smell strawberries again. He would never grow tired of the scent. "She drew symbols all over my bones. She referred to them as anchor points. Where the flesh would merge with my bones and my soul. I don't fully understand it, and yes, before you say anything, I, Skulduggery Pleasant, do not understand something. Don't get used to it." She giggled. He smiled at her. He grew serious though and continued speaking, pulling her closer to him.

"The pain was…unlike anything I ever experienced. It was far, far worse than what Serpine could ever do with that bloody hand of his. It was even worse than the torture that the Faceless gave me. I lost my identity. I lost my will. I lost everything about me. I was broken. I felt that I was being melted. That my bones were melting, and my identity, what made me the magnificent creature I am, was being shredded bit by bit." He shook his head at the ghostly memories. Valkyrie snuggled closer to him, as a reminder that he wasn't going through it any more.

He sighed. "China told me that it was crucial to keep my core intact. Keeping my identity with me would ensure that I wouldn't just lose my soul to the flood and die on the spot. Anyone who doesn't have a strong will, would have died, Val. It was not for those who are insecure in themselves."

Valkyrie stared at him. "What grounded you?"

He coughed. "You. You were the only reason that I would ever want to return to the living. You are the only reason that I would want to stay alive. I was melting and then I heard your voice. I experienced flashbacks mixed with illusions. I was sitting in the prison of the Faceless Ones and you were your 12 year old self, threatening to burn my hat if I didn't get up and get this ordeal over with."

Valkyrie started laughing. Skul chuckled, but his voice got darker when he spoke again. "I also saw visions of you crying at my imaginary funeral service, on _Fletcher's_ shoulder. That's what got me going actually. I didn't want to see you with any other man but me. No other." His voice got lower, more dangerous. Valkyrie blinked.

In Skulduggery's own way, he was a lot like Caelan. Both men were dangerous, and both men were very possessive. There was one very important difference, though, she trusted Skulduggery Pleasant. She trusted him with her life.

She kissed him softly on his lips. His brand new lips. "No other." He smiled.


	15. Chapter XV

Chapter XV

 **Nassau, their hotel**

Valkyrie lounged on a long chair on their balcony. She looked at the water. The weather was _beautiful!_ She heard Skul singing quietly to himself. She laughed softly. He had been bouncing around like a puppy when he realized that he could drink tea again. And when they ordered room service, she thought he was going to buy the restaurant! He was currently enjoying the feel of water on his skin. She shook her head in happy amusement. She was happy for her husband. He was able to do things he hadn't been able to do for three hundred years.

She was stirred from her musings when his voice got louder. Suddenly, he scooped her up and carried her around the room singing a song sung at weddings, in his time at least.

She laughed and held onto him. They both collapsed onto the bed. She smiled at him. He had been acting very differently of late. Sure he was the same suave, arrogant, quick witted detective, but he was also caring, kind, romantic, and absolutely wonderful husband. She had _never_ seen this side of him before.

"A pound for your thoughts, love?"

Valkyrie smiled at Skulduggery. "It seems so wonderful here. No one chasing us. No one wanting to kill us. Dar- _she's_ been gone for seven years! Everyone's happy. We're happy." She shook her head. "It's just too good to be true!"

He laughed. "It is. I've found myself half expecting an army of zombie poodles to come marching into Dublin and Erskine calling for our help."

Valkyrie laughed. "It wouldn't take much. Just a couple of bags of dog biscuits dipped in blood."

Skulduggery chuckled. "I do know what you mean though. We've never had a truly happy moment that has lasted longer than a day. It is now," He check his phone. "Day three of our honeymoon. The longest respite we've had in this past year!"

Valkyrie nodded silently. She gazed around the room. It was all white and cream. Soothing, soft, and relaxing. The bed they were on was obviously made from clouds. That was the only explanation she and Skulduggery could come up with. There were no weird hotel paintings hanging on the wall. The ones that were close-ups of dragon flies and anteaters and stuff. These had pictures of seashells. She curled up next to Skul.

She froze when a thought came to her. "Honey…"

Skulduggery looked down at her. He was currently half sitting up and playing with her hair. "Yes?"

She turned and pulled the hair from his fingers. "Did you…that night…when you came home in flesh…and we got married…did you…umm…use protection?"

He froze. They had been using protection, because Valkyrie wasn't ready for children yet. His eyes widened, and he dumbly shook his head.

Valkyrie fell back onto the bed, persuading herself not to hyperventilate. She wasn't ready for kids. She was a detective. She got hit in the stomach so many times. She couldn't be…no…

Skul held her closely. "When we get back, we can have a mortal doctor examine you. To make sure that you not pregnant."

She nodded. "What if I am…?" Panic was clear in her voice. "I'd be a horrible mother. I'll be in danger every minute of her life. I'll never be a stay at home mom. I'd never be able to spend time with her like every daughter deserves!" She turned to Skul, her eyes wide with panic. "Skul, we're going to have children someday. What…what are we going to do?"

He shook his head. "I was a farmer. Don't laugh! That was a serious business back in the day. I wasn't able to spend time with the family because of the war. I don't want to make that mistake again…" He sighed. "I don't know, love. I'll talk with Ghastly. He's always been smart about things like this."

Valkyrie nodded and curled up against Skul again. "I hope, for the baby's sake that it won't be this year." He nodded.

"Sleep darling. You're probably not even pregnant. How many women become pregnant on their first time?"

She stared at him. "More than you think. _I_ came from my mom nine months after their wedding night!"

Skulduggery was silent. There was nothing he could say to that. He decided to change the subject. "We can't do anything about it now. What do you want to do today? Hmm?"

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Valkyrie smiled at him. "Let's see…Skul…"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever had a massage?"

Skulduggery lifted an eyebrow. "Nope. Can't say I have. Why? Are they good?"

She stared at him. "You haven't had a massage even when you were human before?"

"Nope." He looked at her curiously. "Is that bad?" His head was cocked. She sighed.

"It's not bad. It's a tragedy. I'm taking you to the massage parlor in the lobby. Right now." He laughed, but followed her out of the room.

 **Two Hours Later**

Skulduggery's eyes were wide. His body was tingling. _Tingling!_ "Valkyrie?"

She looked up from her ice cream cone. Turns out he had never had ice cream before either. She was taking it upon herself to educate her husband in the world of modern food. They were going to have pizza that night. She handed him the cone. They were starting out small, with vanilla. He took a bite of it.

"Yes, honey?"

He handed the cone back to her. The amount of ice cream on it was greatly depleted. She gave him a look that he completely ignored. He spoke over her muttered "You were only supposed to take one bite…" and said. "I am going to learn how to give a massage, and you're going to learn how to as well. We'll give each other a massage after every case done well."

She smiled. "I like the sound of that." Her eyes twinkled. "If it's going to be full body massages then you'll have to promise not to get _sidetracked_."

He muttered. "I can't help it if I have a large sexual drive." They walked down the streets of the capital city of the Bahamas. Valkyrie laughed, but suddenly, she froze. He almost ran into her.

"Skul, there's a pool in our hotel room, right?"

He nodded. "A small one, yes. Why?" He gave her a dubious look. Suddenly he didn't like where this was going.

She gave him a near manic smile. "I'm going to teach you how to swim!"

He groaned. "I have a dreadful feeling about this."

They continued walking down the busy street. Valkyrie grunted in pain. She balanced herself on one foot to dig the pebble out of her flip flop. When along came a particularly fat tourist who bumped her. She screamed and fell head long into the traffic. Skulduggery was there in an instant and pulled her to safety again. She clutched him and panted. Skulduggery started shouting at the fat man in Gaelic, his native language. In his frightened rage, he temporarily forgot how to speak English. The fat man couldn't get a word in to apologize. He looked shocked. Valkyrie tugged on Skulduggery's jacket to catch his attention.

"It's alright. Let's just get back to the hotel." He nodded, sent one more fierce glare at the man and left with Valkyrie securely held in his arms. The ice cream cone was left splattered on the side walk.

They made it back to the hotel without any further trouble. Skulduggery was by her side every step of the way.

He opened the door and helped her in.

She sighed. "Skul, I'm fine. It was just a shock. I've survived enough cases and near death experiences. A _truck_ is not going to be my end." She sent him a smile and started changing her clothes. Skulduggery sighed.

"You almost died, Valkyrie. I almost lost you." His hands shook. "Just look at my hands. They haven't shaken this badly since I was a new recruit for the first war!" He gave a self deprecating chuckle.

Valkyrie saw what Skulduggery meant. His hands have never shook. Never. Not even when they were running from the Faceless Ones. She had never seen him this scared before. "Skulduggery, I didn't die. I'm still alive. I will stay alive and fight by your side for many more years to come." She took his hands and held them against her chest.

He took a deep breath and nodded. Valkyrie smiled. "Good, now-"

A phone ringing interrupted her. Skulduggery growled. "Can't they leave us alone?"

Valkyrie laughed and retrieved his phone for him. "Nope. We're the best they have. It's only natural that they need us all the time."

He chuckled. "I'm afraid you've adopted my ego issue."

She flipped her hair mockingly and asked. "What issue?"

He chuckled and answered the phone.


	16. Chapter XVI

Chapter XVI

"Yes?" Skulduggery listened to what the caller had to say. "Slow down Finbar. What?...Oh hell…Go talk to Ghastly…yes, he's the one…go talk to him about what you saw…okay…okay, goodbye Fin." Skulduggery sighed and shook his head. "Blast."

Valkyrie finished tying her bikini. "What's wrong?"

"This is bad."

She stared at him. "Well of course it's bad. This is the first time you've seen me wear a bikini and you haven't even noticed!"

He looked at her and then his jaw dropped in shock. She smiled and turned around. "Like?"

"Love it. Love you." He slipped his hands around her trim waist and nuzzled her neck. Valkyrie shuddered as she felt him kissing her spine and working his way down.

She gasped. "Skul! I just tied those!"

He chuckled. "I can retie them any time, love. Right now, though…" He let the sentence hang. His hands slipped upward from her waist to her well endowed chest. Walking her backwards, he pushed her onto the bed and moved on top of her, creating a Pleasant cage. "You don't need these, do you darling?" He didn't wait for her response, but untied her bottom bikini as well. "There. Much better."

She sighed in mock displeasure. "What? You want me to skinny dip with you?"

He cocked his head. "Not a bad idea." He was about snatch her bikini away and tossed it into the closet, but she stopped him.

"No. Maybe we can install a pool at Gordon's, but not here."

He pouted. She tied her bikini back on and led him to the pool. He smiled his brand new smile and took her in his arms. Valkyrie led him down the steps.

"If you feel nervous, tell me, and I'll swim you over to the water's edge." He nodded.

"I never feel nervous." They slipped into the water. She smirked when his hand held her tighter. She pulled away gently from him.

Skul held onto the wall of the pool. She laughed and let the water glide over her body. "Join me?"

He growled. "You little tease!"

She started laughing even more. "Come on, I'll teach you how to float first."

They continued swimming for a good two hours until Skulduggery's brand new stomach started growling. Valkyrie started snorting with laughter.

"Holy cow, did you _hear_ that?!"

Skulduggery flushed slightly. Valkyrie continued laughing until Skul finally had had enough, and he kissed her to silence her. She melted into the kiss. When they parted he nodded briskly and said. "Room service?"

She nodded. "Pizza." She kissed him again.

They were munching on two pizzas, turns out that Skulduggery had a very high metabolism, when Val finally realized that he never told her what happened.

"What did Finbar want?"

He stopped eating his pizza and meticulously swallowed his food and wiped his mouth. "He wanted to alert me that he saw the end of the world."

She choked on her water. "It doesn't have anything to with me does it?"

"Nope. That is over and done with."

She sighed in relief. "Excellent. Who does it have to do with?"

Skulduggery sighed. "That's the problem. We don't know. Finbar said that he saw a man. We don't know who or what he is."

Valkyrie worried her lip. This was bad. "A man? Any description? Key differences? Scar? Did he speak in the vision? Was there any accent?"

Skul shook his head. "I'm the wrong person to ask. While I appreciate the fact that you must have listened to my brilliant instructions on how to be an excellent detective, I cannot provide any information concerning this case."

Valkyrie raised her eyebrow. "What did we talk about concerning roundabout speech?"

Skulduggery chuckled, his grey eyes sparkling with humor. "I'm sorry, but I don't have the answers that you seek. Talk to Finbar. That dumbed down enough for you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Idiot."

He smirked. " _If_ I was an idiot, at least I would be _your_ idiot." He stole her pizza slice.

 **It's short, but it's a bridge into the plot. Vacation time is over now, sorry Valkyrie and Skulduggery. = )**

 **Hope you guys enjoy this one! Thanks for your reviews!**

 **Ink…**


	17. Chapter XVII

Chapter XVII

 **Two Weeks Later, Gordon's House**

Valkyrie sighed as she unpacked the last piece of clothing from her suitcase. Skulduggery popped his head in. "I'm going shopping. We need to buy food for two now."

She grinned. "Sure. I'll unpack your stuff, and tell Ghastly we're back."

He winked at her and vanished. A minute or two later, she heard the Bentley come to life. She smiled and grabbed her phone.

"Ghastly? Hey! We're back…yes…hmm? Or Skulduggery's shopping for groceries…" Her smiled faltered. "Why are you laughing?...of course he wouldn't do that…no, not everything…" She paled and ran to the window just in time to see the Bentley disappear off the grounds. "Fuck. Ghastly…. STOP LAUGHING!" She hung up on him.

She walked dejectedly to Gordon's office which doubled as Skulduggery's. "Uncle?"

He appeared. "Hmm?"

She sighed. "Skulduggery's got his body back. Just wanted to let you know that the face you saw him last with was his own."

Gordon's eyes widened. "Stupendous! Amazing! That was his own face?! Incredible! Where is he now? I want to congratulate him!"

Valkyrie made a dismal sound. "He's shopping for food. Also, he's planning on visiting Ghastly for some new suits."

Gordon nodded and then froze. "Wait, shopping for what?"

Valkyrie sighed. "Food."

Gordon stuck his tongue in his cheek. "What is he using for payment?"

Valkyrie sighed. "Credit card." She hit her fist against the table. "I should have _known_ better! He's going to buy the store! New foods to taste! New drinks to buy! New desserts, candies… He's never tasted chocolate before or Jell-O! Shit…he's going to want to try _coffee_!" She paled as she imagined Skulduggery as a coffee fiend. _Oh boy…_

 **Three Hours Later**

She ran to the front door, when she heard the Bentley drive up. Throwing open the door, she gasped. The car was _stuffed_ with food of a _thousand_ different varieties. She shook her head. Skulduggery cheerfully said hello to her and started a grocery bag brigade from the car to the kitchen. It. Never. Stopped.

She stared as the bags kept coming. Casually as she possibly could, she spoke. "Honey? Are we having a 'Welcome Back to Flesh' party for you or something?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "If you want to. You should have told me so I would have gotten things for it. But I suppose we can schedule it in time for us to prepare."

She sighed. "Darling, we could throw it _now_ and still have enough food left over for all the Sanctuaries in the world!"

He stopped putting things away. He looked at her sheepishly as she glared at the sea of paper bags in the kitchen. "I suppose I might have gone a little bit over board in the shopping…"

She sighed at the sheer understatement of his words. "Just a bit…" She shook her head. "Too late now. I definitely don't want to see the bill." She chuckled. "I am happy for you, though." Kissing him gently, she took the empty paper bag from his hands and folded it up. "I suppose we can keep some of these. Never know when you might need a bag." He nodded.

"Did you visit Ghastly?"

"Yes, he congratulated me on getting my body back, and he apologized for his words at the airport. Also, he's making more clothes for me."

Valkyrie nodded. "Good." She lifted out a bottle of caramel syrup and raised an eyebrow. "Tell me you didn't get all the flavors of ice cream…"

He looked at her affronted. "Of course not."

She sighed.

"I only got the ones the store had to offer." He chuckled. She glared at him.

The bell rang. "I'll get it. You continue putting this…" She gestured vaguely to the bags surrounding her. "Away." He nodded and hummed happily as he imagined what these things would taste like.

"It's amazing how many foods have been created in just a span of four hundred years."

Valkyrie shook her head and chuckled. She answered the door and got tackled by a nine year old Alice. "Vally! Welcome back!" Tanith was laughing. "What does Skully look like?!" Alice bounced on top of Valkyrie. Tanith chuckled and pulled Alice off of Val.

Valkyrie got up off the floor and stuck her thumb in the direction of the kitchen. "See for yourself." Alice raced to the kitchen.

"SKULDUGGERYYYYYY!"

Tanith shook her head. "She couldn't wait until you got back. You left rather suddenly you know."

Valkyrie sighed. "Sorry about that…Skulduggery wanted to see me in a bikini."

Tanith just shook her head. "Well, at least he can get tired now." She winked conspiratorially at Val. Valkyrie blushed.

"I'll thank you to keep out of my private life!" There was no real venom in her words. She smiled. "How's life in Ireland?"

Tanith pursed her lips. "Not good. All the seers and physics are getting visions and headaches. She's not coming back. Don't worry. She's gone for good. But somebody else is coming. Someone just as bad, probably a lot less powerful, but just as bad. We have no clue who."

Valkyrie sighed. "Yeah…Finbar called Skul…" She growled. "I just wish that we could have a moments peace. You know? Just live like normal mages."

Tanith nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. How's Gordon holding up? Any more glitches?"

Valkyrie shook her head. "He very nearly succumbed to the wipe. I'm glad he didn't lose his echoes…"

Tanith nodded. "That would have been one more thing you'd have to deal with."

Valkyrie nodded. She shook off her impending moodiness with a smile. "Let's go stop whatever Alice and Skul are cooking up. It's been far too quiet in there."

Tanith snickered. "Those two are like toddlers."

Val smiled. They walked into the kitchen to see Alice teaching Skul how to make an ice cream Sunday. They even had nuts and sprinkles.

"And you say this is suppose to taste good all put together?"

Alice nodded earnestly. "Tan took me to an ice cream shop while you and Vally were gone. I saw them make it like this."

Alice Edgley, taken name Sparrows Flight, was an extremely bright and intelligent child. Very precocious, she memorized everything she saw. Skulduggery was also teaching her at a very young age to take in every detail. He often took her to museums, and at the end, had her tell him how many people with hats they passed, and how many gun displays she'd seen. He was teaching her how to survive in both the mortal and magic world. Valkyrie was planning on teaching her magic soon. Crystal was going to help.

Skulduggery nodded. "How many bags did you help me unpack? Roughly, how many items do you think I bought?"

"Twenty four and a half. And…" She wrinkled her nose. "Too many?"

Valkyrie started laughing.

Skulduggery shook his head in mock despondency and sighed. "I've got to train that Edgley blood out of you."

Alice and Valkyrie spoke up in unison. "Don't you dare. Edgley blood is the best!" They looked at each other at the same time and smiled.

Tanith's jaw dropped. "Freaks. I've never gotten used to you two doing that."

Alice giggled. Valkyrie smiled. "Get ready for dinner Sparrows."

"Okay!" She finished up her Sunday and hopped off her chair.

"You've already had your dessert, so no more tonight."

She pouted but didn't argue. Alice knew arguing would be useless against Valkyrie.

Skulduggery finished making his Sunday and started eating it. He froze after the first bite. "She's right! This is delicious."

Tanith smiled and started helping Valkyrie clean up the mess Skul and Alice made.

"I hope Alice wasn't too much of a bother to you."

Tanith laughed. "Bother? No. Though sometimes, I think she's a little too observant for her own good."

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow in unison with Skulduggery. "How can she be too observant?"

Tanith blushed. "Well…she asked me one time if she could sleep in my room. I told her that I was using my room. She shook her head and said that I wasn't. I was using Ghastly's room. She'd heard me walk to his room every night."

Skulduggery burst out laughing. Valkyrie sighed. "Sorry, nothing I can do about that I'm afraid. You'll just have to be more careful around her."

Tanith groaned and hit her head on the kitchen table. Skulduggery chuckled and focused on eating his Sunday.

Valkyrie smiled at him. Tanith snickered. "Enjoying yourself, Skul?"

He looked up and nodded. "Excellent. Ice cream, among other things, is the most delicious dessert I've tasted yet."

"He should know. He damn near tasted every single dessert on the menu in our hotel."

Skulduggery's eyebrows rose. "You mean I didn't taste _all_ of them? And you let me leave without doing so?!"

Valkyrie just sighed. Tanith was too busy laughing.


	18. Chapter XVIII

Chapter XVIII

Sparrows ran down the stairs. Valkyrie smiled. "Tanith do you and Ghastly want to join us for dinner?"

Skulduggery paused. "Wait. Let's invite all the Dead Men. They won't want to miss this."

Valkyrie clapped her hands. "Oh yeah!"

Tanith laughed. "Okay, dinner when?"

"Seven."

She glanced at the clock. It was 4:23pm. "Okay. I'll pick up Ghastly." She left the house while pulling out her cell phone. Sparrows kept touching and poking Skulduggery as if she was trying to make sure he wouldn't suddenly become a skeleton again.

He just picked her up and pulled her onto his lap. "Who's my little girl?"

Sparrows snuggled closer to Skul. "Me."

Valkyrie gave a mock shocked sound. "I thought I was!"

Sparrows giggled. Valkyrie smiled at the duo. They had gotten even closer since Sparrows and Valkyrie's parents died. Melissa had always been against Skulduggery's visiting Sparrows. Desmond had been more open to the idea of magic, but…still bowed to his wife's wishes.

Valkyrie sighed. She missed her parents dreadfully. Their absence ached sometimes, like a punch to the gut. Sparrows had only been eight at the time of their murder. After Desmond and Melissa Edgley were murdered, she went under Valkyrie's protection. They sold the house and moved into Gordon's mansion. Skulduggery helped Valkyrie take care of her, giving her protection as only the Skeleton Detective could. He lived in both his own house and Gordon's. Tanith, Ghastly, and even China helped.

Skulduggery was amazing with Sparrows. At first Valkyrie was worried that it would bring back memories his past child, and it did, but it was a good thing for Skul. He loved children, though he would always deny it.

Valkyrie returned to the kitchen to start making dinner. She could hear Skulduggery telling her sister stories of long ago, where a horse and carriage was all that they had for transportation. She wanted war stories; he told her watered down tales of bravery. She wanted the Dead Men. He told her humorous accounts of what Saracen and Dexter did during a prank war in the middle of a real war.

Valkyrie smiled and continued making food. From the abundance that Skulduggery bought, they could feed Meritorious' armies three times over. She shook her head.

Valkyrie started making a five cheese lasagna. Skulduggery hadn't had pasta yet. She pulled out the wine and started to chill it. While the lasagna noodles were cooking, she started making the dessert. Fudge brownies, chocolate for Skul. She smiled as she started layering the lasagna. Sauce, noodles, sauce, meat, cheese, noodles, sauce, meat, cheese, etc…

Her phone went off. It was Dexter.

 **Dexter V:** _Tanith told me about the unveiling party. I'm coming. ; )_

 **Valkyrie to Dexter V:** _Great! See ya at seven!_

 **Dexter V:** _Okay = )_

She heard Skulduggery call. "Saracen, Erskin, Anton and Ghastly said they could come."

She stuck the lasagna in the oven. "Dex texted me too. He said he was coming."

"Good."

"Skully! Piggy back?" Sparrows' voice rang out clear.

Valkyrie smirked. Skulduggery Pleasant gave no one a piggy back.

"Of course, Sparrows."

Her jaw dropped. "WHAT?!"

She burst out of the kitchen. "All those times I asked for a piggy back! Walking in the blistering heat! In the freezing snow! You denied me a bloody piggy back that you're giving _Sparrows_ so freely?!"

Skulduggery smirked. "Of course. Like my hugs, they are mine to give at any moment I wish to anybody."

She glared at him and then gave a snooty look. "Fine. Looks like someone's not getting any fudge brownies. After all they are _mine_ to give to anybody I wish…"

His eyes widened. "I _may_ have been a little too hasty in my words!" His velvet voice sounded frantic. She smirked. He set Sparrows on the couch and moved quickly over to her to do some damage control.

"Valkyrie, dearest, I would always give you a piggy back if I knew that you absolutely needed one. I would never coddle you. You wouldn't want that." He nuzzled her neck and kissed her. "After all, the only reason you're alive now, is because you're tough. If I were to give in to every single one of your wishes, you would have both hated it and become soft. And if you had become soft you would have died multiple times over by now. So, in a way of speaking, I saved your life."

She sighed. "Skulduggery, you once told me that you couldn't do persuasive magic. I think you lied." She turned around and kissed his real lips. Sparrows 'ewwed' and ruined the moment. Skulduggery hissed out a breath.

"Sometimes, I want to spank that child."

Valkyrie snickered and winked at him. "At least the walls in this house are…soundproofed." She walked back into the kitchen. He growled under his breath and forced a smile on his face when he turned back to Sparrows.

"Want me to read Lewis Carroll to you?"

"Yes! Yes!"

 **7:00PM**

The doorbell rang. Skul called out. "I'll get it." Valkyrie was still in the kitchen. Sparrows hopped off his lap and continued reading _Alice in Wonderland_. She had labeled Skulduggery as the Mad Hatter and the Cheshire Cat. Dexter Vex and Saracen Rue as Tweedledee and Tweedledum respectively. Erskin Ravel as The March Hare. Ghastly Bespoke as the Door Mouse. Anton Shudder as the Caterpillar.

Skulduggery took a deep breath and opened the door. Tanith and Ghastly were standing there. Tanith, who had already seen Skulduggery and had squealed over him loudly, breezed by and went into the kitchen. Ghastly just stood there in shock. He had seen Skulduggery before in his shop, but he still hadn't gotten over it. Three hundred years without seeing that face, now he was seeing it again.

"Amazing…" He grinned. "Skul, you always were capable of doing the impossible."

Skulduggery grinned mischievously. Ghastly stared. He had thought he would never see that grin again. "It is good to be back." He closed the door after his good friend and they walked into the family dining room (there was a larger dining room for parties). There was a connecting door to the kitchen to the smaller dining room.

"Is Ravel's name still a secret? With all these dreams and visions, we don't want it getting out."

Ghastly nodded. "The only other person who knew his name, was Mist, and you tossed her into the Accelerator, and I'm not telling anyone what it is."

Skul smiled. "A soul freely given." He chuckled. "And Valkyrie thought I would sacrifice myself. I thought she knew me better. She honestly thought I would kill myself." He shook his head. Ghastly grinned.

"Wishful thinking on my part, Skul." Valkyrie snarked. Tanith started laughing.

"Ah! The little wife has emerged from the kitchen. I thought I had bought stronger chains. And what are you doing wearing shoes?"

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and gave a 'do you believe this guy?' gesture at Tanith. She smiled in mock venom at Skul. "I bought myself some shoes behind your back. The same day I burned your hat."

Skulduggery winced at the reminder. Ghastly's jaw dropped. "You did _what_?!"

Valkyrie grinned. "Remember the night he went off and did the transformation? I burned his hat out of anger."

Skul moaned. "My favorite one too. And Tanith just _stood_ there and watched!" He gave an incredulous glare at the smirking woman.

Ghastly was too busy staring at Valkyrie. "And you're still alive?"

Valkyrie snorted. "Good and alive, thank you!"

Ghastly chuckled. Skulduggery stared at him. "Why are you, my best friend, laughing at my pain?!"

Ghastly just laughed harder. The doorbell rang.

Valkyrie went to answer it. "Hello Erskine!"

"Hi! Where is he?!"

"At the dinner table."

Skulduggery heard Erskine's voice and stood up to brace himself. Erskine had always been a hugging type of person. The golden eyed man marched through the open doorway and into the dining room. He froze when he saw Skulduggery Pleasant in the flesh once again.

"Skulduggery…?" His eyes shined. "Skulduggery!" He charged his friend and hugged him.

Skulduggery grunted and disentangled himself from Ravel's arms. He patted his friend's shoulder and nodded to a seat. Valkyrie had Sparrows help her take the drinks to the side board from the kitchen. Tanith carried the freshly baked lasagna into the room. Skulduggery's eyes bugged out.

Valkyrie smiled. "I made a five cheese lasagna for you." Ghastly started drooling. Erskine wriggled his fingers, his eyes glowing with excitement. He looked at Valkyrie.

"I suppose it's too late for me to marry you?"

Skulduggery laughed. "Far too late, Ravel. Far too late."

Erskine snapped his fingers in an 'aw shucks' type gesture. Ghastly chuckled. The door rang again. This time it was Anton Shudder. He stared at Skul, nodded, and sat down. There was a smile on his face. Saracen and Dexter arrived together and both attempted to hug Skulduggery at the same time. Rather awkward for Skulduggery but amusing for everyone else.

They all sat at the table and started fawning over Valkyrie's cooking. The lasagna was, to be blunt, inhaled. After everyone slowed down their eating, Skulduggery chose that time to speak. "Sparrows, care to tell everyone your new nicknames for the Dead Men?"

She grinned. "Skully is a mix between the Cheshire Cat and the Mad Hatter." Dexter started laughing. Everyone was grinning and nodding.

"Makes since." Anton said.

Sparrows continued. "Erskine is the March Hare." They smirked at a spluttering Erskine. She spoke over him easily. She had learned how to talk over people from Valkyrie. "Ghastly is the Door Mouse." Erskine stopped spluttering and started laughing. Ghastly just shook his head in denial. "Anton is the Caterpillar." Anton stopped eating at stared at her. Shrugging, he went back to his food.

"And what are we, Sparrows?" Dexter and Saracen spoke in unison.

Sparrows grinned. She was very proud of this one. "Tweedledee and Tweedledum!" This time everyone was howling with laughter, except for Anton who was just smiling, but that was pretty much the equivalent of howling for him.

Dexter just rolled his eyes. "At least Saracen's the Dum one."

Saracen glared at him. "Am not!"

"Well, I'm obviously not Tweedledum, so you must be!"

"I'm not Tweedledum, no how!"

"You can't say you aren't since you are!"

"You shouldn't say you wasn't if you was!"

"If you wasn't then you aren't, but you are! I'm not Tweedledum, so you must be."

Skulduggery just shook his head. "Boys, you aren't helping your case."

They stopped and instantly blushed. Valkyrie got up from the table and laughed as she walked into the kitchen. She came with a platter of fudge brownies. Placing it in front of Skul, she gave him the cutting knife.

He smiled eagerly as he cut a medium sized piece of brownie, took it from the platter and set it aside. Then he took his fork and made to eat the rest of the platter. All the Dead Men started shouting objections in unison. Skulduggery just laughed and started cutting it up for real.


	19. Chapter IXX

Chapter IXX

It was after dinner when everyone became more serious. They had migrated to the living room and sat on the sofas.

Erskine settled back in his seat and held a cup of tea. He sighed. "A lot of the seers are getting visions again. Another end of the world. They don't know who or what is coming. They only know it's going to be bad."

Dexter sighed. "Can't we get a moments peace? We defeated Darquesse and Argeddion only within this decade!"

Valkyrie left the room at the mention of Darquesse, on the pretense of getting more tea. Skulduggery gave Dex a warning glare and got up to go after her. Tanith just nestled closer to Ghastly.

"Any visions concerning…" She swallowed. "Remnants?"

Ghastly held her closer. "Actually yes." Tanith shuddered and buried her face into his neck.

Skulduggery and Valkyrie entered the room. She was leaning against him, his arm was around her. Sparrows was sitting on Saracen's lap. Valkyrie stirred. "Sparrows, come on. Let's get you ready for bed."

Her sister pouted. "Why can't I stay and listen to the war planning?"

Valkyrie smiled. "Because you're not old enough to be bothered by that. Now come on, off to bed." Sparrows heaved a sigh and trudged upstairs to her room.

Erskine chuckled. "She really is a gem isn't she?" Anton smiled slightly.

Valkyrie stood still as a thought came to her. "Erskine…"

He looked up at her. "Yes?"

She turned to face him. "What do the Necromancer say to all of this?"

Skulduggery stirred and stared at her.

Erskine frowned. "In truth, they have been unusually quiet…"

Valkyrie nodded. "They must know something and have plans to deal with in on their own." Erskine cursed.

"I'm off to pay them a visit. Skulduggery, wanna go with me?"

Skulduggery shook his head. "I might cause a war by killing Wreath."

Valkyrie chuckled and curled into his lap. "Darling, don't do that. We still need him. Once we're done with him, then you can kill him."

Skulduggery smiled with his brand new lips. Anton shook his head.

"Never thought I'd see Skulduggery Pleasant smile again. It's wonderful that you're back in the flesh, Skulduggery."

Skulduggery nodded. "It truly is."

Erskine grabbed his coat and headed to the door. "Anyone want to go with me? Ghastly? Dexter?" His golden eyes pleaded. Ever since Mist, he hadn't want to be alone with a potential enemy again. Ghastly nodded.

"I'll go." He kissed Tanith's temple. "I'll see you at home, love."

She nodded. "I'll go check on Sparrows."

Valkyrie smiled slightly. "Any news from Scapegrace? He did do a very brave thing when he fought in Skulduggery's place."

Dexter started laughing. "When he one he came back and started bragging that the ghosts had wanted him to be their king. They had heard of his Zombie King status and wanted him to rule over them. Now he's the King of the Dead."

Anton shook his head. "He needs to be careful. There are very crafty specters in the underworld."

Skulduggery looked away. He didn't want to think about his trials. Seeing his wife and child. Valkyrie shivered as she remembered her dreams.

She braved a smile. "Has anyone heard from him lately?"

Saracen nodded. "He sent his side kick, what's his name? Thrasher?" Skulduggery nodded. Saracen continued. "He sent Thrasher to the Sanctuary to report how the Underworld was doing. He mentioned something about getting an advisor who was excellent. Thrasher mentioned that the ghost's name started with an M. He thought it was Meritorious."

Valkyrie smiled. "With Meritorious, what could go wrong?"

Skulduggery shook his head and shushed her. "Never say that, Valkyrie. Never ask that question. Fate will always try her best to prove you wrong!"

Valkyrie just nodded and snuggled into Skulduggery's side. Tanith walked back down the stairs announcing that Sparrows was sound asleep. Valkyrie thanked her and kissed Skulduggery gently on the lips. He held her closer to him.

Dexter sighed. "I need to get laid."

Saracen, who had been drinking his tea at the moment, started dying, wheezing, choking, and making all kinds of annoying sounds.

Dexter snickered.

Anton just shook his head as if he still couldn't believe the immaturity of his friends. Tanith snickered.

Suddenly the light mood came crashing down as they heard a scream from Sparrows' room.

Valkyrie and Skulduggery were there in a flash. They burst through the room. Skulduggery flicked on the lights. Valkyrie cried out.

"What is that?!" A dark shape of a woman fled out the window and into the woods. Valkyrie was by Sparrows' side instantly. She held her baby sister. Over Sparrows' crying, she told Skulduggery very firmly. "We need to get China to carve a protection symbol in Alice's room. _Now_."

Skulduggery nodded and took out his phone.

It was said that Sparrows Flight was the heart of the Sanctuary. Everyone knew and loved the little girl. She had carved a place in China Sorrows' heart. If someone was trying to hurt Sparrows Flight, then all the Irish Sanctuary would be up in arms.

Valkyrie tried to slow her racing heart. That shadow in the shape of a woman had looked exactly like the woman in her dreams. Valkyrie held Sparrows tighter against her.

"Shhh…you're going to sleep with Skulduggery and me tonight. Quiet honey, that creature is gone." Tanith was pale. Very, very pale. While the creature, whatever it was, didn't look like a remnant, it keenly reminded her of one. Tanith shuddered again and leaned against the wall. The rest of the Dead Men watched as Skulduggery and Valkyrie quieted Sparrows like the little girl was their own daughter.

Anton looked at Saracen and shook his head. Saracen could only nod and glance at Dexter. They all knew that Valkyrie and Skulduggery would always have enemies. Powerful enemies. And once the news went out that they had a weakness, a very fragile weakness, then their lives would become hell.

Anton hissed out a breath. "Skulduggery, the Dead Men are willing to act as body guards for Sparrows Flight." The other two men nodded solemnly.

Skulduggery looked at them, a mixture of relief and sadness in his face. "Thank you. I can always rely on you men."

Valkyrie picked up a now fitfully sleeping Sparrows and took her to their bedroom. Dexter stayed in Sparrows' room, just in case that thing came back. Anton followed Skulduggery and Valkyrie into their room and sat cross legged in a dark corner. Saracen started making a round through the house, scanning it, searching for anything or anyone who shouldn't be their. Tanith stayed on the roof, checking the surroundings for any shadows flying across the lawns or sky.

Dawn came slowly for everyone. Skulduggery couldn't bring himself to sleep. Valkyrie dropped off at four. Sparrows slept through the night, only crying out in her sleep once.

When morning came, Erskine and Ghastly came with it, completely oblivious to the ragged nerves that they burst in on.

Skulduggery gave him a baleful glare. Ghastly blinked. Tanith flew into the tailor's arms. Her body and mind screaming exhaustion. It wasn't the all nighter that made everyone tired; it was the damnable stress and tense mood that came with it.

Erskine faltered. "What…what's happened?"

Valkyrie sighed and started covering the kitchen table with toast, scrambled eggs, and fried ham. "Something attacked Sparrows last night. We've kept awake just in case it comes again."

Dexter snored from the couch. He was sleeping now so he could be more fresh that night. Anton was gone collecting things that the Dead Men might need while they stayed at Gordon's Mansion.

Skulduggery nudged the snoring man awake so he could eat.

Saracen sighed and gulped some coffee. "It was just like the night in the Whistling Gorge."

Erskine stared at them and then shuddered slightly. The Whistling Gorge was the night when Mevolent's necromancers were animating the dead spirits and shredding the sanity of the troops. It had been the Dead Men's job to take out the necromancers' nest. They had waited for the spirits to come so the necromancers would be distracted and too busy to defend themselves.

The Dead Men had very nearly died that night. Closer than they had ever come.

"It was a spirit?" Ghastly murmured.

Skulduggery shrugged. "Sparrows doesn't remember all that well. All she could say that she saw a dark shadow the shape of a woman peering over her."

Valkyrie took a breath. "She had woken up because of the drop in temperature." Sparrows was currently taking a shower and getting ready for school. Valkyrie wasn't allowing her to use a reflection. That spell was against the rules _forever_.

Sparrows walked down the stairs very subdued. Ghastly became saddened at how much older she looked from just one night of terror. He shook his head.

Erskine bit his lip. "Hey, little birdie! Give Uncle Erskine a hug?"

She tried to smile and then ran to hug him. She pulled away and sat at the kitchen table to eat her breakfast.

Saracen swallowed more coffee. "It's me who's keeping guard at the school, right?"

Skulduggery nodded. Valkyrie handed a plate of food to a groggy Dexter.

Ghastly sat next to Skulduggery. "Anything happen last night? Second attack?"

Skulduggery shook his head. His eyes were dark and fierce. He didn't want to lose his second family. Not if he could help it. Sparrows was too innocent. Just like his own child. Neither deserved to be introduced to the evil that was out there. Not yet. Not before they could defend themselves.

Valkyrie had to hold herself so as not to cry. Tanith put a comforting arm around her. The door chimed. Erskine answered it. China waltzed in.

She had her kit with her. "One symbol isn't enough. I'll cover her room and this whole house if necessary!" She started upstairs quickly. Valkyrie sighed in relief.

Dexter had heard about China's part in killing Skulduggery's old family. He knew that this was the woman's way of apologizing yet again to Skulduggery. She would do her very best to protect his second family.

Sparrows finished her breakfast and then Saracen took her hand. "I'm going to be with you in school today, Sparrows." She smiled slightly.

"I'd like that." He grinned and they walked to his car.

Dexter finished eating and went to the couch again to sleep.

Erskine helped himself to breakfast and started telling what he found out from the Necromancers.

"They know something. Ghastly and I leaned on Wreath until he finally talked. The dead are getting restless. The lines between the dead and living are blurring. Something is stirring them up."

Valkyrie frowned. "But why Sparrows?"

Skulduggery looked over to her. "What?"

She shook her head. "Obviously that was a spirit of the dead. The temperature dropped and it was a shade, a shadow of a soul. A dead woman. Who would even know about Sparrows?"

Dexter mumbled something into the couch. He tilted his face up and spoke again. "Your parents would know. I've heard rumors that the dead reside in a mockery of our living world. Cities matching our cities. Houses matching our houses. No food but just existing. Nothing to do but talk. That's why the dead gossip like no other."

Skulduggery nodded. "He's right."

Valkyrie nodded but then shook her head. "My father and mother would never speak of my sister in a magical community. They would definitely never inform an enemy-"

Erskine interrupted. "They might not know who is the enemy."

Ghastly nodded. Valkyrie sighed in defeat. "I guess you're right. But who was behind it?!" No one could answer that.


	20. Chapter XX

**I am** _ **so**_ **sorry! I was so busy writing another story I'm planning on posting soon that I forgot all about this being the day to update another chapter! Because of my blunder, I am giving you guys** _ **two**_ **chapters instead of one. Please forgive me! : (**

 **Ink…**

Chapter XX

 **The Underworld**

Scapegrace sighed. "Are you sure that this is the best course of action?"

The spirit moved closer. "But of course! After all, don't the dead deserve equality with the living?"

Scapegrace nodded. "Yes. Yes, we do!" Thrasher looked worried.

"Master, the lines between the dead and the living are very clear. Skulduggery Pleasant wouldn't be very happy with us if we stepped the boundaries."

The spirit laughed. "The Skeleton Detective, himself, is a blurred line between the living and the dead! Who is he to tell the King what to do?!"

Scapegrace nodded. "You're right." He smiled. "I'll opened the gate." He looked at the specter. "What would I have done without your advice, Mevolent?"

Mevolent just smiled and looked at his two attendants, Baron Vengeance, and Nefarious Serpine. They nodded to him.

Scapegrace pounded the marble floor with his staff. The whoosh of stale air alerted all the dead that the king demanded their presence. They came.

Melissa and Desmond held each other and looked around. Desmond looked at Gordon and whispered to him. "Who was involved in putting this idiot on the throne?"

Gordon shrugged. "At least he's allowed me to be the royal scribe."

Melissa rolled her eyes. Tenebrae and Meritorious appeared beside Gordon. Melancholia and Craven were standing in the area that quietly supported Mevolent.

Meritorious shook his head. "Why doesn't Scapegrace remember who Mevolent is?!"

Gordon looked around. "I haven't seen this many of the dead in one place before. Look! Isn't that…Hopeless? Skulduggery had told me so much about him!"

A woman appeared on the dais next to Scapegrace. Mevolent motioned for her to speak.

"M'lord, the Necromancers are becoming aware of our stirring. While I was in the plane of the living, I saw the house that used to belong to the Royal Scribe, now belonging to the Skeleton Detective and his wife. They seem to have a child now. A young daughter."

A scream was heard in the crowds. A woman flew before the throne. "My majesty! Was what she said true? Does Skulduggery Pleasant have a new wife?"

Mevolent looked at the woman. His eyes glittered. "My lord, this woman's presence and self-will is strong. Let her go above and see what the living are up to. Let her spy and then report to us here. The living fear death, shouldn't the next step be for the living to fear the _dead_ as well? The living should not be the one in power. The dead should! You are the rightful king over both planes! You, the king of the living dead!"

Scapegrace nodded. He stood. "Ghosts! Spirits!" Everyone quieted down. The woman kneeling before him remained where she was. Scapegrace nodded to her. "The living have dictated what we should do and not do for far too long! It is time to take back our former lives! It is time to make the living not only fear death but the dead too!"

The spirits roared in approval. Desmond muttered.

"Fuck. This isn't good." Gordon was as pale as a ghost.

Melissa gasped and pointed. "Look!"

Mevolent snatched the staff right out of Scapegrace's hand. Scapegrace's eyes widened. Thrasher was grabbed by Serpine. Vengeance grabbed Scapegrace. "Take them to the dungeons." He laughed and faced the crowd. "I have been king of the living. Many of you know of first war. I am Mevolent! I am now, your king. BOW BEFORE ME!"

All the ghosts did as commanded. Any who held the staff, controlled them. Meritorious hissed to himself. He motioned to all the ghosts who use to follow him as soldiers in the war and mages after the war. He signaled all who supported him still and they vanished so Mevolent couldn't dissipate them or imprison them.

Mevolent looked at the woman before him. "Go. Spy on the living. Look for your husband and try to bring him back to the world he belongs to."

She bowed again and vanished. Mevolent laughed. "This is war!" The spirits roared in approval. Mevolent opened the gates.

Meritorious immediately took the good spirits, the ones on the Sanctuary's side, and vanished to warn Skulduggery and the present Elders of what was happening. Melissa and Desmond attempted to follow, but the ghost, by the name of Serpine, stopped them.

"You are Valkyrie Cain's parents?"

They held onto each other and nodded hesitantly.

Serpine's eyes glittered. "That girl had a hand in my death. I take it that since you are _here_ it means that you were aware of the magic realm when you died?"

Desmond nodded. "We were killed by mages who wanted to hurt our daughter."

Serpine chuckled. "That sounds wonderful. I think I shall take you as my servants. Yes, that is an excellent idea."

Desmond and Melissa were forced to dissipate and reappear in Serpine's house.

Gordon was taken by Mevolent.

 **Sanctuary**

Wreath sighed as he waited for Erskine to call him into the hall. Erskine only let the people he disliked wait long. Wreath sighed and then looked up as Tipstaff beckoned him to enter the hall. He saw Skulduggery and the Dead Men there, except Saracen. Tanith was there too. Valkyrie nodded to him. Skulduggery glared at him with his new face. Wreath smiled at Skulduggery.

"Ah, Skulduggery, it's good to see you've decided to show your face again."

Valkyrie sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Skulduggery made a growling sound in his throat.

Erskine interrupted. "What's so urgent, Wreath?"

Wreath's smile melted. "War. Scapegrace, the _fool_ , has opened the gates of death. The people who are alive can still die, but the dead will continually poor into the world of the living. I-" His eyes widened. He saw spirits. Valkyrie gasped, so did Skulduggery.

Wreath calmly started coaxing the spirits to identify themselves. Soon Meritorious and his followers filled the hall. Meritorious sighed in relief to actually be seen by the living. It was a nice feeling.

"Mevolent has taken control of the spirits. He had Scapegrace locked up. The ghosts, the remnants, all the shades, spirits, and wraiths are following Mevolent's lead. It is war against the living and the dead. These spirits are the only ones who have resisted Mevolent's call."

Ghastly noticed one spirit. "Hopeless!"

The spirit waved to him. The Dead Men crowded around the spirit. Skulduggery introduced Hopeless to Valkyrie.

"Hello, ma'am." Hopeless smiled and then he frowned as he spied the wedding ring on Valkyrie's finger. "Skulduggery, is this your present wife?!" His voice was grave.

Skulduggery nodded. His eyes were guarded. All the spirits went quiet.

Hopeless gave a hopeless sound. "Your late wife must not find out your present wife's and daughter's identity. Elysia has changed, Skulduggery. She is not the same woman you married. She has become a mania. Filled with bitterness at her murder."

Skulduggery went still. "Surely she wouldn't begrudge me happiness?"

Meritorious turned to Skulduggery. "In the opinions of many of the ghosts, you are a traitor and a coward for not accepting your death."

Skulduggery made a noise of irritation. " _He_ was the one who brought me back!" He pointed to a dead necromancer.

Tenebrae shrugged. "I knew Fate wasn't done with you yet."

Skulduggery rolled his brand new eyeballs. "Whatever." Valkyrie frowned.

"What do you mean daughter? Skulduggery and I don't have a child."

"Yet." Skulduggery said. Valkyrie looked at him. He shrugged.

Hopeless looked confused. Meritorious did too. "A spirit who spied on the living world told the king that the Skeleton Detective had a wife and child and was living in the house of the Dead King's Scribe."

A random ghost called out. "That's Gordon's Mansion."

Valkyrie paled. "They know where we live!"

China gave a calming motion. "I've placed symbols that prevent remnants, spirits, wraiths, shades, manias, zombies, ghouls, goblins, and ghosts from entering your house from any entrance or even making a new one. I have set precautions that will prevent the entrance any being that is being possessed or influence by such creatures. Your mansion is a fortress. I was extremely careful, double checking every bit of my work." She looked very proud of her work. Valkyrie breath a sigh of relief.

Skulduggery took out his phone and called Saracen. "Saracen, take Sparrows back to the mansion immediately! Don't leave her side until we return…The dead are waging war on the living…No, I'm not joking with you! Mevolent is controlling them…yes…yes, you do that!" He got off the phone.

"Saracen is taking her out of school early." Valkyrie nodded with gave a sigh of relief.

Erskine glowered. "I'll have to alert all the other Sanctuaries and the dead are waging war. With our luck, Mevolent will attack Ireland first and _then_ the other countries. That's how it _always_ is!" He mumbled and grumbled as China and Ghastly left with him.


	21. Chapter XXI

Chapter XXI

 **The Underworld, Throne Room**

A ghost appeared in front of Mevolent. "My lord."

Mevolent made a noise of disgust. "Craven…" He turned to Vengeous. "Where is that infernal girl?"

"Melancholia St. Clair is still in prison, sire."

Mevolent nodded. Melancholia was still mentally unstable. Her necromancy powers transformed into something unusual. She could control the dead without controlling the staff. It was best to keep her under lock and key.

Serpine walked into the room with a smug air about him. "I have Valkyrie Cain's parents."

Mevolent frowned. "Tell me more about this Cain girl." He commanded Craven.

Craven started stuttering out everything that he knew up until the day he died. Mevolent nodded. "Interesting…She is a formidable foe then…" He chuckled. "What do you know of a creature called Vile? He is not here, so he must be still alive somehow…" Mevolent frowned.

Craven jerked. "Vile? Lord Vile? No. He was reported to have died at the hands of Skulduggery Pleasant."

Mevolent's frown deepened. He gestured to his surroundings. "Pleasant obviously did not kill him."

Craven nodded. "He was reported to have died. However, before I died, there had been sightings of him. He was hunting down Pleasant in revenge. I saw him in the caves beneath the Scribe's Mansion, the location I died."

Mevolent nodded. "I see. Dismissed." Craven nodded and vanished.

Vengeous looked at his leader. "The Wraiths are ready to attack. The Remnants are eager to possess the mages and sorcerers. They have obeyed my orders not to touch the mortals."

Mevolent nodded. He turned to Serpine. "You lead the ghosts. Create chaos. Take out the sensitives, seers, and Sanctuaries. Ireland is first. Then England. Europe will fall then Africa, Asia, and the West. Baron, you continue to work with the remnants and wraiths." Mevolent sighed. "I suppose I shall take over the investigation of Skulduggery Pleasant and Vile."

Serpine nodded. "It was a pity that Vile never allowed us to see under his armor."

Mevolent nodded. "He never slept or ate from what I could see. Freak."

Chuckling, Vengeous left to follow Mevolent's orders. Serpine, too, was about to leave when he faltered. "My lord, did you notice anything peculiar about Craven?"

Mevolent nodded. "He knows something about Pleasant that he doesn't want to tell, not yet. Keep an eye on him. Also, hunt down Tenebrae. He will most likely have the answers I seek."

Serpine bowed and left.

 **POV Change – Living Plane**

Elysia flitted over to the house where her husband was said to be living in. She frowned. It was big. Very big…

Growling, she tried to enter it but was barred. There was no way in, even an open window was barred to her. She spat curses and then noticed movement from the inside. Crouching, she peeked through the window.

She saw her husband. Her actual husband. Not a skeleton. Her real husband. Her elation was cut to pieces when a black haired woman kissed him. She watched as Skulduggery's hands slipped around another woman's waist. Rage filled her entire being. She seethed. She wanted that woman dead. She wanted her husband dead. He could join her then, if he were dead. _Does he not remember his child?!_ Another human caught her attention.

A little girl. The child jumped into Skulduggery's arms. She was laughing. Skulduggery was laughing. The little girl kissed his cheek in the exact same way Michael use to.

A cold feeling settled in Elysia's nonexistent stomach. That little girl had replaced her son. That young woman had replaced her. Her husband had betrayed her.

 _He must die. He must die. Dying is the only way to keep him near me. That is the only way to separate him from those two creatures!_ She shot back to the realm of the dead. Lord Mevolent, her husband's former enemy, must know. He was the only one who could help her.

Elysia nodded to herself. Mevolent was still her enemy, but now they had a common goal. Kill the young woman and kill Skulduggery Pleasant. After all, if Skulduggery became a ghost, then they would be together.

 **POV Change**

Valkyrie kissed Skul deeply. "I missed you."

Skulduggery chuckled. "I was only gone for about four hours." He slipped his hands around her waist and held her closer. "But I've missed you too."

Valkyrie smiled nervously. She had news. Big news. News that might change Skulduggery greatly, from a caring husband to a motherly troll. She felt torn whether or not to tell him.

Sparrows solved her problem for her by running into the living room full tilt and jumping into his arms. Skulduggery chuckled and caught her. She kissed him.

"I missed you, Skully!" She held onto him tighter. "You left without saying goodbye." Her blue eyes were round and big. Skulduggery's breath hitched slightly.

Sparrows was exactly the same age as his late son was when he died. _Don't think about that. Don't think about that. It means nothing. It can't mean anything. Coincidences don't happen. They don't!_

He was brought from his morbid thoughts when Sparrows started squirming in his arms. She ran upstairs. Dexter followed her quietly, nodding to Skulduggery.

Valkyrie sighed and leaned against Skulduggery.

"You alright dear?"

She smiled and nodded. "I'm fine. Just a little tired." It wasn't exhaustion. It was stress. They both knew it. "Skulduggery…about E-"

"Elysia will not touch you or Sparrows."

Valkyrie nodded. She smiled at him and got up. "I'm going to make dinner. What do you want tonight?"

He smiled up at her. "Anything that's easy to make in quantity. After all, the Dead Men are still here."

"Ceiling walking woman too!"

They looked up to find Tanith waving at them. Valkyrie shook her head. "I find it amazing how seldom people tend to look up."

Skulduggery nodded. "That is the point, isn't it?"

Tanith laughed. "Yep."

Valkyrie left them and entered the kitchen. As soon as the door closed, she whipped out her phone and started researching. She opened up her search engine and typed away. _'when a baby starts showing'_.

The immediate pop up was 12 to 16 weeks. Valkyrie leaned against the counter and sighed. It had only been roughly three weeks since that night. She had nine more weeks before Skulduggery found out that way. Putting her phone away, she started battling with her inner demons.

 _If he knew, then he'd be better able to help me. However, if he knew then he'd ban me from fighting altogether!_ She hit the counter slightly. She was strong. _But, with a baby, you wouldn't be at your best, and you know it! You would become a liability to Skulduggery and the rest of the Dead Men…_ Shaking those traitorous thoughts away, she turned to make dinner. Tanith walked into the room, via the ceiling.

Valkyrie didn't even look surprised anymore. "Hey, Tan."

Tanith rolled her eyes. "What does a person do for the shock factor around here?!"

"How's this for shock factor? I'm not making dinner tonight. You are."

Tanith fell off the ceiling.

Valkyrie started laughing.

 **Dinner, two hours and several burns later…**

Tanith was still grumbling. Valkyrie rolled her eyes and helped her bring in the food. Skulduggery was on the phone with China, asking questions about putting symbols on the Bentley and the Dead Men and Sparrows and Tanith.

Dexter was setting the table. Saracen was watching Sparrows do her homework, helping her whenever needed. Erskine was still at the Sanctuary haggling with the other Sanctuaries. Ghastly and Anton were watching, on guard for anything that might happen.

Everyone finally came to the dining room to eat. Skulduggery noticed immediately. "No wine, dear?"

Valkyrie always like having one glass of wine for dinner. It was in memory of her father. His wife smiled.

"Not today, Skul. I'm thinking that I'll not do that too often. Doing something too often dilutes the real meaning behind the actions, don't you think?"

Skulduggery chuckled, all the while scanning his wife for any hint of reason for her enigmatic actions. Nothing. He shrugged and let it go.

Saracen noticed that something was different about Valkyrie. Her glow, her presence seemed stronger. He sighed and imagined that it was his exhaustion talking.

Everyone proceeded to eat.


	22. Chapter XXII

Chapter XXII

 **Two Days Later**

Valkyrie sighed. They were in the lobby of the Sanctuary. The ghosts were hanging out there. Meritorious was talking with the Elders intently. He was informing them of everything that had been going on in the Underworld. Valkyrie frowned and moved over to Hopeless. He was exchanging stories with the Dead Men.

Conversation faltered as she walked up. Hopeless nodded and floated to a standing position. "Ma'am?"

She smiled. "I was just wondering, did you see my parents, Desmond and Melissa Edgley, when you were there? You mentioned my uncle being the Royal Scribe. Did you meet him personally?"

Hopeless smiled. "All the gentler ghosts, the ones who supported peace and justice in the living world, knew each other. They're very well, since the last time I saw them." His eyes clouded over. "However, I worry for them since they are not here with us. They may have gotten trapped in the call."

Valkyrie frowned. "The call?"

Hopeless nodded. "All of us had to escape before Mevolent corralled us into prisons or coerced us into submission. We have no choice but to obey the ghost who has the scepter in his hand."

Valkyrie bit her lip. "This isn't good. You mean that they're forced to answer any question?"

Hopeless shook his head. "No. They would be forced to _do_ something, but they cannot speak against their will."

Skulduggery stood up and slipped an arm around her. "That at least is good. Mevolent won't know anything about…you know." He pulled her away from the group to talk with her privately. The others awkwardly went back to catching up on the times.

Some of the soldiers who died during the first war with Mevolent were insisting cell phones were a form of sorcery, much to the amusement of the living sorcerers.

Valkyrie shivered slightly. She turned to look at Skulduggery. "But Melancholia St. Clair and Craven…they _know_."

His arm tightened. Valkyrie ignored everyone else. "Skul, did Mevolent ever find out who was under that armor?"

Skulduggery shook his head quickly. "No. Never. No one did. I wasn't even completely aware of why in the first place. I had no memories."

Valkyrie sighed. "Skul…I uh…I have something to tell you…" His dark grey eyes stared at her curiously.

"Yes?"

"Skulduggery!" Erskine ran up. Valkyrie had never been so thankful to see the golden eyed man before.

"Yes?" Skulduggery asked again. He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head too, for good measure.

Erskine raised a finger to catch his breath. "Okay...the Elders have contacted the rest of the world. It seems that Mevolent isn't interested in them just yet."

Valkyrie nodded. "Well? Are they coming to reinforce us?"

Erskine growled. "No. Some Sanctuaries are claiming that we're bad luck. Also, some Elders are spouting nonsense about Ireland being the only thing that Mevolent wanted back in the old days. Therefore, Ireland would be the only thing he would want now."

Skulduggery growled. "Mevolent was _aware_ of the other lands then! The other Sanctuaries weren't even _founded_ back then! What are they? Kindergarteners?!"

Valkyrie sighed. "Terrific. No back-up. We're surrounded by human beings who pretend to uphold and defend mortals but in reality, are too afraid of their own shadows to do anything about anything." She kicked at the floor in disgust.

Erskine sighed. "You should have heard the names China called them to their faces. I have _never_ heard such filthy language spoken from such a beautiful creature in such a _refined_ , high-class way!"

Valkyrie snorted. "Leave it to China to be able to pull off cussing like a sailor and still look lady like."

Ghastly walked up. "Erskine tell you the typical news?"

Skulduggery sighed. "Yes. It seems like we're on our own once again."

"Just once I'd like to be on the _easy-win_ side!" Valkyrie hissed.

Erskine nodded. "That would be a nice changed of scenery."

Valkyrie was about to respond, when she caught sight of Tenebrae. She glowered. "Skul." She hissed.

He turned to see the ghost watching him intently. They detached from the group and went off to the side, where the ghost was floating. "Well, well, well…it seems that complete animation of the dead is possible! I would _love_ to know how you accomplished this. However, given our tenuous relationship, I doubt you will give me the pleasure of that knowledge."

Valkyrie sighed. "Do all dead people, or living dead people swallow a thesaurus when they die? Is it a requirement?" She crossed her arms and deepened her voice. "You shall not be allowed to enter the Underworld until you swallow this book of long, cumbersome, superfluous words!"

Skulduggery snickered. "My wife holds little respect for the higher form of speech."

"Shove it."

He ignored her comment. "What is it that you want?"

Tenebrae sighed. "Mevolent is looking into Vile's apparent death and your apparent resurrection. He has a suspicion that I had a hand in it. After all, you _died_ and yet are still alive. I _was_ the High Priest then. It would be obvious that I would most likely know what went on. Mevolent wants to know if I know who Vile is. Vile was a Necromancer. I am the High Priest of Necromancy. Simple conclusion really. I wanted to warn you. If he calls me, I cannot resist his call."

Valkyrie nodded. "Yes, but you _can_ resist his interrogation. His scepter can't force you to speak."

Tenebrae agreed. "True, however, he might not need my input. Craven is under his control. Melancholia is under some form of restraint. Mevolent doesn't trust her erratic power. An uncontrollable power is useless to him."

Skulduggery nodded. "True, but that doesn't concern me. What concerns me is that Mevolent is trying to find out Vile's identity. Does he have a suspicion? What caused him to start this investigation anyways?"

Tenebrae shrugged. "I am ignorant about his reasoning. If, indeed, he has any."

Skulduggery raised a finger in an admonishing way. "Mevolent always has a reason. Always." He turned to Valkyrie. "We should go. Don't forget to tap those symbols China tattooed on you."

Valkyrie shivered. "Don't worry. All the Dead Men got them, right?"

Skulduggery nodded. "They're completely wraith and remnant proof. So is Tanith."

Valkyrie gave a sigh of relief. They activated the symbols and left the Sanctuary. Skulduggery started the Bentley. They drove home. Valkyrie looked out the window, noticing how strange it was to watch everyone go about their business like nothing bad was about to happen.

Valkyrie frowned. "If Mevolent has control of the wraiths and remnants, then why isn't he attacking the mortals?"

Skulduggery shrugged. "Who knows what he has planned. Hopefully, something will turn up that will give us an edge. Right now, though, I'm dying of curiosity about something else."

Valkyrie looked over at him, her hand on the car handle. Skul parked the car in the driveway. He looked at her. "What was it that you were about to tell me?"

Valkyrie's heart thudded.

 **Um guys…I would like some feedback. A lot of you are writers on this site. How many of you like getting reviews?**

 **I can't see your reactions. I don't know what you laugh at and what you roll your eyes at. It's getting a little lonely.**

 **I'm not going to lecture you guys about reviews. It is a totally optional thing. But, it** _ **is**_ **nice to see what you like about what I've written.**

 **It honestly feels like I'm writing for nothing. I don't think anyone likes that feeling, you know? : /**

 **I just want to know if anyone's reading this, or if I'm wasting my time…**

 **Ink…**


	23. Chapter XXIII

**To those who reviewed, thank you! I truly appreciate it! To those who didn't, I hope you enjoyed what you read. : ) Thank you, everyone. I understand that some of you don't really like certain aspects of this story; however, I hope you can look past that enjoy what you** _ **do**_ **like. Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **Just to give you guys a heads up, I need some…grace about this story. I'm kind of losing steam with it. I've lost the all important spark that an author needs to keep a story alive. I'm trying to find it again. I promise, though, that I will not abandon** _ **Beauty and the Beast**_ **. I will see this story through to the end. I just need to let you know that the chapters may not be of as good a quality as you might be used to.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **Ink…**

Chapter XXIII

Valkyrie stared at Skulduggery and blinked. "Uh…" She frantically searched for something to tell him. "Um…"

The Bentley exploded.

She flew one way.

Skulduggery flew the other way.

Valkyrie could distantly hear the front door slam open as Saracen, Dexter, and Tanith rushed out. Her head buzzed. Shaking it, she tried to get up. Her body throbbed all over.

Not even taking the time to check herself, she tried to stand up. It was a struggle, but she finally managed it. Valkyrie shouted, "Skulduggery!"

She saw a gloved hand wave at her from the whole in the roof of the Bentley. Releasing a breath of relief, she looked around quickly, assessing the situation. Saracen was doing his thing, scanning the area.

The Bentley was the only thing touched. Valkyrie frowned. _Was the bomb in the car?_ Valkyrie was relieved to see that the gas tank wasn't in any danger of blowing up.

Saracen shook his head. "It's just us on the grounds. I can't sense anyone else around."

Skulduggery clambered out of what remained of his car. He stared at it. His face was stony. He was shaking slightly.

 _He must be stunned at how close we came to dying._ Valkyrie limped quickly up to him and took his hand. He didn't look at her. "Skulduggery? It's okay. I'm alright. We're alright."

He didn't reply for a few seconds. But then he spoke. "She's totaled." His voice was monotone. Valkyrie blinked.

Stepping back, Valkyrie stared at him. "Wait, you're more concerned for your car?" Incredulity was in her voice.

Skulduggery continued to stare at the smoking wreckage. "She's been with me for sixty years, and now, she's just… _gone_." There were tears collecting in the corners of his eyes.

Valkyrie stared at her husband. "This can't be happening."

"I loved her almost as much as I loved the hat you burned. Now, I have nothing left."

"I cannot believe you're mourning over your car, when your _wife_ could've been injured." She stared at Skulduggery, but he seemed to be in shock.

She stared at the heap of twisted metal. Limping away slightly, she picked up something and handed it to Skulduggery. "Here." She sighed. She felt bad for the Bentley. It had been through a lot with them, but it was still a _car._ Valkyrie shifted on her feet. Her leg was throbbing. She didn't look down though, much too preoccupied with how Skulduggery was reacting.

Skulduggery looked down at the steering wheel she had put into his hands. It was in perfect condition, weirdly enough. He gave a small noise of heartbreak and continued to stare at his beloved car, what used to be his beloved car.

Valkyrie turned to look at Dexter and Saracen in confusion. This wasn't like Skul. He was being out of character. They shook their heads.

"Wait for it." Was all Saracen said.

Valkyrie stared at him. "Wait for what?"

"THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! I WILL KILL MEVOLENT WITH MY BARE HANDS! I WILL DESTROY SERPINE AND VENGEOUS! THEY WILL REGRET THE DAY THEY EVER THOUGHT OF BLOWING UP MY CAR!"

Valkyrie blinked. "Oh…That." She started to move closer to the car, only for Skulduggery to stop her.

"Wait. There might be another bomb, probably even more dangerous than the first." She froze. Skulduggery looked thoughtful. "Dexter, go and investigate."

"What?!"

Valkyrie just shook her head and peeked inside. "How in the world did they do it? Aren't ghosts suppose to be beyond nature. Outside of matter. They can't touch physical stuff. However they did it, they didn't get inside the car. They must have put a pressure pad on the driveway or something. But how did they know that we would stop right here?"

Skulduggery was still breathing heavily from his outburst. He was seething. His beautiful Bentley was destroyed. Destroyed. This was sacrilege. This was blasphemy. This was _unthinkable._ _No one_ totaled his car. No. One.

He turned to look at Valkyrie for the first time and stared. "Valkyrie!" His voice sounded strangled. He lifted her up gingerly, rushing her to the house.

She glared at him. "What the hell are you doing?! We still need to find out what happened to the car!"

Tanith started cussing. "Val, you're _bleeding_!"

Valkyrie looked down at her leg and nearly choked on her heart. There was a six inch long piece of glass sticking out of her lower thigh. The pain was just started to register in her brain. The shock was wearing off.

She hissed. Skulduggery started shouting instructions. Valkyrie was shouting along with him.

" _Don't_ let Sparrows come in and see this! Saracen check the house! If they could open a car door then they can open a house door! Tanith stay with Sparrows until we call you! Dexter go get that first aid kit in the kitchen cupboard above the sink!"

Skulduggery was growling. "Now, I'll _definitely_ kill them. They blow up my car, they threaten the world peace _yet again_ , and they hurt my wife."

Valkyrie gasped. "Nice…to see…I'm – AH! – _third_ on the…ugh!...billing!" She threw her head back. The pain was noticeable now. Very noticeable. _I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry! I'M NOT GOING TO CRY!_ She hissed and clenched her fists. She could _feel_ the shard of glass scraping against her bone.

Her hands fisted into the sofa as Skulduggery prepared to remove it. Having been in two wars, both knew how to dress and fix _any_ type of trauma wound.

Skulduggery quickly used the supplies in the medical box and fixed her up. Valkyrie and Skulduggery had a Deluxe First Aid Kit, complete with syringes, thread, and surgical needles. Valkyrie was pretty sure that they could perform a successful open heart surgery with what was in that box alone.

 **I blew up the Bentley. I'm such a bad person. ; D Don't worry, Skulduggery would never give up on his beautiful car. He'll have it fixed. Maybe…**

 **Ink…**


	24. Chapter XXIV

**Guys, I'm very sorry. I've been a bit…scattered lately. Again, sorry. I'll post another update today as an apology**

 **Ink...**

Chapter XXIV

When it was over, Valkyrie let her head fall back on the sofa arm. "Skulduggery… What are we going to do now?"

" _We_ are going to do nothing until I get you some medicine from the Sanctuary wards. I'll have Dexter investigate that bombing. I also need to warn the Sanctuary about Mevolent's aspirations of becoming a bomber."

Valkyrie sighed. Sparrows flew down the stairs. "Valkyrie!" The girl rushed to her sister. Valkyrie forced herself to smile when all she wanted to do was insist that it wasn't all that bad and that she was _fine_. She _hated_ being hurt! It made her feel so _helpless_.

"Hey Sparrows." Sparrows had obviously been crying. Valkyrie sighed. She had to prepare her little sister. "Sparrows, a time is coming soon where you're going to see a lot of people, who you love, in pain. Okay, honey? You're going to have to be strong and fight alongside us."

Sparrows sniffled. "But I'm just a nine year old girl!"

Valkyrie shook her head. That Edgley blood. "Sparrows, you're my little sister, right?" She nodded.

"You've been trained by Skulduggery and Tanith, right?" She nodded again.

"Are you Desmond and Melissa's daughter?"

"Yes."

"Then you're strong enough." Valkyrie touched her sister's cheek. "I know you are."

Sparrows nodded solemnly. Her cheeks were striped with tear tracks. Valkyrie gasped slightly when she shifted her body. "Honey, this is going to be a very hard time for you. I know it will, but I trust you. I trust you to be quick, clever, and determined. You're going to have to hit people. You're going to have to fight. There will be creatures that will look frightening, and sound scary, but don't let them overcome your will. You're an Edgley. You're Sparrows Flight."

Sparrows nodded. "Yes, Valkyrie."

Valkyrie smiled. "Skulduggery and I will need your help, okay darling?"

Sparrows straightened. "I won't let you down, Val. I'll do my best."

Valkyrie smiled. "That's all I'm asking for." She kissed her little sister, determined to keep her safe. She was too young to see wraiths and remnants. She was far too young to see anyone die.

"Now, I'm pretty sure that you have homework. Why don't you go and do that and Aunt Tanith will make dinner since I can't."

Tanith quietly began cursing Valkyrie. Valkyrie smirked.

Sparrows nodded slightly. "Okay."

Tanith grinned. "Come on, Captain! Let's go make some dinner. I'll help you with history homework."

The little girl started whining. "Skulduggery, tell her to stop calling me Captain!"

Skulduggery gave a distracted chuckle. "Sparrows, you've got to learn to get used to teasing. Ignore Aunt Tanith. She's just being immature."

Sparrows sighed. Tanith huffed. "I'm never immature!"

Valkyrie started choking and coughing out the word 'liar'. Tanith stuck her tongue out.

Skulduggery just shook his head. "I am living in a world filled with delinquents, immature eighty year old women, and boys with porcupine hair.

Dexter snickered. "Poor Skulduggery. Life must be soo hard on you." He frowned quickly and went out to check the car again. Skulduggery was hovering over Valkyrie, asking her if she needed anything.

Valkyrie was quietly worrying over the condition of the baby. She suddenly felt an overwhelming need to keep the child alive, safe, and secure.

Dexter walked back in. "It wasn't in your car." He showed them the remains of the bomb. "It was on the driveway. The tires caught the trip wire and the bomb underneath the car blew."

Saracen whistled softly. "So even if you didn't park far enough in, you would have trip the wire anyways by approaching the house. It's better that the car was able to take the brunt of the explosion."

Skulduggery nodded. "The last thing she did was save my life. I could never have asked for a better car."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes. "Skulduggery Pleasant…"

He looked at her. "Yes?"

She stared at him and then shook her head. "You are the most infuriating person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and marrying."

He chuckled and kissed her. "I need to go to the Sanctuary again and get some medicine for you. Also, I need to pick up the Canary Car." Valkyrie howled.

Skulduggery laughed quietly as he and Saracen left the house. They were going to use Saracen's car. Dexter shook his head. He looked around. Tanith was in the kitchen with Sparrows.

He sat on the couch armrest. "Val, you're going to need to tell him about the kid."

Valkyrie froze. She sighed. "Who told you?"

Dexter chuckled. "The man who knows things."

She groaned. "I sometimes hate Saracen's mysterious power." Her eyes widened. "He isn't going to tell Skulduggery _now_ , is he?!"

Dexter quickly put her fears to rest. "No. He's waiting for you. But Skulduggery needs to know, Valkyrie, and _soon_."

She sighed. "I didn't want this. The baby will be anything but safe."

Dexter sighed. "He wont let you kill it, you know."

Valkyrie went still. "You honestly think that I would kill my child because of _inconvenience_?" Her voice was cold. Nearly identical to how Darquesse sounded. Dexter shivered.

"No! Nothing like that. I'm sorry. Forget I said something so stupid."

She nodded. "I will." She sighed. "I'll tell him tonight."

He got up off the couch. "That's all I wanted to hear." He quickly left to do a walk through the house.

Valkyrie reclined into the couch. "I'm out of commission. Terrific. All because Skulduggery forgot to wear protection." She growled.

Her eyes closed but snapped open then minute she felt something cold touch her throat. She stared into the white eyes of Mevolent. He was breathing heavily.

"Clever traps. Very intricate wards, but none were good enough for me. It's a pity that I had to come myself to get this job done, but I do like the opportunity to meet you. You must be the famed Valkyrie Cain, present wife of Skulduggery Pleasant."

He smiled. "I'm very tired from fighting the wards. I'd appreciate it if you would answer my questions quickly and give me no need to kill you or rip you to pieces. That can be very messy and this carpet looks expensive." He looked around the house. "You have very good taste."

Valkyrie stared at him. "Thank you." Her mind was screaming at him. _How the hell is he able to touch things?! He's a bloody ghost!_

"Not at all." He looked at her, his white eyes very clearly showed that he was quite insane. "Now, where is Vile. I know he's still alive. I also know that he's tightly intertwined with Skulduggery Pleasant."

Valkyrie felt like bursting out into hysterical laughter. That was one way of putting it. "I won't tell you anything. I'm sorry."

He sighed. "I'm sorry too. You're a very pretty girl. I'd hate to slice that throat of yours." He pulled out a white blade made of some sort of bone. "Unfortunately, I have to torture you myself. My assistants weren't powerful enough to evade the wards." He smiled at her kindly. "This will sting a bit."


	25. Chapter XXV

**Here's the second update! ; )**

 **Ink...**

Chapter XXV

Valkyrie stared at the bone. _Why aren't I screaming? Oh! That's right. Sparrows will come in and Mevolent will hurt her. Damn, I hate have weaknesses._ "What is that?"

He gave her a look.

"Am I not allowed to speak during an interrogation?" She raised an eyebrow.

He chuckled. "No, I just haven't met someone who's curious about the tool for their torture."

Valkyrie shrugged. "I'm a curious person."

He smiled and cut her skin from her shoulder to her elbow. "Good, then that means you have answers. Where is Vile?"

Valkyrie closed her eyes. Tears were creeping from the corners. _A simple cut like that shouldn't hurt so much._ "What is that blade?"

Mevolent smiled. "It's the same poisoned dagger that Serpine used against Skulduggery. I simply need to make you touch the handle if I want you to have the full dose, but the blade will do very nicely."

Valkyrie stiffened. Mevolent smiled. "I smell fear now. _Good_. Where is Vile, dear?"

"He's gone."

"Gone where?"

"He's not real. Only an alter ego."

Mevolent froze. "What?"

Valkyrie nodded. "He was the alter ego of Tenebrae."

Mevolent frowned. "Tenebrae vanished when Vile appeared. I had just assumed he joined the opposing side…" He frowned some more. "Where is Tenebrae?"

Valkyrie shrugged. "How should I know? You've got the scepter. Call him."

He smiled. "Thank you my dear. You have been very helpful. I would kill you, but I need you alive for a little while longer. The perfect bait for your husband, is you." He kissed her on the cheek and vaporized. Valkyrie realized she was shivering. Her body was so cold. Her skin was translucent.

"S-Skul-d-dugger-y… Ta…Dex…h-help…" Her eyes rolled up and she passed out. Her last thoughts were of her baby. How could it possibly survive _this_?! Her heart clenched.

 **Two days later**

Skulduggery paced the hall. Ghastly was watching quietly. He held Tanith's hand. Tanith was pale and shaking. Her normally strong persona was shattered. Valkyrie had been discovered when they heard Sparrows scream from the living room.

Dexter had called Skulduggery and the detective had rushed to the medical wing, waiting for them to come. Now, Nye was with her. They had grabbed the slime ball a few years ago. It had been trying to clone mortals and program their brains.

Skulduggery was frantic. They had no idea who did this to Valkyrie. They didn't know what the weapon was. They had nothing to go on.

The former Skeleton Detective all but pounced on Nye when the creature exited the surgery. "Well?!"

"Mr. Pleasant, I must ask you to release my collar. You are wrinkling my coat."

"To _hell_ with your coat. TELL ME ABOUT MY WIFE!"

It blinked. "She is stable. You were very close with changing positions with her. She very nearly became a skeleton. I have recognized the symptoms. The weapon was a bone blade. It is made from human bone.

"A necromancer's tool, it usually is used in rituals to animate the dead. However, with certain alterations to the spells, it can transform the living into a form of the living dead, very similar to you. Magic is indeed interesting in how it mixes with science." Nye would have said more, but Skulduggery started strangling it.

Ghastly and Erksine pulled him away from the creature. "Thank you, doctor. Is she stable now?"

Nye coughed and glared at Skulduggery, who looked supremely unrepentant. "Yes, she is both completely human and stable." He coughed again and left.

Skulduggery rushed into the room. "Valkyrie?"

She smiled at him. "Skulduggery Pleasant…I dare say, you look more upset than when the Bentley blew up."

He chuckled slightly. It was forced. "I am. I just received news that it will take four months to have it fixed. Four months in the Canary Car. That's enough to make everyone upset, don't you think?"

Valkyrie groaned. "On second thought, I don't want to wake up yet. Put me back under."

Skulduggery's smile faded. "Valkyrie, who did this to you?"

She stiffened. "Mevolent was powerful enough to get through the wards. Only him, he mentioned something about his assistants not being able to." Her eyes widened. "Skulduggery, he was able to _touch me_! How? Aren't ghosts suppose to be…unable to do that?"

Skulduggery growled. "He did this to you?"

Valkyrie nodded. "Skulduggery wait! That's not all. I-" She stared at the others. "I want to speak with my husband alone."

They nodded and left.

She pulled him weakly closer to her. "I had to tell him that Vile was an alter ego, but I told him that it was Tenebrae's ego."

Skulduggery paused and thought it through. "Brilliant. Mixing both truth and lies together. Perfectly done, darling." He kissed her.

Valkyrie sighed. "I also asked Nye something important. Skulduggery…I um…I'm pregnant."

He stopped moving.

"Skul?"

"…"

"Skulduggery?"

"…"

"Oh dear. I think you just broke." She poked his cheek. "Skulduggery?"

No response.

She sighed and thought of something. "I have pictures of it. I still don't know the gender yet, but Nye assured me that whatever Mevolent did to me, the baby wasn't affected. It's a miracle really." She looked at him. He nodded. "Oh good, you back with me again."

"Uh…."

She sighed and shook her head. "Where did that quick witted detective go? They just don't make detective husbands like they used to. I'm afraid I'll have to return this one at the nearest department store." She tutted.

Skulduggery blinked and looked at her. "You're pregnant. Did this whole thing injure the child at all?"

Valkyrie sighed and started repeating herself.

Skulduggery was paused again. Valkyrie snuggled into her bed and decided to sleep.

She sighed and closed her eyes. Everything was quiet, calm, peaceful. Her mind was buzzing with the drugs she'd been given and the questions she had. But everything seemed so far away. Too distant to concern her.

Valkyrie smiled. Her husband was alive. Her baby was healthy. Her little sister was alive. Everything was fine. She just entered a sleep wake state when…

"I'M A FATHER!"

"AHHHHH!" She fell out of her bed. Her heart monitor was racing.


	26. Chapter XXVI

Chapter XXVI

 **Hey! So…this is going to be a little PG-18-ish because I realized that I was focusing on plot development and not fluff. Fluff was the whole reason I started this story! So here you go. Fluff.**

 **Ink…**

It had been 48 hours since Mevolent attacked Valkyrie. They hadn't had anymore sightings of any dark ghosts, as Erskine was starting to call them. The Sanctuary was plaguing the Necromancers for answers about bone blades and how Mevolent was able to touch things of the living realm. So far, the Necromancers had nothing to give them, but they were researching into it.

Everything and everyone seemed to be holding a breath. Waiting for something else to happen. The Elders, China especially, _hated_ being left out of things. China was calling in all the solids and searching for answers the illegal way. Nothing was turning up. Mevolent was quiet.

That was possibly the scariest thing of all. A calm before the storm.

Meanwhile, Skulduggery was vibrating around the house all day. He was rushing around checking all the wards to make sure Mevolent hadn't tampered with them. China was trying to figure out how to make stronger wards. Her students were helping her.

The Dead Men were in full 'I'm an Uncle! Must protect the Mother from evil coffee pots!' mode. Valkyrie was trying to ignore the hovering and focus on preparing Sparrows with what was to come. She was also continuing to take care of a house full of adult infants all the while convalescing from her transformation.

That night Skulduggery carried her to bed. Saracen was watching Sparrows. Tanith was making rounds on the upper floors while Dexter was making the rounds on the bottom floors. Ghastly was standing outside the doors of Skulduggery and Valkyrie's room.

Poor man.

Valkyrie sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, Skulduggery. I was scared. I wanted to fight but I also wanted to keep the baby safe and Sparrows."

He smiled and kissed her jaw. "I understand. Don't worry." He gave her a stern stare. "Just don't keep me out next time. Before, I was just your partner, but now I'm your husband. Things are slightly different."

She nodded. "I understand." He smiled and began to kiss her up and down her throat. She gave a light sigh. "It feels like it's been ages since we've had any time together."

Skulduggery grunted, too busy re-exploring his wife's body to give a fitting answer. Valkyrie soon found thinking to be impossible. Skulduggery stripped her and himself. She smiled up at him.

"I love you, Skulduggery Pleasant."

He smiled. "Well of course you do. Who wouldn't?"

She laughed and then frowned. "Skul…"

"Hmm?" He started nibbling at her clavicle. She closed her eyes and smiled slightly. It felt good. He licked her from ear to her elbow and blew on it. She shivered and gave a soft moan. It was good to finally relax. Even if it seemed fake relaxation. They were going to be busy fighting. They needed this.

"When…when did you first realize that I wasn't just a…partner to you?"

He paused in thought. "I suppose it was when you left. All the times before that, I was able to convince myself that our bond was from partnership. However, when you left, I felt a part of my mind went with you." He kissed her from her inner thigh to her lips.

They parted. He breathed. "I couldn't think. I wasn't as efficient. I was constantly cranky. I took only the cases that genuinely interested me, or if Erskine ordered me to. It was when you called me that I realized I loved you."

Valkyrie smiled. "I'm a faster learner than you. I knew I loved you the minute I broke up with Fletcher." She pulled him to her and kissed him. They set a lazy pace. She nibbled his lips and kissed him passionately. She missed this. They needed this moment of stress relief.

When they parted, Skulduggery blinked. "What?"

She laughed. Quickly, she hooked her leg and flipped their positions. She started tracing his muscles lightly with her fingernails. He writhed under her touch and hissed out in breath.

"Stop it!"

She smiled innocently. "Stop what? Don't you like it?"

He looked at her and then smiled. "You've caused a problem."

Valkyrie looked below her. "Oh my…" She widened her dark eyes and smiled sweetly. "Oops."

Skulduggery rolled his eyes. "I've trained you how to be a problem solver, haven't I?"

She nodded. "Yes."

He smirked. "Well then, kiss it and make it better."

She chuckled. "How about I just draw you a nice cold shower instead?" She moved to get off of him, but he grabbed her and pushed her back onto the bed.

The rest is personal.

Poor Ghastly.

 **The next morning**

Tanith entered the kitchen. "Hey everyone! How was yo-"

She got no further. Ghastly grabbed her, wrapped his arms around her slim waist, and bent her backwards. The kiss her gave her was the kiss of the century. Skulduggery boggled. Dexter gave a wolf whistle. Saracen blinked and then stared slack jaw at Anton, who only gave a small smile.

Ghastly broke the kiss. He helped an unsteady Tanith upright again and then huffed. "I am _never_ going to have a shift outside those two's door _again_!"

Valkyrie blinked. Her eyes grew wide, and her skin became deep red. Skulduggery started laughing. Dexter snickered and started cracking sex jokes and innuendoes and generally acting like a male soldier.

She hit him with a spatula. Everything became less…crass when Sparrows entered the room with Saracen quietly following her inside the kitchen. Sparrows' eyes narrowed.

"I've missed something?" Saracen looked around after she said that and then nodded.

"Yeah, what'd we miss?"

Valkyrie smiled and straightened her coffee cup and leaned into Skulduggery's side. "What makes you say that?"

"Dexter is holding a spatula and is nursing a fresh black eye. Tanith is flushed and so are you." Sparrows said nonchalantly.

Saracen took over. "Ghastly is, for once in his celibate life, is eyeing Tanith hungrily, plus he has lipstick on his lips. And Anton is actually _smirking_."

Sparrows nodded. "Not to mention that no one has taken a bite of their food yet, meaning talking and/or staring has been the predominant event while we were absent."

Valkyrie sighed. "That is it! Skulduggery Pleasant, that is the last time you are teaching her English. She is learning far too many vocabulary words!"

Sparrows smirked.

Tanith gasped. "She's even developing his smirk!"

Skulduggery looked proud of his accomplishments.


	27. Chapter XXVII

Chapter XXVII

Valkyrie sighed and tried to get up from the table. Tanith was faster. She took the napkin thankfully. She frowned when she couldn't find a cup and moved to get up and get one from the cupboard. Ghastly was already there, handing her one. She sighed and accepted it from him.

Valkyrie exhaled heavily. Skulduggery looked down at her in concern. "Something wrong honey?" He was getting her more eggs and toast.

Valkyrie shrugged. "I just can't stand not being able to do things for myself."

Skulduggery nodded sagely. "That's just because you're still healing. By the end of the day, you'll be able to move around the house again."

Valkyrie looked over at Sparrows, who was talking with Anton about Egyptian funeral ceremonies. "And what about the time after that?" She turned her gaze on Skulduggery. "Will you let me fight? I refuse to stand by and watch helplessly from the sidelines. I'm a fighter. A soldier!"

Skulduggery sighed. "You're a mother. You're pregnant. How would you feel if you fought anyways and then received a kick in the stomach? How would you feel getting told by your doctor that the baby was dead? Guilty? Shame? Knowing that you could have prevented it, but you chose not to?! Valkyrie Cain, you are an adult! Human life is far more important than your own wishes and feelings!"

Valkyrie was still. Skulduggery rarely shouted _at_ her in anger or frustration. He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"No. No, you're right. I'm being stupid." She swallowed. It was hard to get out. "I'm the one who's sorry, Skulduggery. I'll…" She set her fork down. "I'll find something to do to help with the war." She shrugged. "Maybe they need help…" Her voice faded.

Tanith cleared her throat and spoke up gently. "China has said that they need help in defense. You're a good strategist; you could help them in defense."

Dexter grinned. "Yeah. I might join you in that."

Anton smirked. "China will probably give you the job to dole out missions. You'd be Skulduggery's boss. You'd be telling the leader of the Dead Men what to do."

Valkyrie's lips twitched. She spoke gruffly. "Fine! Stop trying to coddle me and comfort me! I'll help with defense."

Skulduggery chuckled. "The only reason you're good at strategy is because of me."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes. "The only strategy _you_ know is: Find enemy. Point. Blow them up with Gun or Fire. Repeat steps one to three."

Dexter snickered. Saracen smirked.

Skulduggery gave a long suffering sigh. "What did I ever do to deserve such mental torment? No respect that I deserve…none."

Valkyrie smiled a genuine smile. "You weren't complaining about amount of respect I gave you last night."

"You really weren't." Ghastly shook his head. He had a poker face on.

Dexter lost it. He started howling with laughter. Skulduggery shook his head and muttered something about mutiny and no respect for husbands and leaders.

Anton frowned. "Wait a minute... Doesn't Erskine outrank you now? He's an Elder. Shouldn't he be in charge of the Dead Men?"

Valkyrie froze and stared. "Wow…"

Saracen looked at Ghastly, who was biting his lip to keep from laughing at Skulduggery's face. Erskine was quietly smirking.

Skulduggery straightened. "No. I outrank him by one very important thing."

Sparrows blinked up at him. "What's that?"

He smiled at her benevolently. "I have style. All great leaders have impeccable sense of style." Erskine's shout of outrage was ignored.

Ghastly hid his smirk. "Considering that I make all your clothes, _and_ I'm an Elder as well, doesn't that mean _I_ should be the leader of the Dead Men?"

Skulduggery gave him a wounded look. "No."

Saracen leaned forward. "Why not?"

"Because I said so." He stood up and walked over to the sink. The whole table burst into a fit of giggles. Valkyrie made eye contact with Tanith. To an outside observer, this would seem strange, silly even, but they understood it. This was the camaraderie within the Dead Men. These men were like brothers.

Valkyrie smiled. Forgetting herself, for a moment, she got up to refill her teacup. Her legs collapsed from under her.

"Valkyrie!"

"I'm fine! I'm fine." Skulduggery helped her up and carried her outside to the nearest sofa. "I just forgot. Skulduggery, relax. I'm fine."

He nodded. She took his hands gently in hers. "Mevolent won't get to me again. China's upgraded the Sanctuary's defense. They're even more impenetrable than ours. Skul, relax. I'll be staying there more often as the war progresses. I'll be fine."

Skulduggery nodded. All his men had stayed in the kitchen, giving them privacy. "I just…it was around Sparrows' age. Michael…I just _watched_ as Serpine killed my wife and child. Sparrows is like my own daughter! I couldn't…I _won't_ …" He shook his head. "I won't let him take my second family away. And if Elysia has truly changed, then I won't let her succeed either. _You_ are my family. _You_ are my life. _You_ are the only reason I _am_ alive now! I couldn't…I can't…"

Valkyrie smiled sadly and kissed him. "You won't."

"How can you be so sure?" His voice was faint. He sounded as close to uneasy as she had ever heard him.

Valkyrie smiled gently at him. "I'm too pretty to die. Don't worry, Skulduggery Pleasant. A way has always presented itself to us. We aren't beaten yet. The war hasn't even begun."

Sparrows screamed.

Valkyrie's heart stopped. "Why in hell did I say those words?"

Skulduggery was already rushing to the kitchen. "I have no idea, Valkyrie. I would have liked to think that you've learned your lesson by now about tempting fate!" He kicked the door open and saw-

 **Reviews anyone? Please? This is getting, ever so slightly, discouraging… Do you guys just not like this story anymore? (sob…)**

 **Ink…**


	28. Chapter XXVIII

Chapter XXVIII

-Saracen and Dexter grappling with Tanith over a…camera phone. He groaned. "What the _hell_ are you doing?! I thought a wraith had attacked you?!"

Dexter huffed and grabbed Tanith's wrist. "This _brat_ took a photo of me in a- urgh- embarrassing position!"

Skulduggery looked at Anton, who shrugged. "Dexter was sticking his finger into Saracen's mouth to get his latchkey back. His eyes were closed in concentration and slightly disgust. The photo made it look slightly…erotic. Tanith showed them, and they want it deleted. She refused and attempted blackmail."

Valkyrie's voice came from the living room. "Skulduggery! What's going on?! ARGH! I _hate_ being an invalid!"

Skulduggery just shook his head again and walked out. "Dexter and Saracen are fighting over Tanith's camera phone. Incriminating evidence of an embarrassing degree."

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow.

Skulduggery shrugged. "I have no idea how Dexter's latchkey got into Saracen's mouth. I honestly have no desire to learn."

She blinked. "What?"

"Don't ask."

"Okay." She nestled against Skulduggery's side. "Has the Sanctuary found out anything of use?"

"Yes, they've discovered that the Necromancers are completely useless."

Valkyrie snickered. "Be nice, Skulduggery." She sighed and looked at her phone. "What about the seers?"

He sighed. "They can't see anything except death and decay."

Valkyrie snorted. "Considering that this is going to be a war with the dead, I'm not surprised."

Skulduggery grunted. "I need to go visit Nye. I have a hunch I'd like to check up on."

Valkyrie sighed. "I'd be going with you if it wasn't for this idiocy." She gestured to herself.

Skulduggery kissed her. "Relax, I won't be doing anything exciting."

"Naw, you're only going to investigate the possibility of using the Death Coach to our favor."

Skulduggery smirked. "And _that_ is why you are my wife and partner."

"Gimpy partner."

"Valkyrie, enough. This is not permanent."

She sighed and nodded. "Go." She waved him away, but then she gave him a sharp glance. "But come back soon."

He nodded and left. Dexter walked in. He was wiping his hands with a tower. "Ugh…that is _the_ most disgusting thing I had to do in a long time."

Valkyrie blinked. "Please tell me you washed your hands before using that towel."

Dexter nodded. "Yes, yes. I did." He plopped down on the couch beside her. "Sooo…" He slung an arm around her shoulders. His smile was blinding. "What's junior going to be called?"

Sparrows shouted from the kitchen, "WHAT MAKES YOU ASSUME THE BABY'S GOING TO BE A BOY! SEXIST!"

Saracen bolted out of the kitchen waving an apple. "George! George is the perfect name!"

Erskine was putting his coat on and shook his head. "Not that name! The Americans ruined it!" He smiled. " _I_ have the perfect name. Maximillian!"

Valkyrie wrinkled her nose at that. So did Tanith. The woman shook her head. "Nope. The winner is Crista, if it's a girl, and Jack if it's a boy!"

Erskine scoffed and walked out of the house. "Jack! _Springheeled Jack_ anyone?!" He slammed the door. Tanith huffed.

Anton tapped Valkyrie on the shoulder and quietly said, "Toby for a boy. Beth for a girl."

Dexter was laughing softly. "This kid's going to be the offspring of Skulduggery and Valkyrie! Those names are too gentle!"

Anton glared at Dexter. "Oh? What's _your_ suggestion then?!"

Valkyrie was staring at everyone. _Where's Skulduggery when I need him?_

Dexter smirked. "Vincent or Thalia."

Valkyrie growled. She opened her mouth, but everyone paused when Gordon shouted. "David or Samantha!"

Valkyrie hissed out a breath. "OUT! EVERYONE OUT OF THE ROOM! NOW!"

As soon as the door closed, Valkyrie slipped off the couch and crawled over to the stairs. She dragged herself up. _How humiliating!_ She hissed slightly and pulled herself into her uncle's study.

"Stephanie! What in the world are you doing?!"

She chuckled breathlessly. "Cleaning the floors. I've found that this is the most efficient way." She hauled herself into a chair. "Enough of the baby name nonsense, Uncle!"

She fixed him with a stern glare. "Tell me, how large can a Soul Catcher be? And can they be upgraded to catch Wraiths?"


	29. Chapter XXIX

**Sorry for not updating sooner. I actually just got back from work. I hope you guys find this worth the wait. : )**

 **Ink…**

Chapter XXIX

Skulduggery came into his house and witnessed everyone shouting at each other. His wife was in the middle of it, for once, silent.

He raised an eyebrow. "Care to explain what is going on?"

Valkyrie gave a sob of relief. "Skulduggury Pleasant…" She took a breath. "TELL YOUR BLOODY FRIENDS TO STOP GIVING ME BABY NAME SUGGESTIONS THIS INSTANT!"

He blinked and then started chuckling. He shook his head and took off his hat and coat. Sitting gracefully down beside his wife, he smirked. "I'm afraid Valkyrie and I have already chosen them."

Valkyrie looked at him in confusion. "We have?"

He nodded. "Yes. We have."

Valkyrie suddenly remembered a conversation they had once about baby names. It was way before they married. It was before even Darquesse had come to call.

She smiled. "Levi for a boy."

Skulduggery nodded. "And Scarlett for a girl."

No one spoke for a moment and then Saracen just shook his head. "You're wrong. George or Georgiana."

Everyone started shouting again. Skulduggery vented a small sigh. He drew his gun and clicked off the safety catch. Everyone went silent and froze. They stared at him.

He spoke quietly. "Saracen, do your rounds of the ground floor. Dexter, do the second floor. Tanith, it's your turn to escort Sparrows. Ghastly, you and Erskine, go to the Sanctuary and see if you can talk some sense into the Necromancers. They're calling Mevolent the Death Bringer."

Erskine blinked and then his jaw went slack. "Don't tell me that they're going to _work_ with him?!"

Skulduggery nodded. "I won't tell you then."

Ghastly started muttering a few choiced words. He covered Sparrows ears as he spoke them.

Valkyrie sighed and shook her head. "Skul, even if we go to war, how are we going to kill what's already _dead_?"

Skulduggery Pleasant took a breath. "We don't. There's only one way for us to defeat Mevolent."

Dexter smiled and looked around at the Dead Men Crew. "Steal the scepter back from Mevolent."

Skulduggery nodded slowly. "And to do that we need to locate him."

Valkyrie shook her head. "None of the living can go to the place of the dead."

Skulduggery nodded. "That's why I've enlisted Hopeless and a few others to do the task for us. We gather the information and do everything that requires hands on approach. China and the Sanctuary will distract Mevolent and his generals while we sneak around trying to locate the scepter. Once we have it's location, Hopeless' squad will move in and take control of it."

Ghastly nodded. "Erskine, we should go." They left quickly.

Skulduggery sighed and shook his head. Mevolent will undoubtedly look for Vile."

Dexter blinked. "But you killed Vile."

Saracen frowned. "Obviously not, since Mevolent is looking for Vile, that means Vile isn't in the Underworld."

Skulduggery nodded slowly. "And he will go looking for me since I was the last person who saw him."

Valkyrie hissed out a breath. "While you and the Dead Men fool around with the dead, I'll be doing strategy." She huffed. "Whoopee…"

Skulduggery smiled and kissed her lightly on her lips. "Easy there, love. You're surviving for two now."

Valkyrie sighed and nodded.

 **Elementary School, Haggard, Ireland**

Sparrows sighed and sipped her chocolate milk sulkily. She looked over at the other tables that were filled with children. They were all laughing and talking together. She sighed. _I'm not a nerd. I'm not a fashion girl. I'm stuck in between two worlds._ She sighed. _All I want is a friend._

Sparrows quickly removed all traces of sadness from her face when Tanith walked up again. "Hey Captain! I got permission to stalk you from class to class."

Sparrows chuckled. "Sweet." She toyed with her broccoli. "You won't tell on me if I don't eat this, right?"

Tanith crossed her heart. "Never."

The girl grinned and put a napkin on top of her tray. She got up and dump it in the trash, leaving the tray on top of the others.

Stuffing her hands into her pockets, Sparrows moved quietly out of the noisy cafeteria. Alone. Except with Tanith as her shadow. She sighed quietly.

 _I guess I was just born lonely. Valkyrie was too…_

Shaking those thoughts away, she went to the library and decided to do research on her project. After fifteen minutes, Sparrows decided to take a short stretching break. She looked over and saw the Principal. Sparrows shuddered. "He's having an affair with the PE teacher."

Tanith blinked. "Seriously? How do you know?"

Alice shrugged. "They look at each other too often for it to be normal. Also, they left the bathrooms at the same time and she had white stuff on the hem of her blouse." Sparrows' knowing look made Tanith realize that the young girl understood far more of Dexter and Saracen's conversations than she let on. Tanith made a mental note to kill those two for corrupting her Captain.

"Okay, that's disgusting."

Sparrows shrugged. "It's the truth. The truth never changes no matter if we like it or not. Truth is the one constant in our lives."

Tanith chuckled. "There are quite a few people out there who would disagree with you kiddo."

Sparrows shrugged again. "Whatever. Truth and Death are constants." She frowned and focused on her power point. "Why am I in fifth grade? Everyone else my age is in forth."

Tanith smiled. "Because you've inherited your…" Her smile froze. Tanith coughed. "You're smart, Sparrows. Your dad was very intelligent."

Sparrows sighed. "You were going to slip up and call Skulduggery my father, weren't you?"

Tanith sighed and shook her head. "Yeah, anyway, Skulduggery taught you the basics of using a knife, right?"

Sparrows nodded. Tanith smiled. "Good. Here's a small switchblade. It's illegal on school grounds so don't get caught."

Sparrows smirked. "How mature of you! Giving a nine year old a switch blade."

Tanith snorted. "Don't give me no sass, lass!"

Sparrows' lips twisted into a genuine smile. Tanith was worried that the girl was growing up way too fast. Her eyes were becoming guarded too quickly. Her smiles and laughter had faded into the past. Tanith sighed. "Better do you project while you still have lunch."

Sparrows nodded and turned back to her work. She worked until the bell rang and then she gathered her books and folders and bolted for her English class.


	30. Chapter XXX

Chapter XXX

 **Four hours later**

Sparrows sighed. They were in parking lot. She had to stay a while after school to work on her project. It was getting too distracting at home. Sparrows had stayed until the library closed.

She heard a grunt and turned to look at Tanith. "Tan-" She froze.

Tanith was struggling with two men. They looked inhuman. "RUN! RUN NOW!"

Sparrows turned to run but faced person who was completely grey. She heard Tanith scream in pain. Sparrows ducked away from the arm and turned to see Tanith impaling one man with her sword. The man screamed and writhed away. Light was coming from his wound. Tanith kicked the other man away and pursued the wounded person. She decapitated him and stabbed his heart, turning quickly to block the attack of the second man.

"Sparrows, RUN NOW!"

Sparrows felt her skin prickle. She screamed and ducked just in time to avoid the grey creature from touching her. These things were _frightening_! Sparrows wanted to hide. She wanted to run and never look back, but Tanith! She couldn't leave her!

The creature shot it's hand out fast and grabbed her wrist. Sparrows screamed in absolute agony. She had never felt that amount of pain in all of her nine years of life. She twisted and pulled and writhed but the grey monster wouldn't let her go.

Sparrows glared at it. She growled deep and guttural. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tanith slump to the ground. Her head cracked open.

Everything stopped.

Reality sunk in.

Sparrows Flight was alone with two monsters who _defeated_ Tanith Low.

Tanith…

"Tanith?" Her voice was quiet. The grey monster let go of her. She scampered to towards the body of her friend. "Tanith!" She didn't feel a heart beat. "TANITH!" Sparrows felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest.

Invasive.

Agonizing. Terrifying.

Suffocating. Desolate.

Sparrows swallowed down the bile of panic rising up her throat. She felt the creatures walk closer to her. She growled. She was mad.

She was angry.

Sparrows Flight was furious.

"You took my friend away from me. My only friend in this world." She stood up and looked at them. "You killed my only friend."

The man shrugged. "It's war. That's what happens. You're my prisoner now."

Sparrows shook her head. "No. No, you need to die." She spoke as if it were a solution to a math problem. Sparrows lifted her hands slightly.

The man chuckled. "What are you going to do? Hmm? You're not even trained."

Sparrows smiled a dark smile. It showed her teeth. Her lips were twisted into a snarl. "I don't need training to kill you." The man's eyes bulged. He gasped. Sparrows clenched her fists. "I only need rage."

The grey creature rushed forward only to be caught in a type of force field. Sparrows' smile widened. Her brown eyes were almost black.

Dark grey mist curled out of the ground and wrapped around the man. He was writhing on the ground gasping for breath. Her fingers uncurled suddenly and spread wide.

The man screamed and splattered. The tendrils of shadow had ripped him to pieces. The grey creature too, had been destroyed in the same way. It didn't make a sound though.

Sparrows blinked. The mists retreated to the ground. She took one look at what she had done and promptly got sick.

Wiping her mouth, Sparrows ran to Tanith. "Come back. Come back! YOU'RE NOT DONE YET! COME BACK TO THE LIVING! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE!" Her voice was raw. She started checking the wound and doing CPR. The commotion had finally attracted the attention of the mortals. An ambulance roared up.

Paramedics gently nudged her out of the way. Sparrows dully watched as her only friend was put on a stretcher and rushed off out of her sight.

The police were there. They tried asking her questions about the bodies, but she didn't respond. She couldn't. They were mortal. Valkyrie would be angry if she told mortals about magic.

 _Valkyrie's going to be angry anyway for killing that man._ Sparrows took a breath. No matter how much oxygen she inhaled, it seemed that not enough was getting to her lungs. _Do I have a hole in my throat?_ Sparrows started giggling slightly at the ludicrous thought.

She didn't notice the orange blanket that a person wrapped around her. She only could stare at the blood on the cement. She didn't notice someone attending to her burn.

 _I'm a murderer? I murdered a murderer. How does that work? Did I execute them? I was angry. My intentions weren't for justice but revenge. Skully does a lot of revenge. I heard Valkyrie talking to him one time about it. If he does revenge, then could I? Do I even want to do this again? Stupid me! I'm in the middle of an invisible war, of course I'm going to have to fight again. I can't keep slipping into this post-traumatic shocks._

Sparrows pulled herself out of her daze and shoved all her emotions into a corner of her mind. She would deal with them later, but not now. She looked around and realized that she was in a hospital.

"Excuse me?"

The nurse jumped and turned. She smiled a bright smile. "Oh! You're talking now. Hi! My name's Sarah. What can I do for you?"

Sparrows looked at her. "Am I in the A&E?"

She nodded.

"My friend, the tall woman with blonde hair. How is she?"

The nurse's smile faltered. "Her situation is stable. That's all I'm allowed to tell you right now. Do you know who her relations are?"

"She hasn't got any." The answer came out toneless and dull.

"Oh. And you?"

"V-umm…" Sparrows thought for a second. Her sister's mortal name? "My older sister is Stephanie. Stephanie Edgley. I'm Alice Edgley. My brother-in-law is…" Her eyes widened. "Um…"

"Take your time honey, shock often makes it hard to remember things."

 _I'm no longer in shock, you ninny._ Sparrows kept her commentary to herself. "Could you contact my sister? Please?"

The nurse smiled. "Of course, dear."

Sparrows took a deep breath. _The war's actually started now._


	31. Chapter XXXI

**Thank you guys, so much for your reviews. I feel bad for complaining. I admit, it's hard to keep the big picture. The number of reviews has now hit the big 100 mark! Thank you so much! I admit that I'm losing steam on this story. I might need a few weeks off to get back the spark. I'll let you guys know. Thank you again, so much for ya'lls support!**

 **Ink...**

Chapter XXXI

Valkyrie rushed to her little sister. "Sp- Alice!" She scooped her up and held her tightly. Skulduggery was talking with the doctor.

"Is she alright?"

The doctor nodded. "She's in a state of shock. Completely understandable. Her wrist was badly burned, a second degree burn. I've written down everything that you need to do for it."

Skulduggery nodded. "Thank you."

Valkyrie was holding Sparrows. Skulduggery quickly moved and relieved his wife of the nine year old's weight.

Valkyrie looked at the doctor earnestly. "And Tanith?"

He looked at the file and saw that they were under the slot as family. Nodding to himself, he answered her question. "She is stable, but she's still unconscious. The woman has a tenacious grip on life."

Sparrows frowned in thought, but she continued listening to the doctor.

"Her cranium is fractured. We don't fully know the extent of the damage she might have sustained as of yet. The rest of her is fine, though. She too, sustained second degree burns. They are being treated now." He tried to smile reassuringly and left the waiting room.

Skulduggery sighed. "I'll Ghastly and tell him the details. You should take Alice home."

Valkyrie nodded. "We can talk about it more in the morning."

"No."

She looked at her husband. "What?"

"We need to know as soon as possible. Whatever Sparrows saw, could be important. We need to know."

"Skulduggery, she's in shock! She can't answer questions now!"

"She must and she will." Skulduggery's voice was final. Valkyrie knew she shouldn't argue anymore.

"I don't mind." Her little sister's voice was soft. She was clutching tightly to Skulduggery's jacket. "I can try and answer any questions you have, Skul."

He smiled and kissed her temple. "That's my girl." He looked at Valkyrie. "I need to alert the Sanctuary that a clean up has to be done soon."

She nodded mutely. She didn't want her little sister to stop smiling. She didn't want Sparrows to have Valkyrie's laugh. A cynical, jaded laugh. She didn't want Sparrows to be used to a world filled with blood and violence. She didn't want Sparrows to be like…her.

But in war, it couldn't be avoided.

Valkyrie took Sparrows' hand and left the hospital. Skulduggery was on the phone, talking to Ghastly. Skulduggery would wait there for him.

Valkyrie helped Sparrows get into the Canary Car. She drove the hideous car home. Both were very subdued.

They entered the house. The Dead Men were silent. They didn't ask any questions, while Valkyrie went up stairs to her little sister's room to help Sparrows change her clothes.

They didn't ask any questions until Sparrows was on the couch, curled into Anton's side.

In the end, Sparrows spoke first. "Is all killing wrong?"

The Dead Men looked around hesitantly. It was Anton who spoke first. "No. Sometimes it's very necessary."

She looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears. "I killed the grey one and the other guy. I killed them both, with magic."

Valkyrie bit her lip and moved closer to Sparrows. "The grey one is call a wraith. He's not even considered human. The other two men you saw were warlocks. They twist humans and changed them into monsters that we call wraiths. So, in a way, you set the wraith free of torment, and you punished those two men for their cruelty."

Sparrows nodded. "I didn't even think. I just…I was angry. They hurt Tanith. They tried to take away my only friend. I wanted to hurt them back."

Dexter sighed. "That's pretty much how everyone feels, Sparrows."

Anton held the little girl tighter against him. "None of us enjoy killing people. Did you enjoy it?"

"I got sick."

Saracen nodded. "I did too, when I killed my first human. He was on the opposite side of the war. He was siding with Mevolent. I had to do it, but that didn't help my nausea."

Dexter coughed. "I was in a slump for two days. I kept thinking that I wasn't completely human now that I deprived another human of their most basic right. The right to live."

Valkyrie sighed. "Sparrows, you didn't enjoy killing. That's one point in your favor. You also focused your rage on the right person. You didn't lash out at the mortals. You lashed out at the person who was at fault. Release your guilt and learn from it. Don't let it hold you back. Don't _ever_ let your past hold you back." Her voice was urgent.

Sparrows looked up and saw ghosts flitting in Valkyrie's eyes. _What has my sister seen that makes her look so haunted?_ Sparrows didn't really want to know.

She had too many ghosts now of her own.

War was hell.

Dexter's phone rang. "Hello?" His face tightened. "I understand…Got it…Okay, I'll tell the others…Yes…don't worry, Skulduggery. I'll keep them both safe…Okay…yeah." He hung up.

He looked at everyone. "Mevolent's army appeared out of nowhere. They're attacking the mages and magics in Ireland. Guerilla warfare. Hundreds have been killed already. China's calling all to run to the Sanctuary's defenses."

Anton hissed out a breath. "Our orders?"

"Saracen and Anton are to stay here to guard Valkyrie and Sparrows. The rest of us are heading to the hospital to escort Tanith and Skulduggery and Ghastly to the Sanctuary Hospital."

Anton sighed. "Another war has begun. Will we ever see peace?"

No one had an answer to that.


	32. Chapter XXXII

Chapter XXXII

 **Two weeks into war**

Sparrows winced as another explosion happened. Mevolent had commandeered Kenspeckle's ghost and had forced him to invent weapons again. The ensuing attacks were even more destructive. China was at her wit's end trying to find enough spells and wards to keep the damage at bay.

She looked over the wall. Valkyrie shouted, "STEADY! HOLD YOUR POSITION! HOLD THE WALL!"

Sparrows cried out when another explosion happened near her. Valkyrie turned away from talking to China to shout at her. "For heaven's sake, get inside you idiot!"

Sparrows nodded and scampered inside. She had only been curious to see the new forces. Mevolent's army grew each day and never dwindled. Ghosts can't die.

The only respite they had was daytime. Most ghosts, and other such monsters, weren't strong enough to withstand light.

Three hours later, Sparrows breathed a sigh of relief when the Sunrise Bugle sounded. She rushed back to the wall to see if the Dead Men would come back. Valkyrie joined her silently.

China sighed. "They aren't scheduled to return for another two days minimum, girls."

Valkyrie sighed and nodded. "I know, I just…" Her eyes were filled with subdued terror. She hid it before Sparrows could see.

"Will Tanith come back with them?"

Valkyrie smiled. Tanith had woken up and had actually broken out of the hospital and into Valkyrie's house. She refused to be bed ridden.

Valkyrie smoothed Sparrows' black hair and smiled. "I'm sure that they'll all come home, Sparrows."

The younger girl smiled.

 **POV Change**

Skulduggery ducked behind a wrecked car and cursed. "Saracen, where are you?!" He growled.

Suddenly, the whole street rumbled and the ghosts paused. Skulduggery held his breath.

White light broke through the broken streets. The ghosts screamed in agony and fear as they got sucked into spheres hidden under the stones on the streets in Roarhaven.

Dexter popped his head up and grinned. "That takes care of that. Let's go home, hmm?"

Skulduggery smiled and shook his head. "That's a brilliant idea."

Saracen sighed and hefted a sphere the size of a snow globe. "This was a brilliant idea that Valkyrie had."

Skulduggery nodded. "It's wonderful that the Necromancers are actually _doing_ something this time."

Dexter snickered.

They started walking back to Dexter's Jeep. Skulduggery leaned back in his seat, and Dexter drove to the pick up point where Tanith, and Anton were waiting. Tanith grinned and held up a globe. It was completely black. "Caught us some wriggling, little remnants. These guys might know some things." She held them at arms length though.

Skulduggery nodded. "Let's get back to the Sanctuary."

Anton sighed. "We still aren't any closer to finding where Mevolent's lair is."

Skulduggery refused to think negative. He had too much at stake. He wasn't going to lose his family again.

Dexter sent him a worried look. The Dead Men knew that Skulduggery had nightmares every night. They knew, but they didn't comment.

"It will be there still, Skul. The Sanctuary can't lose. It's just not possible for the bad guys to win." Tanith said calmly.

Skulduggery snorted in dry amusement. "We can only hope."

Dexter drove around a pot hole and turned a corner. The jeep exploded.

They heard laughter. Laughter that they hadn't heard in nearly a decade.

Serpine slowly floated towards them.

Skulduggery lobbed a ghost globe at him, but he dodged it and evaded the suction. He laughed.

"As much as I'd love to kill you, Pleasant, I'm actually here to capture you alive." He chuckled. "I see that I can actually say that about you now. You are alive, aren't you."

He shrugged. "Or perhaps, you're only as alive as your current wife is." He smiled, his dark eyes glittering in malice. "I'd love to slit her pretty throat, like I did with Elysia."

Skulduggery almost lost it. He wouldn't have charged Serpine if Dexter and Saracen hadn't pulled him back. Anton glared at him. "Have you learned _nothing_ from that bloody knife?!"

Skulduggery forced his vision to clear. "What do you want?" Tanith crawled away from the wreckage that once was their jeep.

Serpine smiled. "What I want it to bring you in. You know two things that My Lord Mevolent wants."

Dexter snickered. "A dick?"

Saracen choked on his own spit. "How about some balls?"

Anton coughed. "Boys try not to act your mental age."

Dexter smirked. "Oh, I can assure you, my mental age is quite _mature._ "

Saracen started laughing. Serpine ground his teeth at the fact that these men weren't afraid of him. He hissed and raised his hand in signal.

Skulduggery looked up and growled. "Fuck."

Saracen sighed. "Oh Hell. Here we go again."

Wraiths seeped out of the alleys and doors of the abandoned town. There were about fifty wraiths and only five of them.

Dexter grinned fiercely. "This will be interesting."


	33. Chapter XXXIII

Chapter XXXIII

Saracen shook his head. "You have a very weird definition of interesting."

Anton groaned. "All I wanted was to get to the Sanctuary and take a bath." They watched the wraiths approach them slowly, surrounding them.

Skulduggery grunted. "Believe me, we _all_ wanted you to take a bath too."

Dexter blinked. "Um…where's Tanith? I don't want to survive this only to die at the hands of Ghastly."

Saracen did a double take at where Tanith used to be. Skulduggery started handing out the ghost globes. "She's on top of things at the moment."

They knew how Skulduggery twisted his words and so instinctively looked up. They immediately saw her crouched on one of the roofs.

Dexter smirked. "It's amazing how seldom people tend to look up."

Anton barked. "Scatter!"

They bolted from behind their cover right when the wraith lunged for them. Dexter unleashed his ghost globe and all the friendly ghosts that they kept in there during their travels flew out. "How'd you like that? A ghost globe suitcase!"

"For fighting, less puns!" Skulduggery shouted from across the street.

Saracen ducked away from a wraith. "How can we fight these bloody things?!"

"Duck!" He ducked just as Dexter obliterated two wraiths with his magic. He gave Saracen a cocky grin. "I don't seem to have any problem doing it."

Saracen gave him the finger.

Skulduggery kept five wraiths back with fire, hearding them into Dexter's reach. They heard Anton scream as he unleashed his gist.

Dexter smirked and ducked behind a broken wall next to Saracen. "Anton doesn't seem to be having trouble either."

"Will you just bloody such up, you git?!"

Dexter ducked Saracen's punch and ran, laughing, away. He destroyed four other wraiths while he ran.

Saracen found himself quickly cornered by three wraiths. He was about to shout for someone to back him up, when their heads exploded. He blinked. Looking up, he saw Tanith wave to him jauntily from the roof. He grinned and waved back.

Saracen ran back to the jeep to get more bullets but found Skulduggery already there. "Here!"

Saracen caught the pack. After loading his gun, he sighed and shook his head. "Skul, bullets won't do anything against these guys."

Skulduggery snorted. "I haven't seen an enemy yet that isn't at least with bullets."

Saracen just shook his head and shot the wraith that had teleported up behind Skulduggery.

Skulduggery dropped and rolled away and popped up to pepper a wraith with bullets. He scorched another and then waited until it dissipated into smoke to use air and blow it away. He lifted himself up and flew to the roof. "Need ammo?"

Tanith nodded in distraction. She caught the pack and then started plugging the monsters with more rounds. "We're at a stalemate, Skul. Dex and Anton are tiring out."

Skulduggery nodded. "We need to get out of here."

"I can provide distraction."

He shook his head. "No, Serpine wants me."

"No can do, Skul. I promised Val I'd bring you back alive." Tanith blasted a wraith away with her sniper rifle. It reformed only to be destroyed by Dexter. Skulduggery sighed.

"We don't have a choice." He flew off before she could retort.

Tanith growled. "Damn that man!"

She saw two warlocks hiding behind rubble and frowned. "Warlocks control these guys, don't they?" She grinned and took a bead on the guy that looked to be in charge.

His brain matter decorated the wall behind him. She sniped the other one before he could duck. The wraiths paused and then moved sluggishly, as if confused. Dexter used this opportunity to destroyed them all. It made things a lot easier when the targets were constantly teleporting around.

Meanwhile, Skulduggery was sneaking up behind Serpine. He opened the ghost globe. Serpine turned and growled. He knocked the globe out of Skul's hands. It shattered on the pavement.

Skulduggery smiled. "Thanks."

Serpine's eyes widened when he found fifty ghosts tackling him. Skulduggery chuckled. He slipped out a special kind of globe. One that China had made for Mevolent's generals specifically. Serpine started struggling even more. Skulduggery smirked.

He opened it.

Serpine gave a shout and all the ghosts clinging to him were sucked in with him. Skulduggery sighed. That had been plan Z. They had all volunteered for this, just in case they came across Mevolent, Serpine, or Vengeous.

"LET'S GO!"

Tanith scrambled off the roof and jogged up. She poked the globe. "He in there?"

Skulduggery nodded. "Along with Hopeless, and forty-three others of ours."

Dexter hissed in frustration. "How are we going to get them out without him escaping?"

Saracen shushed them. "They can hear everything we way. Come on, let's get back. We've got a long walk ahead of us."

Anton leaned against Dexter. "At least it's daylight now."

Skulduggery nodded silently. He was thinking about how he could torture Serpine for information.

 **Anyone who wants to adopt this story, please PM me. It's completely up for grabs.**

 **Ink...**


	34. Importan Notice

:Important Notice:

Dear Readers,

I don't normally do this, because one, it's against the Fanfiction rules, and two, it brings you guys' hopes up. However, this is important, and it's pertinent.

First and foremost, thank you all for your encouragement and reviews, for those who did review. Thank you guys for liking, reading, following this story.

No one offered to adopt _Beauty and Beast_.

I've never abandoned a story, and I don't really want to start now. However, I have run out of the chapters that I've already pre-written. Because of this, I won't be updating this story for a while. (A month at least)

I will be taking time off to write more chapters of _Beauty and the Beast_.

Please don't worry, I will not abandon this story. I have every intension to see it through to the bitter end.

Thank you, again, for your encouragement and reviews.

InkstainedHands1177


	35. Chapter XXXIV

**Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! I'm updating this story as a Christmas present to you guys!**

IMPORTANT NOTICE!

 _ **Beauty and the Beast**_ **will not be updated regularly. The updates will be erratic, but** _ **there will be updates**_ **! ; )**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Ink…**

Chapter XXXIV

Valkyrie rushed forward and jumped into Skulduggery's arms. "Honestly, Skulduggery, if you die, I'll never speak to you again!"

Skulduggery blinked and then stared down at her placidly. "True that."

She rolled her eyes.

"SKULLY!" Valkyrie moved aside to make way for Sparrows flying top speed. Skulduggery braced for impact.

Valkyrie looked around and saw Ghastly and Tanith doing a more tender welcoming. Her eyes narrowed when she noticed Dexter studiously avoiding anything to do with China.

 _He's been doing that for the entire war now. What is going on? Is he doing this because of China's actions against Skul?_ She sighed and decided to get to the bottom of it. They couldn't have arguments during battle.

"Sparrows, go to Wreath and help him with the ghosts, okay?" The ghosts seemed to regard Sparrows as a beacon to them. They followed her around like a little, rock star, until Valkyrie put a stop to it. Wreath and the other Necromancers started treating her like a mystery that they had to solve.

Sparrows wrinkled her nose. "Do I have to? He smells like death."

Skulduggery snorted, trying to stifle his laughter. Valkyrie rolled her eyes and sighed. "Just go, sis."

Sparrows sighed and trudged away, after stealing one more hug from Skulduggery. "Bossy."

Skulduggery looked at Val. "Yes?"

Valkyrie just shook her head and started walking to the Throne Room. "It's bad. This is a war of attrition, Skul. And, I'm afraid that we'll run out before Mevolent does."

Skulduggery frowned. "No sign of him or his scepter?"

"None." She sighed and looked at the rising sun. "How can the sky look so pretty when the ground is covered in gore." She groaned. "And each night we _add_ to Mevolent's forces."

Skulduggery shook his head slowly. "We need to find him. We need to grab that scepter. The war will be over once we have control over the ghosts."

Valkyrie stared at the throne room. Ghastly, Erksine, and China were all arguing over something. They stood around a large map. Skulduggery quickly moved up to them, his hand still tightly wrapped around his wife's waist.

"Well?"

Erskine looked up and groaned. "Nothing. Mevolent knows that the scepter is our only hope. He's keeping himself well hidden."

Wreath walked in quickly. "Some of the ghosts have come back. They have some bad news."

Everyone stifled their sighs. It was always bad news. Wreath continued. "Mevolent isn't exactly hiding. He's doing research. He's trying to find out where Vile is."

Everyone went still. Valkyrie bit her lip to stop a sob of panic. She tasted blood. _Curse these blasted hormones!_ She had been on the verge of crying all day. She stopped herself from looking at Skulduggery. Instead, she bent over the map.

"Then he's still in the underworld. The one place we can't get to. He came up to the surface to threaten me. Then he went back down. There's got to be something that he's up to, besides the obvious. Mevolent isn't an obvious person. He isn't. He's tricky."

Erskine sighed. "And? What are we going to do? Our hands are tied! None of us are dead, so we can't go down there. The ghosts can't go down there, because the scepter is too powerful for them to fight against. How can we possibly-"

"Nye!" Valkyrie's dark eyes gleamed. "Get Nye!"

Skulduggery growled. "I hate that thing."

"It's the only thing that's lived near death! It knows the Coachman!"

China frowned. "But how do we know if it will cooperate?"

Valkyrie waved her hand dismissively. "We don't know until we try!"

The scientist was brought in front of them. Valkyrie moved up to it. "Tell me, Nye, have you heard anything from the dead?" She spoke quietly, soothingly.

It looked at her quizzically. "Yes, in fact I have. They are torn between liking Mevolent and hating him."

Skulduggery muttered something indelicate. "We already knew that moron!"

It bristled. Obviously, it didn't like having its intelligence doubted. "There are also rumors about him taking roost in a place where the living and the dead are balanced."

Wreath looked up in interest. "Oh?"

China frowned. "Where do you stand on this whole war, Nye?"

It looked at her, its face the paragon of boredom. "I have no opinion about this skirmish. The struggles between humans, whether living or dead, do not concern me."

She nodded slowly. "And do you know where this secret location is?"

It's mangled lips twisted painfully into a shadow of a smile. "If I knew of the location, then it would not be much of a secret, would it?"

Ghastly sighed while Skulduggery moved threateningly closer. Nye inched away. "However, in order to preserve a more healthy atmosphere for myself, I will tell you that I have heard that the ghost king is holding court in my old laboratories. It is not a proven theory, however, as I have not been able to find out for myself if the rumors were true." Its head swiveled back and forth. "Is that answer satisfactory?"

Erskine sighed. "It doesn't matter if it's satisfactory or not. Is it true? That's all we really want to know."

Nye stared at the golden eyed man. "I can assure you that I do not know if this rumor is true. I am merely reporting the possibility of it being true. I believe the term is 'gossip'." Its voice was dripping with silent disdain.

Skulduggery growled. "Get it out of here, or I swear, I'm going to drop kick it to the next century!"

Nye leveled a stare at him. "I do not understand why you dislike me so." He simply shrugged and let the room.

Skulduggery's dark eyes moved away. "You don't need to know. Just know that I hate you." He turned away and stared at the map. Picking up a marker, he pushed it into the paper. "Here is the approximate location of Nye's old laboratory."

Valkyrie shivered. "Not everyone can get to it. It's a perfect place to go. The ghosts can go to and fro, but the living struggle to survive it."

Skulduggery saw the look in her eyes. "No."

She stared at him. "No what?" they quickly became oblivious to the people around them.

"I will not allow you to endanger the baby's life by traveling on the coach!"

Valkyrie bristled and then slowly exhaled. She sat down on a seat with a sigh. "Alright."

Skulduggery stared at her, his eyes widening in shock. She had given in so quickly. He stared at China and then at Tanith and Ghastly. They looked slightly shocked too. Well, not China. She was too busy staring past them all.

"Oh dear."


	36. Chapter XXXV

Chapter XXXV

They all turned and stared. The Necromancer guards were walking into the hall. "Elders, Elder Sorrows' sigils have snared a ghost trying to sneak into the Sanctuary. She refuses to speak with us. We caught her in a catcher and have brought her to you."

Skulduggery rolled his eyes. "Perfectly done. You have proven yourselves to be a great help."

Everyone stared at him in shock. Skulduggery glared at the guards. "To Mevolent! There is an extremely high possibility that this ghost was attempting to sneak in to attack _us_. By bringing her _to_ us, you have helped her _exceedingly_ in her mission." He sighed and shook his head. "The stupidity of Necromancers will never cease to amaze me."

Wreath looked ready to kill. Valkyrie moved quickly and placed a placating hand on the older man's arm.

"Skul, now is not the time."

Skulduggery glared at her hand on Wreath's arm. She moved away from her old teacher and closer to Skul. "Skulduggery Pleasant, stop acting like a spoiled child and let the guards interrogate the ghost."

He blinked and then sighed. "Sparrows, I know you're hiding behind the suit of armor. Leave before the ghost is released."

Sparrows moved guiltily out from behind the suit of armor. "Fine."

Valkyrie looked outraged. "Sparrows Flight!"

The youngest Edgley didn't even wince. She just sighed and left the room. Valkyrie stared at Skulduggery. "How did you notice?"

"The wind current changed. Simple. I taught that trick to you within the first year of our partnership." He looked at her in concern.

Valkyrie bit her lip slightly and looked at her hands. "Oh…I remember it…" The truth was, she was slowly getting her powers back. First had come Necromancy, much to Skulduggery's chagrin. The next power was fire, but it was weaker than a candle at first. Air had come next. Water still hadn't come to her at all.

The closest Skulduggery could figure, the magic that Valkyrie had absorbed was slowly adjusting to her body and morphing into what she needed. She was still able to throw energy.

China moved to the guards. She drew a circle around them and then symbols and words inside the circle. She double checked her work carefully and then nodded. "Alright, move out of the circle and then throw the catcher into the circle so it will shatter."

The guards did that. The globe broke and a ghost ripped out with an outraged scream.

Skulduggery stiffened. "Elysia…?"

Valkyrie felt like she'd been sucker punched. All the Dead Men were staring at the ghost in shock. Saracen laughed.

"Elysia!" He stared at China. "What are you doing, smudge the circle so she can get out!"

Valkyrie found her voice. "No!"

Skulduggery turned slowly and stared at her. "Why?"

She blinked at him, her eyes shifting from Dead Man to Dead Man. "Because…don't you remember what the others said about her? They said she'd changed! For the worse! They said that she couldn't be trusted!"

The ghostly woman started crying. "Skulduggery, who is this woman? How can you let her say such horrible things?! It was Mevolent! That bastard! He's controlling everyone now. I may have done things that I wouldn't have done before." Her pale blue eyes widened. "I don't know. I can't remember what I did. It was all a blur, like seeing the world in a fog."

Valkyrie wanted to shake her husband. He seemed to become ensnared in the woman's voice. Elysia's voice was soft, refined. It was the voice of a lady. Her accent was faintly English. Her hair was blond, long, straight, and pale like thinly spun gold. Valkyrie knew it would have been soft when the woman was alive.

Simply put, Elysia was a Lady. Beautiful, stately, and fair in the purest form of the word. She wasn't exotic like China. She wasn't striking like Tanith. She was soft, delicate. Beautiful in every feature and form. Her hands were small and sweet. Her figure was fragile and doll-like.

Valkyrie felt extremely inadequate and Elysia was _dead_!

Skulduggery moved closer to the circle. "Elysia…"

China moved quickly and grabbed his arm. "Stop! I agree with Valkyrie. She shouldn't be trusted until we have further proof that she's on our side."

Elysia quickly recognized China, despite the new clothing and fashions. "You!" Her blue eyes turned icy and flashed at Skulduggery. "You would believe a worshipper of the Faceless Ones and a _murderess_ instead of your own wife!"

Valkyrie hissed out a breath. " _Former_ wife! _I_ am Skulduggery Pleasant's wife _now_."

Elysia's face became still. "Oh?" She straightened up and stared at Valkyrie. Valkyrie quietly cursed the fact that she was equal in height.

Elysia's eyes quickly found Skulduggery's. Her face softened. "I do not begrudge you the desire to warm your bed once again. You have gone through an exceedingly long mourning period." She raised her hand slowly, as if to caress his face, but her hand touched the barrier, and she cried out in pain. Yanking her hand back, she clutched it and curled into a kneeling position.

Skulduggery, quick as a flash, smudged the circle and went to his wife. She allowed herself to become more solid, a trait that the older ghosts had.

He touched her hand. "Elysia…"

Elysia smiled at him. "Skulduggery, I knew that you truly cared. You wouldn't allow those women to keep you from me…I have always trusted you, and you have always taken care of me."

"I failed you though."

She smiled sadly. "You did not fail. I failed you. I allowed myself to be tricked and fooled by that woman." Her eyes cut across and glared at China. China stared right back, completely unaffected.

Skulduggery leaned further into the hand that Elysia held against his cheek. "You do not hate me for marrying another?"

She laughed quietly. "No. I do not hate you." She sighed, as if what she was about to say brought her pain. "I pity you. For it seems that the one you married does not love you as much as she should, else she would be by your side right now."

Skulduggery quickly looked around. Elysia was right.

Valkyrie was gone.

 **Thank you guys for your patience!**

 **I know it's been an extremely long wait. For that, I'm sorry.**

 **Hopefully the end is in sight for me. I have a game plan for this monstrous story. Now all I have to do is put it in writing. ; )**

 **I know I'm updating on a Tuesday instead of a Thursday, but I just didn't want you guys to wait any longer.**

 **Ink…**


	37. Chapter XXXVI

Chapter XXXVI

China sighed. She understood Valkyrie's reasoning, but the young woman was a fool for leaving her husband to Elysia's lies. Her eyes quickly found Tanith's. She nodded.

"Skulduggery, perhaps Valkyrie got sick again."

Skulduggery stiffened. "Sick?! What do you mean? Is she ill?" He had, temporarily, left the confines of the circle, but China kept a careful eye on the ghost. The circle had been smudged now, the barriers broken.

Ghastly sighed. "Morning sickness, Skul. She's been throwing up a lot. How have you not noticed?"

Skulduggery frowned. "Why haven't I noticed?"

Elysia moved out of the circle. China tensed. The ghost ignored her. She touched Skulduggery's cheek. "Why would anyone expect you to notice something that you obviously cannot fix? Your mind is so full of battle plans and war. I would not have been upset if you hadn't noticed me." she smiled shyly. "But that never became an issue, since you were so devoted to me, even during the war. Perhaps, you are missing the most important ingredient in marriage?"

Skulduggery frowned. "Of course not! I love her!" He moved to leave and find Valkyrie when Elysia grabbed his arm.

"As much as you loved me?"

"I love you both in different ways."

"Silly boy! Love is love! True love is the same no matter who it is directed to."

Skulduggery frowned. "What do you mean?"

China shouted out before Elysia could explain. "Never mind what she is saying, Skulduggery! We have a war to plan! She is only proving to be a distraction!"

Elysia glowered at China. She smiled back at Skulduggery, when he turned to look at her. She cooed. "Are they always so demanding of you, Skulduggery? I would have assumed that they would heap honor and respect upon you. After all, you have done so much for them!"

Ghastly stepped closer, his voice was soft. "So has Valkyrie Cain."

Valkyrie's name seemed to snap Skulduggery out of whatever daze he had entered. "Valkyrie…" He pulled away from Elysia and moved to the exit, only for the door to open and Valkyrie to waltz in.

Her dark eyes flashing. She was pulling Nye in after her. "That's her! I know you know more than you let on, Nye! Has she been seen in Mevolent's headquarters?"

Nye stared placidly at the ghost. "No. But of course, I would need to know her name in order to ascertain a more solid conclusion."

"Elysia…" Valkyrie faltered.

Elysia lifted her head proudly. "Whilkes. Elysia Whilkes."

Nye shook his head. "No. I have not heard of such a name among the whispers from the dead."

Wreath sighed. "Neither have I."

Elysia gave Valkyrie a triumphant smile. China didn't like this. She didn't like this one bit. "Skulduggery!"

The man started. "China?"

"As your Elder, I am _ordering_ you to leave this hall. I give you my word that we shall not harm or imprison Elysia wrongfully."

Elysia stared at her and laughed. "Your word?! You have proven a _thousand_ times over that your word is worthless!"

Valkyrie snarled. "And she has since proven a _thousand_ times over that her word and become stronger!"

Elysia stared at her, then her anger melted into grief. "Skulduggery…why do you let them persecute me so? What have _I_ done against them? _I_ was the one who was murdered! _I_ was the one who was replaced!"

Skulduggery moved his left hand softly down Elysia's arm, soothingly. "No, Elysia, I won't let them hurt you. You haven't been proven to be a traitor."

Elysia whimpered slightly and buried her face into Skulduggery's shoulder. Valkyrie's mouth went dry. Her eyes flashed in rage. " _Let. Go. Of. My. Husband."_

Elysia froze. Skulduggery was still. Valkyrie was glaring at the ghost. Elysia smirked. "Or what? I would think that it would be _Skulduggery_ who would have the most say in who he touches and allows to touch him."

Valkyrie snarled. "Not when marriage creates a union between two people. I belong to Skulduggery, and Skulduggery belongs to _me_!"

Elysia sniffled. "Then what about me? I have even more say. I am his first wife!"

Valkyrie gave a scream of rage and ripped Elysia away from her husband. "You omitted a very important word. WAS! Once you died, your marriage to him was nullified! Stop twisting the words around Skulduggery's brain! He's my husband, and he belongs to me!"

Elysia smirked. "I contest your marriage."

Everyone froze. Valkyrie looked like she had been slapped. "What?!"

Elysia lifted her nose up. "Do you not understand English? I said, _I contest your marriage_."

Skulduggery was silent. His eyes were wide as he glance back and forth between the two women.

Valkyrie was practically spitting fire. "And what do you propose to do?"

Elysia laughed like Valkyrie was a child. "The marriage, according to Sanctuary law, was indecently done."

Valkyrie stared at Erskine. "Can she do this?"

Erskine looked miserable. "Unfortunately, yes she can."

Elysia looked at everyone triumphantly. Ghastly clasped his hands worriedly. "Skulduggery, by law, you are to divorce Valkyrie and never see her again."

Skulduggery's face might has well been a skull, for all the emotion that he showed. "No."

Everyone stared at him in surprise.

"Very cleverly done, but no, Elysia, not this time." His eyes sparked. There was anger there. "The ghosts were right. They were telling the truth. You have changed."

Elysia stepped back. "Skulduggery?" Her eyes were wide. She looked heartbroken.

Skulduggery stared at her hard. "You claimed that you had been under Mevolent's control. However, you also said that everything was foggy, that you didn't remember." He stepped closer to his former wife. "How did you know about my marriage to Valkyrie being indecent, if everything was suppose to be… _blurry_?"

Elysia froze. Her eyes were wide in shock. After a moment, they narrowed. "Fine." China gave a shout and stepped in front of Valkyrie, holding out her arm. Her hand had a new sigil painted on it. It flared brightly. Elysia screamed and blocked her eyes.

Quick as a flash, before the guards could snare her with a catcher, she fled out the doorway and out through an open window.

Skulduggery turned to face Valkyrie. She slapped him. "How _dare_ you believe _anything_ she has to say over what _I_ say! HOW DARE YOU!"

Skulduggery blinked. "But I didn't." He cocked his head slightly in confusion. "I was only playing along, hoping for a chance to capture her and interrogate her." His eyes looked sad. "She isn't the Elysia I knew before. She truly has become a mania. Insane in her grief and bitterness." He stared at Valkyrie. "I told you once before; I will tell you again. I will love you to the end, Valkyrie Cain. I love you more than I have ever loved Elysia."

She fell into his arms, not crying, but breathing hard. She had been so scared of losing him to Elysia's lies. Valkyrie's fears, her insecurities had been pulled out again and played with. She _hated_ it.

Skulduggery knew. He lifted her into his arms and carried her out of the hall. "If any of you see Alice, keep her away from my rooms."


	38. Chapter XXXVII

Chapter XXXVII

Valkyrie relaxed against the bed. "Skul?"

Skulduggery smiled slowly at her. His eyes were darker than before. "If you think that a short honeymoon could _ever_ sate my hunger, then you have thought wrong."

Valkyrie gulped. "Um, Skul, we can't…the walls aren't thick enough."

He chuckled and took off his shirt. "Let the whole Sanctuary know that you are mine." He bent over his wife, pinning her in by his legs and arms.

Speaking quietly in his velvety voice, Skulduggery whispered in her ear. "My wife. My life. My _own_." He kissed Valkyrie's neck and bit it.

She gasped and then moaned when he bit it again. "You like pain, don't you. My pretty, little partner. You like to be _owned_."

Valkyrie groaned and tried to push against her husband, but Skulduggery moved away. "You doubted my love for you. I don't think I should give you what you want just yet." He chuckled and then pulled her blouse off, mindful of the buckles and buttons.

Valkyrie gasped a protest at the slowness, but Skulduggery simply growled in reply and went back to his work.

He soon had her naked.

Valkyrie watched as his face become one of wonder. "Beautiful. Exotic. _Dangerous._ " He leaned in and kissed her, dominating her mouth, plundering it and taking whatever he desired.

Valkyrie moaned and struggled against his grip on her wrists. She didn't even know when he grabbed her. Skulduggery chuckled and kissed her neck and clavicle and slowly moved down her torso.

Valkyrie was writhing, begging, beseeching, but he wouldn't listen. He was set in his plan, and he wasn't going to change it.

Valkyrie hissed in frustration. "Get _on_ with it!"

He chuckled. "As my lady commands."

The rest the afternoon was spent in utter pleasure and bliss.

~later that same day~

Skulduggery nodded to the guard. "I'm ready."

The man nodded back. "We finally figured a way to get them separate. The ghost globe was shattered and the good ghosts pushed Serpine into a separate room. He's in there now." The man pointed over another room.

Skulduggery nodded his understanding and walked over. He tapped his sigils and entered the room.

"Well…it seems that the position has changed." Skulduggery chuckled. He glared at Serpine. "Here you are, trapped in a room, and here I am in the flesh, your keeper."

Serpine glared at the detective. "I refuse to cooperate with you."

"You have no say in anything I do. Where is Mevolent's headquarters?"

"I will not say."

"Pity." He turned towards Serpine and held out a penlight of some sort. "This is a very handy gadget that Kenspeckle made." Skulduggery shrugged. "Actually, he didn't _make_ it. He invented it. Wrote about it in a notebook and promptly forgot about it after he solved the puzzle. It was later found and actually made. Do you know what it does?"

Serpine watched it warily. "What?"

Skulduggery chuckled. "It gives off extremely large amounts of energy, similar to that of an energy thrower. Piercing light, pure energy, and presto!" Skulduggery smiled brightly. "Absolute agony for all those dead." He grinned and sat down in the only chair in the room. "Shall we begin?"

Serpine was screaming even before Skulduggery was finished with his sentence. The ghost tried to charge the detective, but he didn't have a chance. He was writhing in the air before he took one ghostly step. Skulduggery laughed lightly.

"The nice thing is that you're dead! I can't go overboard on your torture. I can torture you all I want, and you still will be ready for more. You can't faint; you can't pass out. Absolute pain nonstop! Isn't it wonderful?!"

Unfortunately, Serpine couldn't give a witty comeback, screaming in pain does inhibit one's wittiness.

Skulduggery stopped abruptly. He stared at the ghost with no expression on his face. "Where is Mevolent's hide out."

Serpine shook his head. Skulduggery sighed.

"As much as I admire your fortitude, it really is a useless endeavor. I will get my answer eventually. But I do enjoy torturing you, so thank you for that." He pressed the light again.

~nine hours later~

Skulduggery hummed quietly as he stepped lightly down the hall. "Well, that was pleasant." He shrugged and glanced at Dexter. "Not for him though."

Dexter stared at Skulduggery. "You really have a darker side to you, don't you, Skul?"

Skulduggery sighed. "Doesn't everyone, Dexter?"

"True. What'd you find?"

"Mevolent's headquarters are in Nye's old labs." He grinned. "Get the Dead Men ready. We're going on a raid."

Dexter grinned back.

 **I finished the story! Updates will be regular from now on. Every Thursday! YESSSSS!**

 **Ink…**


	39. Chapter XXXVIII

Chapter XXXVIII

Valkyrie made sure her door was locked. She took a deep breath and stared at the cushion. "I did it before, I can do it again." She shrugged slightly. "Of course, I did it when I was Darquesse, but I still did it with my own magic. Darquesse was me, a part of me…" She shivered. "Okay, I'm going to stop thinking about that now."

She raised her hand and focused on the pillow. Closing her eyes, she imagined the pillow turning into pure energy, like she did to the air when summoning her light power.

Smelling smoke, she opened her eyes and screeched. She quickly stomped the fire out. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head and tried again with the rug. It didn't burn this time. It simply vanished. She grinned. _Okay_ …She practiced it until it came easily to her.

Valkyrie moved downstairs quickly. Looking around, she slipped outside on her own. Four hours till sunset. With a smile on her face, Valkyrie closed her eyes. "I know who I am. I know my power. I am Valkyrie Cain. I am Stephanie Edgley." The wind quickened. _Come on! Come on! Raise me up! Lift me up! Put air between me and the earth!_ She focused on the air. _If Skulduggery can do it without his name, then so can I!_

She closed her eyes and slowly felt the ground leave her feet. Snapping her eyes open, she yelped with glee as she saw herself a foot off the ground. Her elation was cut short as her distraction caused herself to rush back to the earth.

"Damn it." Growling, she focused again. It wasn't coming to her. She frowned in thought. _I'm thinking about this wrong…_ Her eyes widened. "Thinking?" She closed her eyes and thought about the air currents lifting her, the air molecules coming between her and the ground. The wind whipped at her hair. She opened her eyes and laughed aloud when she realized she was fifteen yards into the air.

"YES!" She rose higher. The wind pushed her forwards until she was floating in the sky at the center of town. She grinned in triumph.

Unknowing to her, the cries of 'Darquesse is back!' were going throughout the Sanctuary.

Skulduggery stared out the window. "Valkyrie!" He ran down the halls and rushed into their bedroom. There were ashes in the room. His eyes widened. Darquesse wouldn't hunt down Valkyrie…would she?

He fled outside the Sanctuary and stared up. That wasn't Darquesse. That wasn't…Darquesse wore shadows. Valkyrie wore leather.

"Valkyrie!" He lifted himself into the air.

Valkyrie frowned and turned herself around. "Skul!" Her face split into a grin. "I'm flying! Can you believe it?! I'm flying!" She shot higher, laughing all the while. He followed her.

"Valkyrie, I'm very proud of you, but what the hell are you doing? The Sanctuary damn near shot you out of the sky!"

Valkyrie's frown of confusion, became one of understanding. "They thought I was her…"

"Yes!"

She bit her lip and then slowly sank back down to the ground. "Sorry…I…I wasn't thinking straight."

"Flying can do that to you."

Valkyrie felt like crying, but she forced it off and smiled bravely at Skulduggery. "They can go fuck themselves. I'm not going to stop flying."

He barked a laugh. "No, I wouldn't want you to either." Giving her a kiss, he smiled. "I'm proud of you, Valkyrie. You're becoming more powerful, on your own."

She grinned. "Thanks." They walked back inside the building together. Everyone was staring at her. Surprise, shock, and quite a few distrustful stares greeted her.

Valkyrie scowled. "It's been nearly a decade, bitches!"

They blinked in shock and then scattered, pretending that the whole thing hadn't happened. Valkyrie sighed. "Damn hormones."

Skulduggery coughed. "You're…cussing a lot more."

Valkyrie gave him a look. "Problem?"

"Nope." He kissed her neck. She sighed and smiled.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. Not like you can control your hormone levels very well. Are you hungry?"

"Starved."

"Excellent. Let's go eat. Then the Elders want us in for a briefing about the latest mission. Serpine cracked by the way."

Valkyrie stopped and stared. "And you just now thought to tell me?!"

He smiled. "Sorry."

She rolled her eyes. "Ugh."

They entered the mess hall. "What did he say?"

"The location to Mevolent's villainous hideout."

She grinned. "And?"

"Nye's labs."

She wrinkled her nose. "Logical but damn near impossible to get to."

"I know. But the Dead Men will succeed."

Valkyrie frowned and shook her head. "No… Skulduggery, they won't know how to do it. They aren't trained in Necromancy. We are."

"I will not have our child put at risk."

Valkyrie sighed and shook her head. "When it comes down to the wire, one of us will have to go."

"I and the Dead Men."

"No. Not all of them. Leave some as back up in case the mission goes haywire. It could be a trap. I don't trust Serpine. He may have pretended to crack."

Skulduggery chuckled. "Not likely. It took him nine hours. He wouldn't have purposefully gone through that much pain in order to pretend."

Valkyrie had to admit that that made sense. Still… "Whatever you say, Skul. I still think it might be a trap. We should prepare just in case."

He nodded. "Obviously."

She smiled at him. "Skulduggery, I made a very important discovery!"

 **Sorry about this being so late. Life happened.**

 **Ink…**


	40. Chapter XXXIX

Chapter XXXIX

Valkyrie fought the urge to yawn. China gave her a wink. Erskine was a good leader, but he was bloody boring when it came to meetings. Skulduggery sighed. "Stop." He stood up. "Nye's labs are here. Valkyrie knows a witch who can get us in contact with the Coachman. Nye's no longer there to bother us, so all we have to do is arrive there. Unfortunately, the Coach can only take five people. So, we need to chose wisely. People who's powers cannot be inhibited while being slightly dead."

Valkyrie raised her hand. Skulduggery rolled his eyes. "We talked about this. No."

She pouted and sighed but motioned for the meeting to continue. Skulduggery continued the meeting. "So, the people who are going, are myself, Dexter, Anton, Tanith, and…" He rolled his eyes. "Wreath."

Wreath raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry…what was that?" There was a wicked smile on his face.

"If you're hard of hearing, then you shouldn't be going on this mission." Skulduggery didn't give the man even a glance.

Wreath chuckled. "But…I'm slightly confused. Why would you choose me?" He pressed his hand to his chest.

Skulduggery refused to reply. Valkyrie smirked. "He said that even though you're an insufferable prat, you're good at what you do."

Wreath chuckled again. "Good to know. Thank you, Skulduggery. You're _too_ kind."

Skulduggery huffed. "Valkyrie and I have already established that this entire thing might be a trap. So…" He looked to Valkyrie. She sighed.

"Because of this, we're going to have all the Necromancers create a distraction by flushing all the ghosts into the living world during the daytime, both congregating them in one place and denying Mevolent any backup."

The others nodded. Dexter frowned. "How will they be able to do this exactly?"

Wreath smiled patronizingly at the man. "Through trances. We will call the ghosts up to our world and trap them with circles and symbols. It's all very easy to understand."

Dexter gave him an irritated glance. "I'm sure it is, for someone who's studied it all their bloody lives."

Saracen snickered. China gave an irritated sigh. "Can we please focus on the issue. This is war, after all. People are dying. I would like it very much if their deaths weren't in vain."

That put a damper on the rest of the meeting.

~one week later~

Skulduggery waved one last farewell to his wife. _I won't die on you. Well, not completely anyway._ He smiled ruefully at that. Dexter sighed. Glancing at Tanith, he smirked. "Bet Ghastly had a hard time letting you go."

"You have no idea." She smirked. "Let's just say I'm very surprised that I can even walk right now."

Anton wrinkled his nose. "Must you?"

Dexter started laughing. "Anton, get bloody laid!"

Anton gave him an unimpressed stare. "No thank you. It doesn't interest me. What I want to do is have this bloody war over and done with. It's been five months too long anyways."

"Five months?"

"When Mevolent forcibly took the scepter away from Scapegrace."

Tanith nodded. "Right."

Skulduggery sighed and stared at the sky. "Dying would be a pain if the dead felt pain."

Dexter frowned slightly as they saw the carriage appear. "Ye-es?"

Anton was the first to walk into the carriage. He sat down quietly, becoming pale quickly. Skulduggery watched, remember what Valkyrie told him about the trip. _I must keep my mind sharp, remember what gives me focus._

They all got into the carriage. Dexter stared blankly at Skulduggery. Skul smiled. "Well. Here I am again. Dead. Completely dead. Utterly dead." He stared at Tanith. She wasn't looking at him. She was looking at his shoes. "Like them?"

He sighed. "Being dead is boring." He remembered now. He had died once before. When he turned into a mere bag of bones. He had been angry. Enraged. He had actually opened the carriage door and jumped out. Skulduggery chuckled. "This is a nice view." He looked out the window at the swirling grey mist. "Very nice. Colorful."

He glanced at Anton and frowned. The man was snoring. "Is that…suppose to happen?" With a sigh, he decided to settle back and wait for them to arrive. When they did, all of them were roused and shuffled after the Dullahan.

The headless figure left them at the main workshop entrance. Without a word. Though, Skulduggery guessed, it would be rather difficult to speak without a mouth, or a head.

He moved over to Tanith. "Can you understand me?" She nodded slowly. "What did Ghastly do with you this morning?"

Something flickered in her eyes. "Oh…" She blinked and then shook her head. "This is hard. Hard to focus."

"Focus on why you're here. What's your goal?"

"To save Ireland and put Mevolant on his damn arse once and for all."

Skulduggery smiled. "Excellent." He turned to Wreath. "Can you understand me?" A nod.

"Excellent. You're a moron. A stupid, arrogant fool who never actually did an ounce of work himself, pushing everyone else to do his share. You're a waste of space. A dickhead who wouldn't recognize his own mother unless she was a ghost. You are the stupidest, most idiotic, rudest, and egotistical man in all of Europe. I have the dubious honor of seeing you, alive or dead. Though…seeing you dead is pleasant. It's a memory I foresee myself growing quite fond of. The only other memory I might prefer even more is of me shooting you."

Irritation was slowly growing in Wreath's eyes. "Shut up, bloody detective…"

Skulduggery chuckled. "I enjoyed annoying you awake."

"You enjoy any excuse to annoy."

"Especially you. I don't need an excuse to annoy you."

"Boys." Tanith smirked. Everyone else was awake.

Dexter rolled his eyes. Skulduggery frowned. "How did Tanith wake you up?"

"She reminded me of my goal of getting laid after this stupid war is over."

"You need to stop thinking with your dick. It's very unhealthy." Dexter pouted.

"Fascinating. And what were you five planning on accomplishing by coming here? Performing a stand up comedy?"

Skulduggery frowned and looked at Mevolent. "Oh! Fancy meeting you here!"


	41. Chapter XL

Chapter XL

Dexter glanced around at the others. They were awake but were far too sluggish. Mevolent chuckled. "As you can obviously see, I have the upper hand." He tsked.

Skulduggery chuckled. "I'm sure when it comes to destroying you, my men will certainly snap out of it."

Wreath was watching everyone warily and then his eyes widened. "Skulduggery, I'm afraid that he's not talking about us."

Skulduggery stared at the unconscious forms of Valkyrie and Sparrows. Serpine chuckled.

"What goes around, comes around. Isn't that right?"

A woman's voice screamed out, "Kill her!" Skulduggery's gaze snapped up to Elysia. "You promised me that you would kill her completely and banish her to the deepest prisons!"

Mevolent nodded. "I shall. I shall, but first…" He motioned to Serpine. The ghost made ready with his knife.

"Now, I have one little question." He stared at all of the Dead Men and Wreath. "Where is Tenebrae?"

Skulduggery blinked and then stared at him. "He's in the Sanctuary. Why do you want him?"

Mevolent chuckled. "Because he's Vile. All I need to do now is bring out that little alter ego and finish my campaign."

Valkyrie's eyes opened. They were sparking with rage. She glanced at Sparrows and scowled. Sparrows' eyes opened too. At first she was confused and then she saw the scepter.

 _Is that what all the fuss is about?_

She reached of it and touched it.

Everyone jerked when Sparrows let out a scream. Mevolent chuckled. "Ah, ah, _ah_ … in order to claim this or steal it, you must be dead." He shrugged. "Well, completely dead actually."

The ghosts surrounding Mevolent flickered. They frowned. "My King…" Serpine growled slightly and clenched his fists. Vengeous, too, was focusing on staying put. All the other ghosts disappeared.

Wreath chuckled and suddenly tendrils of shadow lashed the other two henchmen down. "What were you saying about having the advantage?"

Mevolent snarled and grabbed the closest person next to him. "Very well then, let me give you a little _incentive_ to answer my question!"

He shoved the bone blade through her chest. Her soul was ripped out of her, killing what life was left inside of her. The light extinguished from her eyes.

Skulduggery let out a scream of rage and everything went black to him. Shadows started forming around him, fashioning themselves into armor. He didn't notice. All he could see was her…bleeding out slowly.

Dexter launched himself at Mevolent, throwing energy at the ghost king. He forced him to retreat, dropping the corpse.

Saracen backed up Dexter's attack. Neither one of them noticed Skulduggery's transformation.

 **…sorry about the cliffy…**

 **BAHAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Apparently, I posted this, but it didn't post. Ugh. Sorry! Thanks for all the reviews and the patience! ; D**

 **Ink…**


	42. Chapter XLI

Chapter XLI

Skulduggery stared at the grave. _Valkyrie…I'm so sorry._ He stared at the sky and felt tears slip down his face for the first time in three hundred years. _There's always regret in war. Always. There are always losses. I know this, but why did it have to be this way! Why?!_

Ghastly sadly slipped his arm around Skulduggery's shoulders. "I'm sorry. I wish I could have helped you."

"You weren't even there, Ghastly. You weren't even there. It was too quick. Too bloody quick. All I heard was Valkyrie screaming. I couldn't stop staring."

Fresh tears came out. "It was too big a price."

Ghastly quietly guided a dazed Skulduggery away from the grave back into the Sanctuary. He glanced at the closed door. _Poor Sparrows. I wish there was something that could have been done instead of this._

China gave Skulduggery a cup of tea, but he didn't smile like he usually did at the prospect of having tea. He just stared into the liquid.

"I can't even kill Mevolent because of it. I can't go down there and kill him. Can't kill someone who's completely dead."

Ghastly looked over at Tanith and sighed. Skulduggery was broken. Again. "Skulduggery, you're strong. I know-"

"I won't be able to get over her death, Ghastly. Don't even suggest it." Poison dripped from the detective's words. Ghastly flinched.

"I'm sorry. Her death was a blow to the entire Sanctuary. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

China stared at all the Dead Men. They were in a daze. The end of the war had only happened four days ago. Everything was far too fresh.

She bit her lip and left the room. She couldn't witness Skulduggery grieving for family _yet again_. She took a breath. "At least we don't have to worry about your trial. That will turn out nicely." Skulduggery continued to stare at his tea. Unresponsive.

Ghastly sighed and shook his head.


	43. Chapter XLII

Chapter XLII

Mevolant didn't even have time to scream. He was gone. Valkyrie smiled but then she noticed one other ghost who lingered in the corner of the room. "You…"

Vile turned to where she was looking. Valkyrie smiled. "Vile…destroy her."

The armored being didn't even hesitate. He raised his hand, and did exactly the same as Valkyrie did. Valkyrie laughed and clapped her hands. "You're a quick study!" She glanced around the room and then halted her movements.

Her insanity flickered and crashed when she saw the body of her little sister. She let out a low groan and rushed over to Sparrows. "No…my little sparrow…you can't…I can still save you. You can still live! Just let me take you to the Sanctuary…" She struggled to pick up her sister's still form. Vile moved closer to her, out of curiosity, wondering why Darquesse would worry about a little girl.

"Valkyrie…" Valkyrie turned and stared at the ghost of Meritorious, irritation sparking in her. She needed to save her sister. "I can't pick up the scepter!" She frowned, distracted, not completely getting what the ghost was trying to say.

Scapegrace nodded. "Yeah. Once you touch it, you can't touch it again after it's been taken from you."

Everyone stared at him.

The shock of the statement even cracked through Vile's rage, forcing the shadows to retreat and show an exhausted Skulduggery. "What the hell?" His voice was low. "Are you saying this only NOW?!"

Scapegrace bristled. "You never asked me!"

Valkyrie was sorely tempted to vaporize Scapegrace. "I hate you. I really do." She sat up, holding her dead sister. "Are you saying that this whole thing is a lost cause? Who is the king of the dead now?!"

Serpine watched as the shadows around him loosened slightly in Skulduggery's distraction. He jerked away and jumped for the scepter, intent on vanishing and reappearing in the hall of the dead.

He screamed as new shadows reappeared. But these were different. These shadows were spirits of the dead twisted into form and shape by the user's will.

Wreath gave a startled cry as he recognized what he saw.

Valkyrie cried out when the body of her little sister moved. Sparrows stood up unsteadily and cocked her head at the ghost how struggling against her power.

Sparrows stared at herself. "It's an interesting experience. Being killed when you're already dead." She smiled slightly. "But now…now I'm a ghost." She glanced at Serpine and her eyes hardened.

"I will not allow you to take that scepter and undo all the work of my family. No, Serpine. You master may have killed me, but I will not let the deaths of others be in vain." Serpine screamed again and then was squeezed into nonexistence.

Valkyrie breathed out slightly. Everyone was silent. Tanith stared at Dexter and Wreath. "What the hell?"

Valkyrie stared at Skulduggery and swallowed. "Sparrows…don't." Sparrows stared at her.

"I have to." She picked up the scepter. The ghosts bowed to her slowly. "I am Alice Edgley. I am your Queen." Her voice was quiet. "Send word to return to your homes in the underworld. This war is over. Our place is among the dead and the dead's place is not among the living. I will not allow the lines to be blurred again. Go!"

They vanished. Hopeless gave the Dead Men one last smile and disappeared.

Valkyrie stared at her little sister. "Alice…"

Alice smiled at her sadly. "Serpine has been banished to the deepest prisons. No one goes there." She stared at Wreath. "I am the Death Bringer." She smirked. "But, in true Egdley fashion, I will not do what is expected of me. The dead and the living will not be mixed. Do not try it again."

Wreath swallowed and nodded. He wasn't going to go against the most powerful Necromancer, who did have even have a lick of training and yet was able to accomplish all of this just on instinct. Nope. He wasn't going to argue.

Alice smiled at her sister. "Your baby is alive. Don't be sad. Please, Valkyrie. It's honestly fine. I'll be with mom and dad now, and I'll see my uncle, my real one. I'll be okay." She tried to touch her older sister's face. "Valkyrie, please…it was avoidable, but it happened. I have to take advantage of it." She knelt next to her sister.

Valkyrie continued to cry. "I can't lose you! Not again! Not again!"

Skulduggery slipped an arm around her shoulders. Alice frowned. _Again?_ She shook her head slowly. "You have Skulduggery. You have your baby. You aren't alone. Please, Val, I need to go. You have to let me go." She looked at Skulduggery. "I…I am not the little girl that you knew. I've changed." She stared at Tanith. "I'm not the same. I would never be the little girl you knew…" She sighed. "Valkyrie, I'm dead now. My place is among the dead. You have to let me go."

Valkyrie slowly stared at up at her sister's ghost. "I…let you go."

Alice smiled and gave her sister one, last, ghostly kiss. "I love you, sis." She vanished.

Skulduggery picked her up and carried her outside. The others followed them slowly. They all stared at each other in shock.

It was done.

It was over.

Somehow, Tanith hadn't imagined it would end this way. Dexter felt tears slip down his cheeks. Little Sparrows…Saracen turned away from the group and bit his lip. She was gone.

Wreath frowned. He made the connection, his eyes widening. "Wait…it wasn't Tenebrae this whole time! It was you." He stared at Skulduggery Pleasant. "You're Vile!"

Skulduggery sighed. "Brilliant observation."


	44. Chapter XLIII

Chapter XLIII

Valkyrie hadn't left her room the entire time, four days, since the end of the war.

Skulduggery's trial came and went. China thought Wreath was being stupid. Erskine thought he was insane to think they were imprison Skulduggery Pleasant. Ghastly just rolled his eyes and said that there were far more important things to worry about.

Wreath had left the Sanctuary in a huff.

The restoration of the Magic Society was going very well. Tipstaff had been imprisoned for betraying the Sanctuary, releasing a war criminal, and aiding in the kidnapping of Valkyrie Cain and Sparrows Flight. He wasn't going to leave prison any time soon, and if he did escape, then Skulduggery would be there with a gun to his head. So, Tipstaff realized that he was far safer _in_ prison than _out_.

Dexter watched as Skulduggery gathered the courage to knock on Valkyrie's bedroom door at the Sanctuary. He frowned and started to move forward, with the idea of offering comfort, but a hand grabbed onto his arm and pulled him away.

"China?! What are you doing?"

"They need to be alone, Dexter." She stared at him hard. "And we need to talk."

He pulled away from China and flushed slightly. "Talk about what? There's nothing to talk about." He started to turn, but China simply sighed.

"Pity, I like my men with guts." She inspected her nails and pouted. "Guess I need to get over my crush on you."

"You like Skulduggery."

"He's taken. Besides, he's _much_ older than me."

"I'm older than him."

China raised an eyebrow and smirked, moving smoothly closer to Dex, backing him up against a wall. "Oops. Guess I'll just have to make an exception." She scraped her forefinger along his jaw and down his throat slowly. "I wasn't the one who noticed first, you know. It was Valkyrie. She asked me if I had done anything to you. I was confused at first. You never seemed to notice me before." She pressed against him and chuckled. "I'm pretty sure you do _now_ though." She looked up at him, smirking.

Dexter cleared his throat. "China…I'm not looking for a one night thing."

China smirked and slipped her arms around his neck. "Well now…isn't that a coincidence." She kissed him just below his ear. "Neither am I."

He grinned slowly and then pulled her to him firmly, kissing her hard enough to make her sigh.

~meanwhile~

Skulduggery stared at the door that led to their bedroom. "Valkyrie…?"

The door opened. Valkyrie nodded to Skulduggery. "Why?"

"I don't know. But…Sparrows doesn't want you to cry."

"Your trial?"

"Is done. It only took five minutes." Skulduggery smirked. "In light of Mevolent, the war restoration programs, and funerals, Vile doesn't seem all that dangerous."

Valkyrie huffed laugh. "Right." She buried her face into his shoulder. "I still should have been there for you."

"It's fine, Valkyrie. You've been doing a very important thing right here."

"What is that?"

"Processing and grieving."

"No. What is that?"

He pulled away and looked at the object in his hand. "Ah. Your birthday was two days ago. But, since it's past now. I suppose I'll have to wait until next year to give it to you." He turned to put it away, but Valkyrie crossed her arms.

"You allow me to see it. I don't think you'd do that only to not give it to me. That's useless."

"No. It's actually quite entertaining to see you frustrated."

Valkyrie glared at him. "You take great fun causing me frustrations."

"Obviously. It's one of the few perks of having a partner."

"Just give me the bloody gift!"

He snorted and handed her the box. "You can be so rude to me."

Valkyrie huffed a laugh and focused on unwrapping the box. Her eyes widened as she looked at the golden charm bracelet, delicate and beautiful. Each little charm symbolized an important event in their lives. Some were bitter, others bittersweet, and still others were sweet memories, like the little, golden flag of the Bahamas, and the little rose that belonged to the Beast.

Valkyrie noticed a small sparrow near the clasp of the bracelet. She sniffled and looked up to stare at Skulduggery, a few more tears slipped down her cheeks. "Thank you."

He smiled sadly and pointed to another charm. It was a small bundled up baby.

Her eyes widened. She had forgotten all about her baby in the light of her sister's death. The doctors had checked her and told her that their child was healthy, and a girl.

"We need to focus on life, instead of death, Valkyrie. Death is all around us. Life…life is too rare to ignore."

She nodded and then gave a sob as she surged forward and kissed him. "Skulduggery…" She stared at him. "I love you. I have you. You're not dead. You're not dead."

He shook his head. "Not anymore."

She huffed a quiet laugh.

"Everything's going to be alright." He smiled at her.

"Let's go for a short flight…hmm? Get away from everything for a while."

She smiled and nodded. They left the Sanctuary, holding hands, and soared into the sky.

 **And it's done. Whew…**

 **Now, if anyone has any complaints…don't share with the class. If you didn't like the ending, then please keep that to yourself.**

 **For those of you who supported me to the very end and liked this story to the very end, THANK YOU! You are all so WONDERFUL! Seriously, thank you so,** ** _so_** **much. I** ** _very_** **much appreciate it.**

 **Thank you!**

 **InkstainedHands1177**


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